No matter how close you are, your friend can say or do things that are not nice.It's usually accidental, but it can be worse if the person is your friend.If you learn how to control your reaction and communicate with your friend, you will be able to repair your friendship.
Step 1: Stay composed.
You can control the way you respond if you want to.It is possible to manage what you say and do in a tense moment.Understand your anger.If you want to move away from those feelings, you need to acknowledge how you are feeling.When you act out of anger, you are likely to hurt your friend.It is possible to avoid a heated exchange by being aware of your thoughts and feelings.
Step 2: Leave the situation.
If you can leave the situation temporarily, it may be a good idea to do so.It is possible to clear your head by going for a walk.It can give you time to think about how your friend may have hurt you.Speaking out of anger can lead to arguments.You can't take back what you say in a moment of anger, but you can choose to speak in the moment.Let your friend know that you're going for a walk to calm down.Your friend may think you're leaving abruptly.If it's safe to do so, walk.It's not a good idea to walk near a highway or a place that doesn't have a sidewalk.
Step 3: Use calm methods.
If you need to leave the room for a few minutes, you should use that time to focus on calming strategies.Instead of ruminating on how your friend hurt you, focus on getting calm as soon as possible.Deep breathing can be used.Instead of shallow breathing through your chest, take deep breaths under your rib cage.Take your focus away from the feelings of frustration by thinking about something relaxing."Breathing in will calm me down" or "This will not matter in six months" are some of the calming phrases you can repeat to yourself.
Step 4: Direct address the behavior.
You'll need to sit down with your friend to discuss what happened once you're calm.You should not be aggressive.Speak directly about what happened when you sit down alone.When you sit down with your friend to discuss the incident, make sure you are completely calm.Tell your friend that what he said was not nice.Don't use statements that are absolute.Use statements such as "I felt really insulted when you said that about me" or " I felt like you were being disrespectful by saying that."
Step 5: There are patterns of behavior that are harmful.
It's possible that you didn't notice his damaging behavior in the past.It's very likely that your friend isn't aware of it.Character assassinations, generalizations used to depict or define someone as always being bad/undesirable threats of abandonment are some of the most common types of hurtful behavior.
Step 6: Repeated behavior confronted.
Whether your friend hurts you with actions or words, the result is the same: embarrassment, resentment, and alienation.If you notice any of the patterns of hurt behavior in your friend, let him know that what he did is not okay.Determine your surroundings.If there is a chance that your friend will resort to physical acts of violence or that others will join him against you, do not confront him.You'll feel worse towards the other person if you're in a relationship that's been scarred by repeated incidents of bad behavior.Ask your friend if he values someone like his parents or spiritual leader.He was engaging in his current behavior.Is he going to be embarrassed?Once he's calmed down, point out other times when your friend has engaged in this kind of behavior.Let him know that he needs to change if he wants to stay friends.Tell your friend that you've talked to him about his behavior if it happens again.You need to tell him that he needs to address these issues and that you won't tolerate his behavior.
Step 7: Let your friend respond.
Conflict resolution depends on dialogue.Just as you wouldn't want your friend to continue talking at you without any chance to respond, you cannot just talk about how rude he was.Give your friend time to explain himself, and be open to what he has to say.It's possible that your friend spoke from a place of pain and didn't mean what he said.It's possible that it was a complete misunderstanding, and that your friend didn't intend his words to be taken that way.Let your friend process what you've said, give him his own response, and trust that he will change his behavior going forward.
Step 8: Allow yourself to be compassionate.
As you address your friend's behavior, it is important to remain compassionate.The person is still your friend, and you have a long history together.Try not to hold any anger towards your friend, and give him the benefit of the doubt.Address the comments calmly and compassionately.Many people hurt others because they are hurting or frightened.It's easier to feel bad for someone who hurt you if you keep that in perspective.
Step 9: Discuss if the friendship can continue.
If someone has hurt you, you might want to cut that person out of your life.Experts warn that that may be an extreme reaction to a hurt feelings.Most people find that with a little time and patience, they can move past the hurt.Unless your friend did something terrible like physical violence or emotional abuse, you may want to reconcile.If your friend swears oryells at you, you are at risk of being emotional abused.It's not okay to be emotionally abused by a friend or partner.Stay away from your friend if he threatens you with violence, as he may be dangerous.If you believe that your friend will not be able to correct his behavior, and that he will continue to hurt you without regard for your feelings, you may need to consider ending the friendship.Give this decision time to make a decision.If you're thinking about ending the friendship, you should give yourself a few days to think about it.If you avoid your friend for a few days, you will realize that you value his friendship and want to make up.Before talking to the friend who hurt you, talk to a trusted friend or relative.
Step 10: Take a moment to think about the situation.
You may want to reflect on everything that's happened after you've cooled down and talked to your friend about how he hurt you.Fixating on your feelings doesn't mean replaying the situation in your head.To understand the situation better, you should reflect on everything that's happened between you and your friend.Think about the facts of the situation.Think about what your friend's intentions were, and don't take your feelings into account.Do you remember how you reacted?Did you handle it well?Did you manage your feelings and not escalate the conflict?Think about how the conflict may have affected you.Your sense of self esteem and wellbeing can be included.
Step 11: Let go of hurts.
Making a conscious decision is the first step in letting go of painful feelings.You can either hold on to the feelings of anger and pain, or you can let them go.It doesn't mean ignoring your pain, it just means acknowledging that you were hurt and choosing not to live in the past.You can begin to heal from your hurt when you stop reliving the past and focus on the present.A decision to let go of hurt feelings can give you control.It can help you see that you have a choice.
Step 12: Stop looking at yourself as a victim.
Even after you've let go of anger or resentment, your hurt feelings will linger.It may be reasonable to see yourself as a victim if your friend hurts you.The power that your friend and/or the situation hold over your life is only maintained by that type of mentality.You can maintain your status as a victim by seeing yourself that way.A dominating presence in your life and mind will be your friend or former friend.You will begin to feel better about your situation once you stop defining your life by how you were hurt.This can take time, but it's worth it.
Step 13: Please forgive and move on.
Forgiveness can be difficult if you were hurt in a significant way.It is an important part of moving on from painful experiences and will give you greater mental health and happiness.You don't have to forget if you forgive.It means that you need to stop holding onto feelings of anger and resentment.Forgiveness is the next step after you let go of your hurt and sense of victimhood.Without forgiveness, you won't be able to let go of the pain.Forgiveness also requires you to forgive yourself.If you said something out of anger or had a part in the incident, you need to let that go as well.You will be free to move on once you forgive everyone.You will move past the painful experience with time if you continue the friendship or not.