We all have been there.A bunch of emotions are still raging after the break-up.It will be hard to be strong initially, and you should allow yourself to grieve.Soon you'll start to heal the wounds, and you will be stronger and better than ever.
Step 1: Accept that the ache is normal.
Scientists have shown that romantic rejection can cause the same pathways in the brain as physical pain.It is natural to feel upset when you break up with someone.According to some psychologists, 98% of us have experienced some form of unrequited love.It could make the pain easier to bear if you knew that you are not alone.
Step 2: Let it out.
You should not pretend you are fine.Denying or minimizing your emotions will make them worse in the long run.You need to process how you are feeling so you can move on.If you feel like it, cry your eyes out.Crying can make you feel better.It can help reduce stress.If it helps, grab some tissues and wail your heart out.You can express your emotions through art or music.You can either write a song about how you feel or play a track that comforts you.Take a picture of your emotional state.Stay away from things that are sad or angry.These may make you feel sad and angry.It is tempting to let your grief out by punching or breaking things, screaming or shouting, but avoid this impulse if you can.Studies show that using violence to express your anger can make you feel more angry.If you want to express your anger in a healthy way, talk to yourself or someone you love.It will be easier if you have a family member or friend with you.You can let loose if you find someone who has a shoulder.At some point, they cried on your shoulder.The only thing they're doing is returning the favor.
Step 3: Write something about your feelings.
Expressing how you feel will allow you to accept that you are in pain, but it won't always be this way.Writing about your feelings can help you understand them.Taking some time for reflection is the first step in dealing with post-breakup loneliness.Take 20 minutes a day for three days to write about your feelings about this relationship.Take a moment to reflect on your experience in the relationship, how you feel after the break up, and what your worries are now that you are no longer in a relationship.Lack of independence, lack of openness, and missing that "magic" feeling are some of the reasons why people break up.When you write, don't worry about spelling or grammar.You are writing for yourself, to express your feelings.
Step 4: Take a moment to look at your writing.
The first step is writing your journal.To figure out why you are feeling that way, the next thing is to look back at what you have written.It is possible to understand your emotions better by thinking through them, and to catch any distortions that might be unfair to yourself.A common fear after a break up is that we are unattractive.It can be hard to believe that you won't find anyone who wants you again.You shouldn't convince yourself that it's true.Try to find evidence that a lot of people love you even if you don't love them the way you want.Look for statements in your journal.Research shows that these types of thoughts can make it hard to move on after a break up.Sometimes, a global statement might look like it is going to ruin my life, but that is probably not the case.Try saying something like, "This break up hurts right now, but it's only one part of my life." or "If only I'd done things differently, we wouldn't have."It is very unlikely that anything is 100% one person's fault.Break ups happen because of incompatibilities, not because one person is bad or wrong.People have different needs.It is irreversible if you say, "I'm never going to get over him/her or I'll never feel this way."People change.The hearts mend.You can tell yourself that you are in pain.It will not last forever.
Step 5: Positive self-affirmations should be repeated.
Breakups can affect your self-confidence.It is possible to remind yourself that you are an awesome person with a lot to offer.I am worth love and care, and there are people who recognize that I'm upset right now, but it won't last forever if you challenge them with one of these helpfulAffirmations.
Step 6: Positive attributes are listed.
Breakups can make you doubt your worth.It is important to remember the good things about you.You handle rejection better when you remind yourself that you are worth loving.There are a lot of cool things about yourself.When you feel down, make a list and remind yourself that you are a remarkable person.If you just broke up with someone, think about what you can do.Do you do a lot of things?Do you enjoy walking or cooking?List your skills and remind yourself that you can do it.Think about the things that make you happy.Do you have a great smile?A good fashion sense?Remember that the only opinion that really matters is your own, and that you have plenty to offer.People have told you positive things about you.Do your friends tell you how supportive you are?Are you a part of the party?Are you the person who gives up your seat on the bus?People see your value as well.
Step 7: Get the support you need.
It is natural to feel disconnected when you break up with someone.When you reach out to friends and loved ones, you will be reminded that you have a lot of love in your life.Talk to your friends.Share your feelings with them.Ask them about their own break ups.They can give you support and advice.Try to be open and listen to what your friends have to say.Accept the spirit in which it is offered and you don't have to take their advice.You may be dwelling on it too much if you notice that they become reluctant to talk to you about the break up.Ask your friends about their lives as well.Friends and loved ones may go too far.They might try to control your decisions or fix your problems.Bad-mouthing your ex isn't always what you need.Show your appreciation for your loved ones support and let them know that you can handle this on your own.If a friend offers to give your ex a piece of her mind, you could say, "I really appreciate that you want to stand up for me, but I can handle this."Please do not do that.
Step 8: You should cut ties with your ex.
It probably happened for a reason when you broke up.It's important to not contact your ex after a break up.You may feel like you want to contact your ex, but remember the reasons you broke up.Stay away from that phone.Dopamine pathways in the brain are stimulated by romantic love.Your brain treats a break up the same as it does a drug addiction.Don't give in to the craving, or you'll never kick it.Don't text or call your ex.Remove his or her number from your phone and contacts.Don't send messages on social media.It's a real thing.Don't look up your ex on social media.There are pictures of him or her having a good time and being happy.You won't feel better if you keep looking for clues and memories.If you have to, block your ex on your pages.Don't post vague statuses on social media in order to get attention.You can't move toward your future if you focus on the past.
Step 9: Get rid of things you don't remember.
Holding on to photos of the two of you will keep you from healing and moving on.Having them around can make you feel sad, lonely, or angry.If you want to remove photos of your ex from social media accounts, crop him or her out of the photos.Do not visit your favorite date spot or listen to your song if you used to do it together.These things will keep you focused on the relationship you don't have anymore, instead of allowing you to go out and form new relationships.Things aren't always the cause of memories.A memory can be triggered by sounds and smells.Don't try to ignore or deny it if it happens.The smell reminds me of our pizza date nights.I want to move on.If you have things that are too nice to throw out, consider donating them to a charity.You will be making a positive difference in someone else's life if you let go of that t-shirt.
Step 10: It's nice to play.
It is too easy to harm your ex's car, house or tires.You can spread rumors about him or her, but not start a gossip mill.Instead of focusing on how you are going to move past the break up, this behavior will keep you locked in the past.It is possible that it will lose you some friends.About half of people admit to stalking their ex after a break up, from making unwanted phone calls to threatening or even vandalizing their property.This type of behavior makes it harder to recover from a break up.Stalking and destructive behavior is illegal.Is your ex worth an arrest record?Didn't think so.
Step 11: It's a good idea to avoid decisions that are rash.
A lot of people want to get their hair cut or get a tattoo after a break up.We feel like we can be a whole new person if we change our identities.Remember that your brain chemistry is altered during a break up, and your judgement is more than likely impaired right now.Allow some time to pass.If you still want that tattoo after a few months, then go for it.
Step 12: Don't be discouraged, keep busy.
Distraction can help distract you from the pain of your break up.If you keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, you will realize that your life isn't over after all.You have wanted to read that book series but never have.You can join a book club to discuss it with other people.Pick up a new hobby after taking a class.You will be reminded that you are capable of growth and achievement when you learn new skills.Call up people you haven't spoken to in months.You are surrounded by people who love and support you.
Step 13: It's a good time to exercise.
You can use exercise to vent your pain.The chemicals in your brain make you happy.It is possible to fight off anxiety and depression with regular moderate exercise.Try to feel that rush for 30 minutes a day.Think again if your schedule doesn't allow it.You only need to work out in small, 15-minute chunks if you look into high-intensity interval training.You can do it in the morning and then at night.It doesn't have to be all at once.Less noticeable efforts include parking far away from the entrance of where you're going or washing the car by hand.Don't approach exercise as a way to fix yourself.This way of approaching it can lead to body image distortions and other mental health issues.Exercise is good for your body and mind, not because you feel you need to in order to be desirable to others.
Step 14: Enjoy.
If you are still raw after a break up, this may seem impossible.Having fun is good for your brain.It makes you feel more positive and reduces feelings of anger.Go out with your friends.You can see a movie.Go dancing.Sing a song.Let loose a little and do things you enjoy.You will feel better about it.It turns out that laughter is the best medicine.Your body's natural mood elevators are released by it.Laughter increases your ability to tolerate pain.
Step 15: Don't treat yourself.
If it is done correctly, retail therapy can be good for you.When you go shopping after being rejected, you think about how your purchases will fit into your new lifestyle.Replacing a piece of furniture that isn't your style can help you mend.Don't use spending to mask your pain.If you go too far with your credit card, you will end up stressed out when the bills come in.Allow yourself a few treats.
Step 16: Get involved in the community.
The only thing you can think about is how bad things are when you take the focus off yourself.Studies show that showing kindness and compassion to others can boost your own mood and create aripple effect in those around you.You should go out there.Become a better member of the community.It's a great way to get involved.To see how you can make a difference, check with your church, school, or local volunteer organization.A sense of purpose can come from serving or giving.Studies show that if you make a contribution in person, you will feel like you are making a difference.
Step 17: Be positive and focus on that.
They broke up with you, but that doesn't mean you're worthless.Other people would be willing to treat you better than your ex.There are things that make you happy.You should surround yourself with people who care.You will feel better.Success comes from happiness.Positive vibes will lead to bigger and better things if you are happy.Humans can pick up on others feelings and moods.You are more likely to feel positive if you surround yourself with positive people.If you surround yourself with people who are bitter, you are more likely to feel that way.
Step 18: It is possible to forgive.
After the initial phase of shock and grief has passed, you will find yourself in a place where you can let things go and remain cool.The forgetting can begin when you forgive your ex.It is the natural cycle.Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person.One way to start is to remember what you want to forgive.How did it make you feel?Think about yourself and your ex.Take a moment to reflect on the experience.What can you learn from it?Maybe there are things you wouldn't do.There are things you hope the other person does differently.What are you looking for in the future?How will you use this experience to grow?Forgiveness is not an excuse for bad behavior.It doesn't mean you have to reconcile with that person, or that he was right to do what he did.It means letting go of anger.Forgiveness makes you free.You can't control how others act.Your actions and responses are the only thing you can control.You should tell yourself that you forgive the other person for their mistakes.It can take some time for you to feel forgiven.
Step 19: Think ahead, then reflect a little.
It is likely that you are dwelling on the past.Why is that happening?You can not change it.It won't help you in the future.What if you thought about the future?That would make it much easier to think positive.Take some time to reflect on what you have learned from the situation, and then plan for the future.Use this time to think about what you can learn from this relationship in the future.What will you do differently?Make a list of things that didn't work in the relationship.Write down the attributes you would like your new partner to have, what type of person he or she is, physical attributes, and so on.Do you know if you can see a pattern in your past relationships?People fall for people who aren't good for them.This can happen because of how you interacted with your parents as a child.Maybe you have a type that doesn't seem to work out for you.Next time, think about how you can break this pattern.This is a learning experience.Breakups can hurt.They don't like it.If you let them, they can make you a better person.There are things you can learn about yourself.Now that you didn't before, what do you know about yourself?
Step 20: Find out who you are.
In a serious relationship, we become half of the other person instead of a full and unique version of ourselves.Break ups are hard because of this.You can find yourself again once you are free.You can spend time doing what you love if you please.Take some time to figure out who you are and what you want to be.You probably made compromises when you were in this relationship.It's time to listen and not make compromises.If you like anchovies, put them on your pizza.If your ex was an early riser, you should sleep on weekends.It's a good idea to wear clothing your ex doesn't like.Hang art that your ex doesn't like.Listen to the music your ex doesn't like.When this relationship started, all these ways of regaining yourself, rebuilding your sense of self as a separate individual rather than half of the couple fell by the wayside.A friendship?A hobby?What time was taken from another aspect of your life to focus on this person?Do you remember what you gave up?Is it still waiting for you?Probably, odds are.
Step 21: Take yourself out of your comfort zone.
It is easy to stay inside our comfort zones.It is hard to thrive without challenges.This is a good time to try new things and take risks.Your motivation is killed by too much comfort.If you are already feeling a little uneasy after this break up, use the uncertainty to your advantage.It can be used to transform areas in your life that need work.Learning to get out of your comfort zone has other benefits.Taking reasonable, controlled risks makes it easier to accept that vulnerability and the unexpected are just facts of life.It is much easier to handle the next unexpected thing once you accept this.If you want to move to a foreign country without knowing its culture or language, this doesn't mean you should take up extreme sports with no training.Start small and work your way up.This is much-deserved freedom.You can either go to school or live somewhere else.You can take an art class on Friday nights.If you want to pursue a dream, now is the time.
Step 22: Give it a while.
You won't be sad later.It is cliche, but it is a good reason that time heals wounds.Time is needed to get perspective on things.It may be uncomfortable to think of this person as a memory, but later on you will be fond of and happy about it.If the grieving process doesn't seem to go away, you should not be hard on yourself.That's normal.Have faith that it will.You won't realize it when it passes.You will wake up one day and realize that you haven't thought about this person in weeks.It goes under the radar.Just when you think nothing is happening.It does.It always does.