Do you know if you should leave your addicted partner?
It's difficult when you're in a relationship with a partner who is addicted.The two of you are having a hard time with the person's behavior.You need to take a hard look at your relationship to decide if you should leave.If you believe it can be saved, you can try to work through your issues.Your partner needs to be willing to do the work too.You'll need to get out if they're not.If you are being abused, you need to find a safe way to end the relationship.
Step 1: If your relationship is equitable, check it out.
Both of you should be giving and receiving.People who are addicted are notoriously selfish.They may be completely focused on getting the next fix, and that fix often comes before other people in their lives.Even as you try to support your partner, your emotional needs may fall by the wayside.Look at your daily life.It's not right to do most of the work around the house.If your partner has a serious addiction, they won't be able to pull their weight.
Step 2: Consider the stresses.
If you have a partner who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, you will always be worried about getting a call at 2 am, that your partner has been in an accident and is in jail, or worse.It can take a toll on your health and emotional well-being if you live with that fear and stress.If you have a gambling or porn addiction, your partner may lose their job or drain your finances in pursuit of their addiction.
Step 3: Take a hard look at what it has cost you.
It's hard to admit that your partner is addicted.That is the first step.It is important to look at what it has done to your relationship.If there was a time when your partner was addicted, you should compare your relationship to how it is now.How has it changed?You may be able to tell it's worse.Think about how your partner's addiction has enriched or deteriorated your quality of living.Your life should be better if you have a partner.
Step 4: If you're paying for someone, notice.
When a person is in a relationship with an addiction, they may find themselves trying to make excuses.You may make excuses to your friends and family if you lie for the person.It's not a good sign if you constantly apologize for your partner.
Step 5: You should watch for isolation.
If you are trying to hide your addiction, it can cause you and your partner to pull away from other relationships.Take a moment to consider why you're backing out of social engagements with others that include your partner.You need to evaluate your relationship if it's because of the addiction.Your partner doesn't want to attend any social gatherings, and they do anything they can to get themselves out of them.
Step 6: If the person is trying to get you to use, you should notice.
Your addicted partner might try to get you to join them.They might say it will bring you closer, or they might not give you affection if you don't.If you stay strong, your partner will wear you down with repeated requests to join them.If your partner can't accept your decision not to engage in addiction, it may be a good idea to leave.If one or both of you need to be drunk to feel close, show affection, or discuss the relationship, notice.This can be a sign that you are being influenced by your partner.A healthy partner is unlikely to tolerate their behavior.They might think that getting you to use with them is a way to keep you from leaving the relationship.
Step 7: Think of your kids.
You may think that staying together is the best thing for the kids.If your relationship is so bad that you and your partner can barely stand each other, your kids are going to notice.If you left your partner, think about whether your kids would be better off.
Step 8: Look for signs that someone is willing to change.
If a person works hard to change, they can become sober.If your partner is willing to do the work and stay alert, it may be worth staying.If your partner says they want to change, you should see if they follow through.They may not be ready to get sober if they never back up their words with action.There are other signs that your partner isn't willing to do the work.
Step 9: Your partner should be encouraged to enter rehab.
If your partner is addicted to drugs or alcohol, they may need medical supervision to get sober.A rehabilitation program will give your partner the safety and support they need to overcome their addiction, as well as explore the underlying causes of their addictive behavior.Contact a treatment center if your partner doesn't want to go.They can help you get your partner to seek help.
Step 10: Ask about the counseling that's available.
You can ask your partner to see a counselor with you.If you can, try to find a counselor who specializes in addiction and couples counseling.Professional help will be provided in assessing the situation.
Step 11: If you want to wait, make a decision.
Recovery can take a long time and is not an easy process.It takes an emotional toll on other people.You have a life to live, too, and you may not want to help someone get sober.You may decide it's worth it because of the commitment you've made to the person.
Step 12: Think about separation.
A legal separation is a good way to wake your partner up to the issue.A separation is a way of saying that you need time apart to work out if you should stay together, but it's not a divorce.You can still ask to take some time away from your partner if you're not married.It gives you time to figure out what you want your life to look like, while your partner works on recovery.Contact a divorce lawyer to discuss the legal side of things if you're interested in this option.If you're not married, talk to your partner about the possibility.
Step 13: If you leave, it may help your partner.
You have to fall back on your partner when they are still with you.They can keep their addiction because of your support.You aren't to blame for their addiction.It's important to note that if you withdraw your support, by leaving the person or getting a divorce, that can cause some addicts to hit rock bottom.They may get the help they need.
Step 14: Leave if your partner is abusive.
When a person is under the influence of an addiction, they can become mean and abusive.If your partner physically harms you, you need to leave the relationship.You are also being abused if your partner is violent towards you.It's important to make safety a priority.You and your family can stay in a safe place.If you feel that it is unsafe for your partner to know where you are, you should be more conscious of who you tell.The National Domestic Violence hotline can help you create a safety plan to leave your partner.You can learn how to create a safety plan here: http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety.
Step 15: If you see signs of emotional abuse, you should report it.
Abuse is not always physical.Your partner may not hit or shove you, but they may neglect you.They may belittle you, calling you stupid, or say that no one else will want you.If your partner is mean and belittling to you, that's a sign of emotional abuse, and you should get out of the relationship.Your partner may try to manipulate you as well.It's possible that your partner will try to make you responsible for anything that goes wrong, such as saying, "If you'd done it right, I wouldn't be so mad."Extreme emotions may be taken out on you by your partner when they use.While on a substance your partner may get very angry and direct that anger at you.
Step 16: Your partner may be controlling you.
Someone trying to control you is a sign of abuse.Your partner can limit your access to friends, try to control your medication, or watch what you're doing all the time.They might not want you to go out on your own.It's a sign of abuse if your partner pushes you to stay within unreasonable boundaries.
Step 17: Pay attention to how your partner handles sex.
Both parties should enthusiastically consent to sex.It's illegal if your partner forces sex on you.When your partner manipulates you into having sex even when you don't want to, it gets murkier.It is also abuse if you don't really want to do it.Your partner may say, "Your dinner was terrible."You have to have sex with me to make up for it.There are signs of abuse in your children.If your partner has created an abusive environment for you and your children, you need to leave immediately.They may become withdrawn, have behavioral problems, or appear depressed, just to name a few.