Everyone is prone to having negative thoughts at some point in their lives.Negative thoughts are a normal phenomenon, and about 80% of the thoughts we have have a negative theme.There are many different reasons for your negative thinking, but you can learn to catch them and challenge them out of existence.
Step 1: A thought journal is a good way to keep track of thoughts.
It's important to keep a journal so that you can remember when negative thoughts show up and how you react to them.We have become so accustomed to our negative thoughts that they've become automatic.Taking a moment to record the thought in your journal will give you the distance you need to change these thoughts.If you have a negative thought, write it down.Take note of what was happening when the thought occurred.What were you doing?Who were you with?Where were you?Did anything happen that triggered this thought?You should note your responses in the moment.What did you say in response to this thought?Take a moment to think about these.How strongly do you believe in these thoughts about yourself?
Step 2: You should note when you are negative toward yourself.
Negative thoughts can be about others, but often they're about us.Negative self-evaluations can be caused by negative beliefs about ourselves."I should be better at this" can be a self-evaluation.Negative labeling such as "I'm a loser" can also be seen."I'm always ruining everything" is a negative generalization.These thoughts suggest that you internalize negative beliefs about yourself and accept them as fact.When you experience thoughts like this, take note of them in your journal.Try to give yourself room to think when you write them down.Write down the thought that you had of being a loser.This will help you realize that these thoughts are not facts.
Step 3: Take a look at some problem behaviors.
Negative thoughts about ourselves can lead to negative behaviors.Pay attention to the behaviors that you use to respond to your thoughts.Overcompensating, not studying for a test, and withdrawing from loved ones are some of the common unhelpful behaviors.
Step 4: Take a moment to examine your journal.
Patterns in your negative thoughts reveal core beliefs.You may have a negative core belief about your ability to perform if you frequently see thoughts such as "I should do better at tests" or "Everyone thinks I'm a loser."You are allowing yourself to think in ways that are unreasonable.A lot of damage can be caused by these negative core beliefs.It's important to understand them because they run so deep.It's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound, it won't address the root of the problem.If you believe that you are worthless, you will experience a lot of negative thoughts, such as "I don't deserve anyone to love me," or " I should be a better person."bending over backwards to please a friend is one of the negative behaviors related to this belief.You have to challenge the belief to change.
Step 5: Take some hard questions.
Take some time to ask yourself what rules, assumptions, and patterns you can identify in your thinking once you've been keeping track of your thoughts.What are my standards for myself?What do I think is acceptable?Is my standards different for myself and others?How?What do I expect from myself?How do I expect to be when I'm at school, work, socializing, and having fun?Do you feel anxious or self-doubting at certain times?What are the most difficult situations to deal with on my own?When do I expect bad things?I don't know what my family told me about standards.I don't know if I feel anxiety in some situations more than others.
Step 6: Be careful with what you say and think.
The decision that you make will determine your own thoughts.You can decide what you think.Making a daily effort to consciously program thoughts into your mind as well as learning to be more present is what this means.You are a special, one-of-a-kind person that deserves love and respect from others and from yourself.Making a commitment to get rid of negative thoughts is the first step.Rather than trying to eradicate all negative thinking overnight, it is helpful to choose a particular thought or rule that you want to focus on changing.Negative thoughts about whether you deserve love and friendship could be selected.
Step 7: Remember that thoughts are only thoughts.
Negative thoughts are not facts.They are the result of negative core beliefs that you've adopted over the course of your life.If you remind yourself that your thoughts are not facts and that they don't define you, you will be able to distance yourself from negative thinking.The difference is subtle, for example, instead of saying, "I'm going to flunk the exam", you could say " I think I'll fail this test."
Step 8: You can find the causes of negative thoughts.
There are many theories about why we have negative thoughts.Negative thoughts are a result of evolution in which we are constantly scanning our environment for clues about danger or looking for places of improvement.Negative thoughts can be brought on by anxiety or worry, in which you are thinking about all the things that could go wrong.Negative thinking and pessimism can be learned from your family when you were young.Negative thinking is associated with depression and it is thought that negative thinking leads to depression.Past traumas can cause you to feel shame and doubt.If you feel bad about yourself, think about any troubling conditions or situations.Significant life changes, such as leaving home, changing jobs, or separation from a partner are typical Triggers for many people.You can identify thesetriggers by keeping your journal.
Step 9: You should be aware of the different types of negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts and beliefs can become normal for a lot of us because we assume them to be accurate reflections of reality.To better understand your behavior, try to be aware of some key patterns of thinking that are harmful.There are some types of negative thinking that therapists call cognitive distortions.
Step 10: Informal cognitive behavioral therapy could be tried.
A method of changing thoughts is called cognitive behavioral therapy.If you want to change your negative thoughts, you have to notice them.If you want to see which types of negative thinking it is, stop and think negatively.It's possible to write it down in a journal when you're first learning to alter your thought.You should begin to test the reality of the thought once you have identified the type of negative thinking at work.There is evidence to the contrary.Think about three instances where you did something successfully when you think of "I always mess things up".As an evidence against the limiting thoughts, be aware of the things that you do successfully as you practice CBT.You can experiment with the thought to see if it's true.If you think you will pass out if you give a speech in front of people, try staging a mock speech to prove to yourself that you won't.A survey can be used to test thoughts.Ask them if their interpretation is the same as yours.Some words can make a statement negative.If you said "I should not have done that to my friend", you could say that things would have turned out better if I had not done it.Over time, these CBT-based exercises can help you adjust your thoughts to be more realistic, positive, and proactive.
Step 11: Attack all-or-nothing thinking.
This type of thought occurs when you think that you only have two paths in life.Things can be positive or negative.Flexibility or re-interpretation are not allowed.If you don't get a promotion but are encouraged to apply the next time there's an opening, you might still insist that you're a total failure and worthless.There is nothing in between when you see things as either good or bad.To challenge this type of thinking, ask yourself to think on a scale from 0-10.Things are not likely to be a 0 or a 10.You could say, "My work experience for this promotion was about a 6 of 10."I was not a good fit for this position.I will be a good fit for another position.
Step 12: Fight against the filters.
You can only see the negative side of things when you filter.The results are usually distortions of individuals and situations.You may blow negatives out of proportion.If your boss noted that you made a mistake on a report, you could ignore all the good things she said about your work.Instead, focus on potentially negative situations, such as criticism, as opportunities for growth.You could say, "My boss really liked my work, and the fact that she told me about the mistake shows she respects my ability to correct mistakes."That is a strength.You can try to find one positive thing for each negative thing you notice.You will need to broaden your focus.You may notice that you're diminishing positives, such as saying "I just got lucky" or "That only happened because my boss likes me."You should acknowledge your effort when you work hard.
Step 13: Don't make conclusions.
There is almost no evidence to support the contention when you jump to conclusions.You have not asked the other person for clarification.You have made an assumption and are running with it."My friend didn't respond to the invite I just sent so she must hate me."Do you have any evidence for this assumption?Just like you were a detective, you need to make a list of evidence in support of the assumption.What do you know about the situation?What do you need to know to make an informed decision?
Step 14: You should watch out for emotional reasoning.
You think that how you feel is indicative of something bigger.You don't ask questions of your thoughts because they are true and correct.I feel like a total failure.Ask yourself if there is more evidence about this feeling.What do other people think of you?What do you think about your work or school performance?What evidence can you find to support the feeling?When they feel true, remember that thoughts are not facts.
Step 15: Over generalization can be overcome.
When you generalize, you assume that there will be more bad experiences in the future.You use words like always or never because you base your assumptions on limited evidence.If a first date doesn't go as you hoped, you might think, "I'm never going to find someone to love."Does one date determine the rest of your love life?What is the likelihood of that?
Step 16: All thoughts should be acknowledged, including the negative ones.
Negative thoughts are the same as any other thoughts.They are in your head.They exist.Accepting that your thoughts are wrong doesn't mean you're right.It means acknowledging that you have a negative thought and not judging yourself for it.Trying to control or suppress negative thoughts can make them worse.It is like telling yourself not to think about elephants.Negative thoughts can help you work past them.If you notice the thought that you are unattractive, you have to acknowledge that it exists.
Step 17: Don't forget to cultivate mindfulness.
The principle ofMindfulness is that you need to acknowledge and experience the negative thoughts and emotions before you can let them go.Being aware of the negative self-talk that accompanies shame is not easy.The task is not to give power to the emotions that arise, but to acknowledge and recognize shame.Research shows that therapies based onMindfulness can help reduce negative thoughts and feelings.Try to find a quiet place to practice.If you want to focus on your breathing, sit in a relaxed position.Take the inhales and exhales.Your mind will wander.Take note of what you are feeling when this happens.Don't judge it, just be aware of it.If you can bring attention back to your breath, this is the real work.You are learning how to cope with negative feelings without actually trying to change them by acknowledging but de-centering your thoughts.You are changing your relationship to your thoughts and feelings.The content of your thoughts and emotions change as you do this.
Step 18: It's a good idea to watch out for shoulds.
Shoulds, musts and oughts are often signs of an assumption that you have internalized.When you notice this language, take the time to ask yourself some questions: How does this thought affect my life?You might feel embarrassed if you don't accept social invitations because you think you should be more outgoing.You might push yourself to go out with friends even if you don't feel like it.This could cause problems for you.Where did this thought come from?Rules that we hold for ourselves often lead to thoughts.Even if you are an introvert, your family encouraged you to be very social.This might have led you to believe there was something wrong with being more quiet, which could lead to a negative core belief about yourself, such as "I'm not good enough the way I am."Our negative core beliefs are often based on overly inflexible and rigid thinking that holds us to unreasonable standards.It is possible that it is not reasonable for you to be outgoing and social all the time.It is possible that you need time to yourself.If you don't get the time you need, you may not be enjoyable company.What do I get out of this thought?Do you benefit from this thought or belief?Is it helpful to you?
Step 19: There are flexible alternatives to be found.
Look for more flexible alternatives instead of the old rigid rules.Sometimes, substituting qualified terms such as "it would be nice if," "I'd like to," etc.Making your expectations more reasonable is the first step.For example, instead of saying, "I ought to be more outgoing or I won't have any friends," qualify your language with flexible terms: " Sometimes I will accept invitations from friends, because friendship is important to me."I take time to myself because I am important.I will take care of myself even if my friends don't understand my shyness.
Step 20: Aim for a different view of yourself.
Negative beliefs about yourself are often extreme.They say that they are a failure or a loser.Try to find a balanced view of these self-assessments.If you believe you are a failure because you make mistakes, try to make a more moderate statement about yourself, such as: "I am good at quite a few things, average at Quite a Few Things, and not so good as everyone else."Like every other human on the planet, you have strengths and areas for growth.If you frequently totalize yourself, such as "I'm a loser", you should rephrase this to acknowledge the "grey area": " I make mistakes sometimes."You are not making mistakes.
Step 21: Show yourself kindness.
You can nurture self-compassion and kindness if you feel yourself in danger of ruminating.If you treat yourself as a friend or loved one, you will not engage in negative self-talk.The ability to step back and realize that you would not let a friend engage in this kind of self-destructive thinking is required.Increased life satisfaction, decreased self-criticism, and mental well-being are some of the benefits that have been suggested by research.Positive Affirmations are offered each and every day.This increases the compassion you show for yourself and restores your sense of self-worth.Each day, set aside time to say something.I am a good person.Even if I have done questionable things in the past, I still deserve the best.I value myself and others.When you keep your journal, you can practice compassion.Show yourself some kindness when you are thinking negatively.If you had a negative thought like, "I am so stupid and I will fail this test tomorrow," examine it with kindness.Don't totalize yourself.Everyone makes mistakes.There are things you can do to avoid similar mistakes in the future.You could say, "I am feeling stupid because I didn't study enough for this test."Everyone makes mistakes.I can not change the fact that I did not study more.I can ask a tutor or my teacher for help if I study more than a day in advance.
Step 22: The focus should be on the good.
Think about the good things.It's possible that you aren't giving yourself enough credit for what you've done.Not others, but impress yourself.If you take some time to reflect and look back at your past glories from big to small, you will be able to become more aware of these accomplishments, as well as validation of your place in the world and the value you bring to the people around you.Set a timer for 10 to 20 minutes and grab a notebook or journal.Write a list of your accomplishments and return it when you have more to add.You are becoming a cheerleader.Give yourself credit for what you do.You might say that you have been going to the gym one extra day a week because you aren't getting all the exercise you want.
Step 23: Use positive and hopeful language.
The self-fulfilling prophecy of pessimism can be avoided if you are optimistic.Bad things happen if you expect them.It just might happen if you anticipate a presentation going poorly.Be positive.I can handle this presentation, even though it's going to be a challenge.
Step 24: Don't let the influences of others affect you.
It is possible that your friends and family are giving you the same types of negative messages about you if you have negative thoughts in your head.To let go of shame and move forward, you'll need to minimize toxic individuals who bring you down rather than lift you up.10 pound weights are the negative statements of others.It becomes more difficult to get back up when you are weighed down.People can't define who you are as person.You can't define who you are.There are people who make you feel bad about yourself.You can't control anyone else's behavior, but you can control how you respond to it.If another person is rude, mean, or disrespectful towards you, you should know that he may have his own problems or emotional issues that are making him act against you.If this person is triggering your low self-esteem, it is best to walk away or remove yourself from situations where he is present if you try to confront him about his behavior.
Step 25: Positive social support is what you need to surround yourself.
Most humans benefit from social and emotional support from family, friends, co-workers and others in our social networks.It's helpful for us to discuss our issues with other people.Social support makes us better able to cope with our own problems because it increases our self-esteem.A correlation has been shown between perceived social support and self-esteem.If you feel supported by the people around you, you should be able to cope with stress and negative feelings.There is no one-size-fits-all mentality when it comes to social support.Some people prefer to have a few close friends whom they can turn to, while others cast a wider net and find support among their neighbors or church or religious community.New forms of social support can be found in our modern age.If you're worried about having to talk to someone face-to-face, there are other ways to stay in touch with family and friends.
Step 26: A helping hand can be extended to others.
People who volunteer have higher self-esteem than people who don't.It may seem counter-intuitive, but the science shows that helping others makes us feel better about ourselves.Helping others makes us happy.You will be making a difference in someone's world.Not only will you be happy, but someone else will as well.There are many ways to get involved and make a difference.Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen.There is an offer to coach a children's sports team during the summer.When a friend needs a hand, make them a bunch of meals to freeze.You can volunteer at the shelter.
Step 27: A mental health professional is a good option.
If you feel that your negative thoughts are affecting your daily mental and physical functioning, you should make an appointment with a counselor, psychologist, or other mental health professional.Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most researched types of therapy and has strong evidence of its effectiveness.A therapist can help you improve your self- image.Sometimes people can't fix everything on their own.Therapy has been shown to raise self-esteem and quality of life.A therapist can help you cope with any mental health issues that you may be facing as a result of your shame and low self-esteem, including depression and anxiety.Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or personal failure.