If you are having trouble coming to terms with a break-up, you may have been caught off guard and still want your ex back.You have to respect their wishes, but that doesn't make it easier to move on.Your sense of self-respect is at risk if you aregging or trying to seek understanding from your ex.Allowing yourself to mourn the relationship will allow you to find some kind of closure.
Step 1: Don't be tempted to beg.
It may seem like a good idea to plead with your ex and convince them to stay, but begging will only make you lose respect for yourself.You don't want a love that you have to beg for.Make a list of reasons why the break up is a good idea.Maybe your family didn't approve of you and your ex growing apart.
Step 2: Only the basic questions will be asked.
You might want to know why the break up happened.Resist the urge to ask too many questions if you want to know why your ex wants to break up or what you should tell your friends.You can cope with the days and weeks ahead by getting need-to-know information.
Step 3: For later, save less pressing questions.
You might reach out to your ex if you still have questions after a few weeks.You might have noticed a pattern of behavior in yourself that you would like to change.If you get your ex's feedback, you can improve certain relationship tendencies so you don't make the same mistake in the future.It is not expected that you will get total closure from your ex.You are the only person who can give you closure.When a relationship ends, there may be some unanswered questions.
Step 4: For now, stop your hopes for a friendship.
Don't try to be friends with your ex right away.Give the two of you time to heal and adjust to being single people.It could backfire if you try to force a friendship too soon.It will if it's meant to happen.
Step 5: Don't talk to your ex, off- and online.
After a break up, no contact is the way to go.Your ability to heal will be delayed by any communication between you.Unfriend your ex on social media and remove their contact information from your phone email.Maintaining contact on social media is okay if you become friends in the future.Try to avoid contact with your ex.If you feel like you have resolved your feelings for your ex, you can cut contact.
Step 6: Allow your mind to wander.
Give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship.Allow yourself to grieve for a specific period of time.You may need a few days or weeks to get over the break up.It's normal to grieve after a relationship ends, so don't judge yourself.You need to grieve.It could be through crying, yelling, curling up in bed with a movie or book.There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Step 7: Write a letter
Write a letter to your ex so you don't have to worry about it.Don't mail the letter, but include everything you want to say so they can read it on their own.You might write about how you felt after the break up.Let your feelings come out.You don't need to mail the letter because it's not for your ex.You don't need to be secretive about what you're thinking.
Step 8: Pack or throw away things.
There are things that remind you of the relationship.To box up for storage, create piles for trash, donation, or both.It is possible to get relationship reminders out of sight.If you have items that your ex may want to return, it's a good idea to figure out the best way to get them back.It could be mailing a box to their address or asking a friend to deliver it.If you need help, ask a friend or family member.
Step 9: For a while, lift your spirits by yourself.
You can release the pain of your break up by taking care of yourself.You can get your hair or nails done at the salon, go to the spa, or buy yourself a fancy new outfit.Doing something special for yourself will make you feel better.
Step 10: You should set strong boundaries with your former partner.
When they need attention, your ex may try to come back into your life.Tell your ex that you don't want them in your life and refuse to allow them to leave.If they want you to have sex or hang out one-on-one, turn down the offer.When the person expects you to drop everything to see them or interfere with their other relationships, this also means communicating your boundaries.The two of you may have shared some activities.Even though you have broken up, your ex may think that you two can continue.You can either find new outlets away from your ex or stop them.
Step 11: It's a good idea to date yourself for a while.
If you've been in a relationship for a long time, you may have neglected self-care.You can make yourself number one by using your new single status.Do all of the things you've always wanted to do, but never did in your relationship.You can go to new and interesting restaurants, browse art galleries, and attend concerts.You should look the same on your self-dates as you would on a regular date.Try out a new scent.
Step 12: Spend time with people who build you up.
After a break up, your self-esteem can take a hit.It is important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people.If you don't have a strong support system, join a new club.While you were with your ex, you may have neglected some relationships.
Step 13: Do something new.
Think of a small way to challenge yourself.Taking a small risk can make you feel better.Take self-defense, sign up for a cooking class, complete a certification for your job, or wear brighter colors in your everyday wardrobe.You can feel brand new if you switch things up.You could also journal.You can use this as an outlet for your feelings.