The concepts of independence and ownership are just beginning to be learned by toddlers.Sharing can be very difficult at this point.If you are having trouble with toddlers who fight over toys, don't worry, their behavior is normal and appropriate.As your children grow, you can take certain steps to preserve your sanity and teach your toddlers how to get along well with others.
Step 1: toddlers are working towards independence
One and two year olds are working to master gross motor skills like walking, running, and jumping, while they are also learning to drink from a cup and unfastening buttons.The idea that they are independent beings who can control their own actions goes hand in hand with the new skills.The toddler stage is a difficult one for parents and teachers.While adults have to teach toddlers to respect reasonable limits, toddlers will engage in many behaviors that are not appropriate or acceptable.According to the psychologist who developed the theory of psychosocial development, toddlers are in the middle of resolving a particular developmental crisis.They are trying to resolve the tensions between self confidence and self control.
Step 2: Toddler are very emotional.
During the toddler years, emotions run high.They are excited about all of the new things they are able to do, but at the same time they have to deal with separation from their parents.
Step 3: Fights over toys are a normal part of toddler development.
The concept of independence depends on the basic understanding of "me." Once toddlers understand the distinction between themselves and others, they also begin to focus on ownership: "mine" as opposed to "not mine."Toddler's perceived ownership of items is threatened by sharing.
Step 4: Explain to your kids how to share.
Sharing is temporary, and one child may take a turn with his or her toy, but eventually it will be returned.Sharing doesn't take away ownership.To make this explicit for toddlers is fine.Say, that is your truck.You can allow someone else to play with your truck, but it is still yours.
Step 5: Practice sharing.
Toddler can practice sharing with you before you expect them to.Ask toddlers to give you their favorite toys.Allow them to be patient.Praise them for sharing after they return their toys.It will help toddlers distinguish between taking and borrowing.
Step 6: Positive aspects of sharing are emphasized.
Sharing a toy is kind and generous.Explain that other children will also share their toys.Everyone will be able to play with new items.
Step 7: Toddler situations that involve sharing should be prepared in advance.
Discuss what will be expected of children during play dates and preschool.Let them know that they will be playing with toys.
Step 8: The importance of friendship is taught.
Explain what friendship is and teach toddlers how to play together without fighting.
Step 9: Be aware of your toddlers' behavior.
It's important to know what a toddler is struggling with.Does the toddler grab toys away from other children, or does he or she struggle with taking toys?As best they can, teach toddlers to deal with these issues.
Step 10: You should lead by example.
Toddler can see you sharing your possessions.If they want to play with something of yours, let them.You will get the item back soon if you emphasize the fact that sharing is temporary.
Step 11: Don't be in situations that are unnecessarily stressed.
You should be able to determine which issues cause trouble for particular toddlers by observing situations involving sharing.Is a child more protective of a toy?It's a good idea to let him or her put that toy away during a play date.
Step 12: You should choose your play time carefully.
When toddlers are rested and fed, plan to let them play together.Toddler are guaranteed to fight over toys.Limit play time to one to two hours for toddlers, anything longer is expecting too much from a young child.
Step 13: Clear rules.
It's best to have clear, simple rules when toddlers are playing.If toys are not meant to be shared, they should be thrown away.All remaining toys should be shared.Set a timer for popular toys.
Step 14: You can offer alternatives.
When a child has to give up his or her favorite toy, offer interesting replacements.A toddler may be too distracted to argue about the original toy if you give him or her something fun to do.It's best to have lots of choices.There are multiple alternatives for each toddler.
Step 15: Talk about sharing with toddlers.
Toddler should be taught to ask for their toys instead of grabbing them.It's a good idea to model appropriate language for toddlers.
Step 16: Cooperative play is encouraged.
If toddlers play a game that requires more than one person, they will be less likely to fight.
Step 17: Don't get involved immediately.
It's tempting to step in when squabbles break out.It's better to give toddlers the chance to learn.They can try to resolve the conflict on their own.
Step 18: Remember the three Cs.
There is compassion, conviction, and consequences.If the toddlers can't resolve the conflict on their own, try to keep in mind the three basic concepts.Understand what toddlers are going through.The fact that their actions have consequences should be emphasized.
Step 19: There is control grabbing.
When toddlers fight over toys, it's best to separate them and give them time to cool down.They should not be allowed to take toys back and forth.Wait until everyone is calm, and then try to piece together what happened, not so much to determine who is guilty but to find an acceptable solution to the problem.Children can be separated by holding their hands firmly and leading them to separate areas.Ask them to obey, and insist that they stay put.Before you allow them to leave their corners, make sure everyone is calm.
Step 20: The object of the dispute should be removed.
If you can't find a solution or the toddlers are too upset to discuss the issue, remove the toy.Put it out of their reach by taking it as gently and politely as possible.Ignore crying or screaming that results.
Step 21: Don't make decisions with toddlers.
You should give reasons for your actions when you resolve arguments.Allow toddlers to express themselves.They should be involved in the decision-making process.
Step 22: Affirm toddlers' feelings.
It's best to approach fights over toys with understanding and compassion.Let toddlers know that their feelings are valid.I know it makes you sad and angry, and that's okay.Being sad and angry is fine.You need to be good friends with Johnny.
Step 23: Before you teach a lesson, deal with your emotions.
If one or more of the toddlers is very upset, you need to take some time to calm them down and teach them a lesson about sharing.Children will get more upset if you scold or lecture them.
Step 24: Don't take sides.
Don't pay much attention to which child started the argument.It's not going to help to discuss a toddler who is clearly wrong.Try to find a solution.
Step 25: Don't label children.
If a toddler is the cause of fights over toys, it doesn't help to label him or her as a bully.They might affect their self esteem and confidence.If you call a child a bully, it will only lead to more of the behavior that you are trying to stop.
Step 26: Comply with consequences.
If you have to, you can try to enforce ten to fifteen minutes of quiet time by placing toddlers in their cribs.
Step 27: Praise toddlers when they comply.
Praise when toddlers are calm and cooperative again.They have learned to calm themselves down and work together.