Being "genuine" in a world full of imitations seems a little off the beaten track.Is it worth it to see what the world thinks of you?Here's how to find you.
Step 1: It's a good idea to think about who you really are.
You don't have to put on a facade before you walk into a group of people.If you want to meditate, get alone.Who are you when you are alone?If you like it, try meditating.Better mental clarity can be achieved by reducing stress levels.You may be able to see yourself in a clearer way.
Step 2: Society says what is acceptable.
We see images of things that are okay.It doesn't really exist, because it changes constantly.You have to give up trying to live up to a standard.Being is more important than being a prep or a jock.Society defines us by labels.The Coach purse says "Coach" on it, so no more carrying it.You need a better reason.Throw away your desire to fit in with any group or class.When you have established your true identity, they will call.
Step 3: A list of truths about yourself.
Sometimes we don't know who we are because we're bombarded with what society expects of us.We spend a lot of time trying to fit in with someone else's idea of who we should be, and we bury ourselves in layers of fluff and masks.Write down what you feel like.It could be anything, so long as it's true.If you have a list of a dozen or so things, post it somewhere you'll run into it often.You can see if your behavior is in line with who you really are when you make a comment or review your day.Chances are you will come up with something that isn't true to you.
Step 4: Think about your family history.
There is no escaping the influence our history has on who we are, even if we don't always like where we come from.Many people spend a lot of time and effort escaping their past, such as changing the spelling of their names to sound more politically correct, or giving other people too much power to change them.Where are you from?Your parents and grandparents shaped you.Think about your upbringing.What is the most vivid recollection you have of it?How different was it than most people's?It's your location.What did that do to you?What hobbies do you like to do?You like and dislike.How many of them are in your family?Do you have many because of your family?
Step 5: You should fire your friends.
Humans strive to be surrounded by people even when they don't want to.To rediscover you that is happy and natural, you have to cut out the people that leave you exhausted after interacting with them.There is only one thing to it.You'll know who they are if you think about it for 30 seconds.There are people in the world that are not good for us.It's difficult to cut them out when we feel like we're being cruel.It is important not to view this behavior as selfish.No one will act in your best interest if you don't.You're being logical and not being selfish.Unless they fit the real you, don't pay attention to the latest trends.Why would you want to change identities so quickly?You should look at your own style and preferences.If you wear a T-shirt and jeans, you are a fan.
Step 6: Don't play the games now.
It's easy to think we're honest and sincere, but in order to function tactfully and appropriately with others, we have inserted mind games into everyday interactions.We tell Gina about how people actually like her, how we hint at asking for something from a friend because we think it's bad manners to ask for too many favors, and so on.We're who people think we should be.I have to cut that out.People-pleasing and avoidance are what the two main sticklers are.It describes you if you find yourself sacrificing your happiness to please others.If you don't do things simply because they'd be frowned upon, that's the second.The voices in our heads aren't us, they're a part of us that's very much taught.
Step 7: Determine what it means to be genuine.
Considering the media's influence on us all, this may not be as easy as it seems.Few people have absolute resistance to the persuasive influence of advertisers, the media, and peer pressure to conform.Decide what genuine means to you.You have the option to choose.Do you mean to pursue your own fashion?Does it mean saying something that crosses your mind?Does it mean showing your emotions?Does it mean not paying attention to what's popular?What do you think about this concept?One of the most attractive qualities is genuineness.
Step 8: Spend time with people who charge you.
This shouldn't be hard if you've got rid of your toxic friends.Who do you want to hang out with?Who makes you feel good?Who is the person you are after?We have different versions of ourselves.Some are worse than others because they can't all be the same.To make that "best you" a constant, the idea is to bring out the best you.It's obvious that the best you can be is genuine.If you want to be genuine, you should spend time with people who have less than you.
Step 9: Don't sleep! Wake up!
Do you recall the phrase "stop and smell the roses"?Like that.A lot of us go around in technology, barely doing what we call living.We don't know how we come off, what we actually feel, etc.Wake up!Don't forget to pay attention to the world around you.Look around your environment.Take note of 4 things you didn't notice before.It's crazy how your mind sifts out stimuli.It's hard to realize that we've been playing those games since we were babies, even though we talked about it.Start watching other people if it would help.They are placating others.How do they say things?How do they move their bodies?You can wake yourself up if you notice that other people don't say or do what they want.
Step 10: You should get vulnerable.
You are bound to feel vulnerable when you abandon mind games and socially acceptable behavior.You won't be using the same defense mechanisms anymore.It's scary, man.It will go away if you know that it's a good thing.You have to get used to showing how you really feel.There is a time and place for everything.It's best to hold back the tears and finish the test if you're sitting in chemistry class and get a text from your mom yelling at you.Know what your priorities are here.If you're upset, don't chew her out.Being vulnerable doesn't mean jumping to conclusions.Rationality is still important.
Step 11: Tell the truth.
This is a tough one.You have to be honest, but how do you not cause pain?Doctors are told not to berate obese patients for their weight, and to take a more respectful approach to health.There is a balance of honesty and compassion.The classic example is, "Do I look fat in this?""Yep," instead of saying it.Try something like, "I don't like how it tugs at your waist."It's not a good look, but you're placing the focus on the outfit instead of the person.If you compliment someone's actions, they don't think you hate them.I'm surprised that a thoughtful and educated person like you would say something like that.
Step 12: You should know your impact.
It's easy to forget that even the smallest mood can have repercussions.A friend is going through a hard time when we're busy and we give them the brush-off.We flirt with someone who has a crush on us.The impact of your genuineness will be felt by those around you.A positive ripple effect can be started if you use your powers for good.Are you aware of the person who walks into a room and it lights up?Their passion and being seem to be contagious.That is being genuine.That's all of them.That stuff is powerful.Your impact can be the same.
Step 13: Look at how you want to look.
The apocalypse has happened.Everyone is gone.You are able to do what you please in a city that has been abandoned.Every door is open to you.Where do you shop?What do you see when you look in the mirror?That's the real you, minus the angst and the gun-wielding.Some people think they're pretty.They like to do their hair and wear nice clothes.It's fine.Others do not.That is also fine.More power to you if you want to wear overalls and not comb your hair.More power to you if you want to carry the Coach purse and buy expensive make-up.Make sure you're doing it for yourself.
Step 14: Get it.
Many of us are presenting ourselves instead of who we are.We make sure that we are macho or ladylike.It's time to drop it!Put your true self out there.You should feel something if you do.We're guilty of trying to look cool.That's not legit.Discuss how you spent the afternoon playing bridge with grandma.You have nothing to hide.It's just exhausting work.
Step 15: You need to connect with one person at a time.
It's tempting to look over the entire surface of the audience when you're speaking.And a lot do.Making eye contact with one person at a time draws them in fully.Imagine Barack Obama staring at you.It was Dang.He can see you.He is real.He's making direct contact instead of going over motions.You should apply the same sentiment to your life.If you're in a group of people, concentrate on one at a time.When you're trying to accommodate more than one person, you can't fully appreciate a person and extend your true self.Not only will you be able to be genuine, but that other person will be left spellbound by your social skills.Become a good listener and understand people's feelings.You can use these skills to connect with people in a more genuine way.
Step 16: Say what you mean and mean it.
Flattering, gossiping, or otherwise saying something to fit in is just as disingenuous as it gets.Even if we have good intentions, we're all guilty of this at one time or another.The only thing you can do is be aware of your desires and behaviors and address them honestly.There are going to be people who don't like it.Some people will be put off by you telling it like it is.It's their beef to have if you're not cruel about it.Most people will appreciate your honesty.Few people can get real.
Step 17: The smile is natural.
To fit a situation, don't paste on a camouflage smile.The world should see all of the emotions if you are going to show the world the real you.It will matter more when you do.The sentiment is the same for activities.Do not do it if you don't want to.Don't drink if you do not feel like drinking.Don't go to the club if you do not want to.If you want to do something that the group doesn't like, so be it.It's better to be alone or with a different group of friends.
Step 18: The power pose can be lost.
It's tempting to assert our power when we're talking to others.We close our bodies and make people come to us.The act should be dropped.That's another one of those games.When we're aiming to be genuine, we don't need to worry about our image or pride.You should be warm when you meet someone.Unless they have a gun pointed at your head, they are not a threat to you.Square shoulders won't get you anywhere if that's the case.It's a good thing to show confidence.There is a line between natural and confidence that is displayed.Your confidence is right where it should be if you feel completely relaxed.
Step 19: Don't make it a competition.
The tape measure isn't needed when you're talking to someone.Don't bite when someone starts dropping names.This is a game they are playing that is indicative of their low self-esteem.It was a shame.Resist the urge to tell a story about how you chilled with a celebrity at the bus stop.We all try to make ourselves look good when we meet people.We bomb by being full of ourselves, trying too hard, or being a bit of a braggart.That is not how interaction works.Next time someone says, "Yeah, I just got a promotion," just congratulate them and move on.That's all you need to do.
Step 20: Don't force it.
Sometimes we don't jive with people.We're incapable of being genuine with them because they seem to be faking it.Don't force it if you run into it.It's fine if that person isn't meant to be in your life right now.Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely not right now.
Step 21: Give genuine praise.
Chances are, if you were to die tomorrow, you would have regretted not telling someone how much you cared for them.It would be a shame to live that way.Let people know how much you appreciate them.You'll get it back in return.If you find yourself asking for things for a different purpose than you actually need, that's a sign that your behavior isn't genuine.Give it time.You might need to get to know the other person first.
Step 22: Don't forget to reflect on you.
Take a moment to think about how you've changed your actions with people and the world at large.What do you have trouble with?Is it possible that what you see is already changing?Think about how many times you were genuine today and how much you could've improved.What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?Make a list of genuine people.It's difficult to see our behavior for what it really is.At the beginning of the day, look in the mirror.This is what every single one of them will see, so resolve to let them see you as you really are.It will feel like you're at home when you get it.
Step 23: When you have to be more tactful.
It is possible that bluntness can hurt.Handle your feelings with care, because some people are a little more fragile than others.Even if they did something wrong, you still appreciate them and think they're great.Don't be afraid to be kind when in doubt.Genuine words can be kind.I was looking forward to them and I'm disappointed that our plans fell through.I hope we can still have fun together.