Getting into a fight with a friend is terrible.You might just want to make up for something, or you might be mad at your friend.If you reach out to your friend and listen to what they have to say, you can mend the friendship.
Step 1: Don't argue if it goes too far.
It is easy to say something you don't mean when tempers are high.If your friend isn't in control of your emotions, tell them you'll talk to them later and walk away.Don't get pulled into the argument if your friend says something that hurts your feelings.They're lashing out and letting it go.
Step 2: Take several deep breaths to calm down.
After an argument, the first thing you should do is calm down.It can be hard to calm down when you're angry, but staying angry isn't good for you and it will keep you from reconciling with your friend.You should focus on calming yourself more with each breath.Eating ice cream out of a container is one of the things that can help calm you down.Take a few moments to clear your head.
Step 3: The role you played in the argument should be accepted.
Arguments are not always one-sided.Think about what you did to cause the fight.To get a new point of view on the things you said, imagine the fight from your friend's perspective.Are you feeling stressed out lately?It is possible that this played a role in your behavior.Did your friend try to communicate with you that you didn't like?You may have hurt their feelings.
Step 4: You can try to see the argument from your friend's perspective.
Being able to empathise with someone else will show your friend that you care about them and not just about your own feelings.
Step 5: Don't let your feelings get in the way of being yourself.
Don't post about the argument on social media, gossip about your friend or what caused it.It could make the situation worse than it already is.Word could get back to the friend you are fighting with if you share your feelings with a close friend.
Step 6: If you can, make up within a few days.
An argument hanging in the air could cause resentment.You want to give your friend time to cool off, but try to resolve the fight as soon as possible.For everyone, the amount of time this will take is different.Some friends may need months to recover from an argument, while others may only need 5 minutes.
Step 7: Before you apologize, wait until you're ready.
Your friend will be able to tell that you aren't being sincere if you rush your apology just because you're tired of fighting.When you don't feel angry anymore, or when you care more about getting your friend back, you're ready to apologize.
Step 8: Don't just say sorry because you want your friend to say they're sorry.
Your friend might not want to apologize.If you feel bad for hurting your friend, you should say you're sorry.Try not to expect anything from your friend.You should apologize when you're ready, even if your friend isn't ready.Ask them to listen and explain what you're sorry for.
Step 9: It's a good idea to plan a time to talk to your friend.
It will be easier for your friend to see that your apology is sincere if you have a face-to-face meeting.Call or text your friend and let them know you want to talk.If the time and place you have in mind will work for your friend, ask.If it doesn't work out, try to find something that works out for both of your schedules.If your friend isn't ready to talk, give them a little more time and say something like, "I feel really bad about the things I said and I'd like to apologize in person."A hand-written apology note could be sent with an invitation to talk more in person.
Step 10: Please offer a specific apology.
Don't just say "I'm sorry", think carefully about what you are really apologizing for, and be specific when you say you're sorry.If you hurt your friend's feelings, apologize.Say something like, "I apologize for calling you stupid."If you don't think the argument was your fault, you might say, "I'm sorry that I waited so long to call you after the fight."
Step 11: Give your friend the chance to tell their side of the story.
Let your friend talk after you apologize.When your friend tells you what they think about the fight, try not to be defensive.You might have hurt or upset them that you don't know about.
Step 12: Share your feelings about the argument.
You can discuss what happened, but don't use it as an excuse to talk about the fight itself.Don't use "you" statements that are centered on blame, instead use the "I" statement that focuses on your perspective.You could say something like, "I lost my temper because I was stressed out and I shouldn't have snapped at you, but I should have listened to me."It's okay to explain how you are feeling, but you have to take responsibility for your actions.
Step 13: If your friend says they're sorry, you should accept it.
If you accept your friend's apology, you're ready to get things back to normal.If your friend doesn't apologize, ask yourself if it's more important to have them back or to hear them say they're sorry.
Step 14: If they're still angry, give your friend more time.
It's possible that your friend won't forgive you or even end the argument.Don't let your friend get in the way of the fight.Ask what you can do to make your friend happy.Try to get an answer from them.If they don't say anything, your friend may need more time or they may want to end the friendship.As your friend heals from your argument, try to be patient.They may need more time than you do.
Step 15: End on a good note.
If your friend is still upset, try to end the conversation in a positive way.If you have made up, you should leave with a big hug.If your friend is still upset, say something like, "I still love you and I'll be here if you want to talk."