It can be difficult to get your boyfriend to open up.The key is to build trust and approach him in a thoughtful and kind way.Show your trustworthiness by respecting what he tells you and keeping his personal business private, and show your genuine interest in the topic you want to know about.To make your relationship stronger and to lay the groundwork for openness, you will need to follow these steps.
Step 1: It's important to build a strong relationship.
When you're in an equal partnership, openness comes naturally.Even in the best relationships, some people have trouble opening up about what makes them tick or what upsets them, so you may still need to work on getting him to open up gradually over time.A strong foundation will help.
Step 2: You have to work on honesty and emotional interactions.
If you want to lead by example in your relationship, be open and honest with him, and share your feelings calmly.Your boyfriend may think that opening up about something upsetting will lead to a fight.He may be reassured that he can open up without drama if you show him that you can handle the curve balls with grace and a cool head.
Step 3: Show your boyfriend that you can trust him.
It can be difficult in the early stages of a relationship.Building trust takes time, but you can help the process by being loyal and dedicated to him, not sharing any private information you already know about him with others, and letting him get to know your friends/colleagues and see you interact with them.He probably won't trust you with anything personal if you have betrayed his trust before.
Step 4: It's a good idea to avoid manipulation.
It is possible to trick your boyfriend into sharing his feelings with you.This doesn't do anything to make your relationship stronger; in fact, it hurts your long-term trust.You will see a big impact if you stay genuine with him.
Step 5: It's a good time to talk.
Pick a calm time, don't try to get him to open up during a fight or disagreement, and you may not like what he has to say when he does.When you're alone, talk about your feelings and experiences in a calm moment.
Step 6: You should be close to him.
Physical touch can be a strong reminder of the bond between you.The focus isn't on making it sexy, which can distract or even be exploitative.Use physical proximity to reflect the warmth between you and provide some comfort during a difficult conversation.
Step 7: The conversation should be guided but not manipulated.
If you want your boyfriend to talk about something, you can lead the conversation.You want to not overwhelm him.If you want to know more about a piece of information, link the topic to it.Ask him to tell you something in return if you tell him something personal about yourself.He is likely to tell you that he trusts you, in which case try to comfort him and let it go for a while and try again soon.You could say things like, "I have always wondered why, I would really like to know..." or " I know you find it hard to talk about but maybe if you shared it with me it would help."I love you and want to help you, but you shut me out of your personal life.Please let me help you..."
Step 8: Don't make him feel uncomfortable.
If he clams up or tells you that he doesn't want to talk about it, you should respect his wishes.Accept that this is not the right time for him and don't push the topic further.Allow him to tell you in time.The key is to be kind and patient.
Step 9: A meaningful conversation can be had.
Make it a meaningful moment if your boyfriend opens up.The goal is to have an honest and open talk about the topic at hand, not just to dig into his secrets.Don't stop talking if he reveals something you were hoping to know.Allow him to speak to you and show your interest in what he has to say.If he is uncomfortable talking about something, don't talk to him about it unless he wants to.Talk to him and make sure he knows what he's saying is good or bad.
Step 10: Good questions can be asked.
You want to avoid a long list of interview-style questions since opening up can be uncomfortable.Don't question him.Listen to his answers and show interest.It's okay to ask questions about how events turned out.He seems to want to keep talking.
Step 11: It can be an ongoing dialogue.
As soon as this particular conversation is over, the openness doesn't have to stop.Look for more opportunities in the future to talk about the topic if you feel he has more to share.Encourage him to be open about the same topic in the future, and be supportive of what he shares.
Step 12: If he tells anyone, do not abuse his trust.
Let him know that he was right to trust you.Don't tell your friends anything he has asked you to keep private.