Everyone has a friend or coworker who complains about how the world is set against him or her.You have to deal with many different people throughout your life.Negative vibes by others can affect your well-being as well.To take care of your own well-being, it's important to avoid it when possible.
Step 1: You don't have to try to cheer them up, solve their problems, or have a solution.
It's good to try to turn things around for them.It is not typically your job to succeed, as you may not be able to.Good boundaries are important in dealing with negative people.The best way to deal with negative people is to remain positive.Advice is rarely given.Wait until the person tells you they want to hear your ideas.There is a good reason for a person to be in a negative state.If a person is in a bad mood, the best way to annoy them is to tell them they should not be.That may be true, but it won't be helpful.Being positive is a good example to follow.Sometimes taking a positive stance is the best thing to do.Being positive in a sea of gloom will have an effect.
Step 2: Provide assistance.
Provide a compassionate ear when you meet someone for the first time.If he or she requests it, try to help.Everyone has a bad day and needs a hand.It is possible to spread positive vibes by being a helpful, compassionate person.If the person harps on the same negative topics, you feel exhausted after socializing with them, and they use a lot of negative words and phrases.It's time to disarm their negative vibes.
Step 3: Don't engage in negative thinking.
It's easy to get sucked into a negative spiral when confronted with a person.Keeping your emotional distance is what choosing not to engage means.Don't argue about why the person should be positive.Trying to argue why a person shouldn't be is the first thing that comes to mind when trying to make people change their minds.This tends not to work.People who are in a bad mood tend to have a lot of defenses to keep them out.You will probably spend a lot of time and effort for nothing, and maybe even get sucked into the dark cloud yourself.Negative people tend to focus on their negatives and ignore the positives.Instead of trying to make them see how they're being negative, try giving noncommittal answers that don't encourage or condemn the negative.This shows active listening."Okay" or "I see" are noncommittal comments.If you follow up with a positive take, try not to contradict the person.It is hard when customers are not appreciated.I don't try to take it personally.
Step 4: Thank you for using appreciative inquiry.
Appreciative inquiry is a process of asking questions to help the person envision a more positive future.If they are complaining about a past event, you can ask questions about the positive aspects of their experience or the future.The questions should lead to a story about what a brighter future would look like and how to achieve it.
Step 5: The conversation should be steered.
If appreciative inquiry doesn't lead to a productive, positive conversation, then turn the conversation to something more innocuous.You could say, "I understand that you're upset about your coworker."That must have been difficult.Tell me more about your plans for this weekend.Did you see that new documentary?
Step 6: Attempt to get rid of negative thoughts.
It only reinforces the negative thoughts.It is associated with higher levels of depression.If the person tends to ruminate, you can lead them to focus on something else.Steering the conversation can include leading the person to a happier topic, but disrupting negative rumination likely means changing the subject entirely.If the person is ruminating over a work interaction, try to bring up his or her favorite TV show, pet, or something else that will result in a more positive conversation.
Step 7: Help the person see how they can take control of the situation.
Negative people are more likely to blame external factors than themselves.People who take a different perspective tend to have better emotional well-being than people who blame their problems on outside factors.The negative person should be supported in developing a plan for handling negative events.Venting about a bad situation isn't bad.During this phase, we often work through problems and come up with a course of action.Try to channel the negative energy in a positive way.You can ask the person what they can do to change the situation at work.
Step 8: The person should be helped to accept negative events.
You can help the person with accepting negative events by talking about how to react to them.A friend was reprimanded at work for coming in late.She complains to you at lunch that she has to take the bus because her boss doesn't want her to.You can say things like, "Well, the reprimand has already been filed, and that won't change, but it will be taken off your record in six months."You can show your boss that you are committed to being on time.You could leave your house a little later if the bus was on time.I'm very sorry that happened.Getting organized in the morning is helpful in getting out on time.Let me know if you want me to do that.
Step 9: The boundaries should be set.
Set boundaries for how you deal with people who are negative.You don't have to deal with someone else's negative vibes.You need to spend time away from them if they're bringing you down too much.If you are a work colleague of the negative person, tell them you have to get back to work.It will feed their negative vibes if it is done nicely.If you live with a family member of the negative person, try to take a break from them as much as possible.Don't answer the phone if you go to a library or coffee shop.
Step 10: The negative people should be identified.
If you want to deal with a negative person in the long term, you need to know whether or not they are negative or just someone who has had a bad day.Negative people become that way because of being constantly disappointed and hurt, and the anger that is associated with these circumstances.Negative people are more likely to blame external factors than themselves.There are people who are negative about themselves, and that can be draining for a listener.
Step 11: Don't preach to the person.
It's important to avoid lecturing or preaching at the person if you have a long-term friendship with them.Even the most positive among us aren't great at accepting criticism, and a negative person is more likely to see it as evidence that you're against her or him rather than taking the feedback constructive.Getting it off your chest won't help the situation.If you have to vent about the negative person, do it to someone you trust in your support group.
Step 12: Act rather than reacting.
One way to help yourself and a negative person is to do nice things for them.An act of acceptance can make a difference if you are rejected from other people.When people are already in a negative mindset, they can take for granted the support they receive.Even if it's not prompted by a negative situation, show the person a positive action in his or her direction.You might have a bigger impact on the person's interactions with you.If youoccasionally make excuses for why you can't see the negative person while he or she is ruminating over a negative situation, try calling the person up to hang out when they're not in a bad mood.
Step 13: Reminders of positive things will help with refocusing.
Tell the person about a fun time you had together.Give him or her a compliment for something they did well.It helps bring a measure of positivity to the person's day by reminding them that someone is invested in them.Good job with that essay.I was impressed by the research that you did.
Step 14: On occasion, do something sweet.
This act can be anything from chores for a day to inviting the person to watch a movie with you.It's a good way to affirm positive vibes to the negative person, without turning it into a lecture on their attitude, which few people take well.
Step 15: Groups are a good place to hang out.
The best way to deal with a negative person is if they are part of your friend circle and you organize group events to diffuse their negative vibes.You have to make sure these situations don't end in the group ganging up on the negative person.This step works best when everyone in the group is sympathetic to the negative person and uses the same strategies to help them.
Step 16: It is up to you to take responsibility for your own happiness.
Human happiness is dependent on the quality of your relationships with other people.You and only you are responsible for your happiness.Gaining control over your emotional response is what being happy in spite of the circumstances is all about.If you're dealing with a negative friend, you can either allow the friend to drain you of your own positive vibes or remind yourself of the positives.Working a muscle is like governing your own emotional response.When dealing with a negative person, you have to practice being in control of your emotions.
Step 17: Determine the person's role in your life.
Sometimes removing a negative person from your life is the best way to deal with them.There are times when they bring you down too much in a relationship.There are pros and cons to removing someone from your life.It might be difficult to do this if the person is part of a circle of friends.It might be hard to do when the person is a superior.Take an honest inventory of what you get from your relationship with the person, and don't rely too much on the way the relationship used to be.
Step 18: The person should not be avoided.
If you can't get rid of the person completely, avoiding them will be your best option.You have to take care of yourself.If the person is draining you of your time and energy, you don't owe them anything.