It's not a good way to parent if you say "Do as I say, not asI do."Children model their behavior on their parents.Children will imitate everything their adult caregivers do.Good behavior as well as how to be good people can be learned from interacting with your children.
Step 1: Good manners can be modeled.
You can use the words you want your child to use.Allow your child to hear you say things like "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" when you interact with them.This is more effective than asking your child to say the magic word in order to get something.Listen to your own language with your children.They will learn to speak that way if you use swear words.
Step 2: You should apologize when you make a mistake.
It is important for your child to see you apologize.Apology to your child shows your love and respect for her.If your child makes a mess in a restaurant or cafe, let the manager know and apologize.Your child will watch you take responsibility for the situation and respectfully interact with another adult.
Step 3: Ask your child to help with daily tasks.
Children who take on tasks and jobs around the house develop a sense of independence.By allowing your child to lend a helping hand, you help them develop socially as they watch your interactions with others and get to practice interacting with strangers in a safe setting.Failing at a chore can be useful.toddlers can do simple jobsThey can put dirty clothes in a hamper.Younger children love to count and sort.Ask your five-year-old to count out apples at the store or match socks in the laundry.
Step 4: Pick your priorities.
To be a good parent and role model, you don't have to be perfect.What qualities do you want your child to have?Look for ways to model those qualitiesIf generosity is important to you, you might say out loud: "I'm going to give the person behind us our extra train ticket."Sharing with others is nice.
Step 5: It's obvious.
Make sure that you model good behavior in a way that your child can easily see.When the children aren't looking, hug your partner and read after he/she has gone to bed.
Step 6: Good self-care can be practiced.
Children are affected by their parents' stress levels.Make time for exercise, friends and your partner to model good stress management for your child.You should notice how you talk about yourself to your children.Instead of saying, "I feel fat and ugly in this sweater, I don't like wearing that sweater", you could say.
Step 7: The feelings that parenting evokes for you should be addressed.
Having a child reawakens complex feelings left over from the parent's own childhood.When you are struggling with self-critical attitudes, this can lead you to be critical of your child.Don't blame yourself for the reactions, but talk about them with another adult, whether a partner, a friend or a counselor.
Step 8: Look at healthy eating and drinking.
Don't insist that your child eat his/her vegetables when he/she is hungry.Try to make healthy meals that you can share.In front of your children, it is fine to drink in moderation.It helps them to see that an adult has a good relationship with alcohol.Explain that alcohol is not for children.If drinking is interfering with your daily life, get help.Don't smoke around your children.There are serious health consequences of second-hand smoke.
Step 9: Don't let your goals get in the way of your own.
Your child will learn how to live a good life by watching you and your priorities.You don't have to sacrifice yourself for your child or live your life through them.Make time for a hobby or sport that you care about.Your child will benefit from seeing you prioritize.He/she will benefit from seeing you maintain adult friendship through an activity you enjoy.
Step 10: Praise good behavior and positive changes.
Even small improvements can be seen.If your toddler gets angry but doesn't hit his sister, point that out.You can use labeled praise to let your child know what he/she is doing right.Instead of saying, "You're being good today!", you could say "I really like how you helped your little brother/sister out just now."
Step 11: Good behavior can be a result of role play.
You and your child will play roles in an imaginary problem area.Prepare the situation for role play.Praise as well as feedback.When faced with frustrating situations, this technique helps your child to think ahead.You might say to a younger child, "Let's pretend I'm your friend, but I won't let you play with any of my toys."A more elaborate role play is possible with an older child.You can describe a scenario in which the child wants to share something bad happened at school, but you are not home from work yet.Ask your child how he/she would feel, and invite him/her to think about what they might do, such as drawing or writing about the incident.Once you get home, act out the imaginary conversation you might have.
Step 12: Don't react to your child's bad behavior.
Anger and emotional reactions can be managed.This shows healthy behavior in addition to preventing a bad situation.You must not take your child's words personally if they are rude or sarcastic.If you want to understand why they are acting badly, focus on their behavior.This is not an emergency.You have plenty of time to deal with the situation after your emotions triggered a flight-or-fight response.Take a break and say, "I'll be back in a minute, once I'm calmer."You will be able to handle the situation if you remind yourself that you are a good parent.
Step 13: Don't engage in physical violence.
Conflict resolution can be model respectful.Children who are hit or spanked will learn that violence can be used to solve problems.You are at risk of losing control of yourself if you hit your child.Even if physical violence stops a bad behavior in the short term, it damages your relationship with your child and can cause mental and emotional problems later on.