If you have been invited to be a guest at the birth of a child, here are some helpful steps to follow to make sure you and the mother are as comfortable as possible.
Step 1: Ask about the guest list.
If there will be other people present at the birth, it's a good idea to ask the mother who she has invited.If she has invited her children, ask if you would like to watch them or take care of them, so that she doesn't worry about monitoring them.If someone with whom you do not get along well has been invited, consider whether you should attend the birth, as it may be uncomfortable for the mother and other guests.
Step 2: She expects you to behave.
Some women prefer to have you stand back and stay quiet, while others want you to encourage them.It is a good idea to have an idea of what the mother expects you to do before the baby is born.
Step 3: Don't assume the invitation is extended to your family or significant other.
If you are close friends with the mother, do not assume that she included an invitation for your spouse or children to attend.Do not assume that you can invite your parents or additional guests without the mother's permission if you are the partner of the woman delivering.During or after birth, she may resent you for doing that.
Step 4: The mother might want to attend a childbirth preparation class.
If you are the partner or principle guest of the mother, you should be prepared to assist her during delivery with helpful tips, reminders and encouragement.A childbirth preparation class will teach you the stages of delivery, options for pain management, breathing techniques, assistance tips, and even what to bring with you to the delivery.
Step 5: Understand the biology of birth.
It is possible to learn how labor and delivery work if you attend the delivery.Knowing the basics of what the mother is going through and how labor is expected to progress can help you calm her and prepare you for the sight of blood.
Step 6: Prepare ideas of what to do during the waiting period.
As a guest, you may wish to think of ways to keep the mother occupied during labor and delivery.She is waiting to begin delivery, so she should write down a list of things to do while she is there.Suggestions include talking about future vacations, taking a walk, giving her a massage, listening to music, sitting on an exercise ball, and other low-stress activities.
Step 7: The focus is on the mother.
Think of some nice things you can do to make the mother feel better.If you are taking a break to get a snack or drink, ask if there is anything you can bring.Offer to get some comfort items from a nurse.Don't complain about feeling tired, bored, or nervous.It is unlikely that complaining about your own unhappiness will improve the mother's experience.Purchase a gift in advance or bring flowers to the hospital to show your support for the mother.
Step 8: The mother may change her mind.
Many women find labor and delivery upsetting.If the mother is no longer comfortable with your presence, offer to leave for a moment or give her some privacy.If the mother wants you to leave, remember that she is just overwhelmed and that it is not a reflection of your relationship with her.She may just want a few minutes without her guests after which you can come back.