Increased feelings of sadness and/or anger can be a result of a break-up.Loss of a cherished relationship can also include the loss of certain relationship benefits such as social support, love, and sexual intimacy with another.The end of a relationship can cause lowered self-esteem and the possibility of depression, but it can also provide an excellent opportunity for reflection, self improvement, and most importantly, a learning experience that may benefit your future relationships.
Step 1: Know when to ask for assistance.
It's important to know how to recognize suicidal behaviors in yourself and others.If you're thinking about suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline can connect you with the nearest suicide prevention and mental health service providers.
Step 2: Understand your relationship.
It is helpful to reflect on the different dimensions of your relationship in order to understand why it did not work out.Maybe the relationship wasn't right for you from the beginning.Maybe you didn't want the same things out of life as your partner, or maybe there were continuing deficiencies in the relationship.
Step 3: What is a healthy romantic relationship?
Many people choose to break up because they can't have a good relationship.In order for a relationship to be completely fulfilling for both partners, there are certain elements that must be maintained.
Step 4: Remember the disagreements.
If you want to understand your break up, you need to know if you and your partner regularly disagreed in any of the major relationship areas.
Step 5: You should mourn your relationship.
Going through a break up will require mourning.Any kind of loss is a reaction to grief.It is difficult to go through a break-up because it may represent the loss of both the relationship and any shared hopes and commitments.It is normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, confused, or anxious when faced with a new uncertain future.
Step 6: Allow yourself to process emotions in an appropriate way.
Do not allow painful feelings to linger, but do not ignore them either.You can give yourself permission to function at a less optimal level for a period of time if you feel that you aren't as productive at work or that it's difficult to pay attention to others.Take the time to acknowledge your feelings and allow them to process completely.You will feel less alone with your pain if you talk to others about your feelings.Don't forget to remind yourself that moving on is the ultimate goal, and that you still have a hopeful future with new hopes and dreams that will replace your old ones.
Step 7: Take a break from your inner critic.
It is possible that your inner voice is being too critical of your role in the break-up.It is possible to make mistakes without being self-deprecating.Stop and write down the negative thoughts that your inner voice is saying about you.Re-writing the thought as something constructive is how to cross it out.For example, "I was too clingy" should be replaced with " I will work on being more trusting and confident."
Step 8: You can use a journal to understand your relationship.
Writing about a break-up has been shown to help people come to terms with it.It is possible to better understand why the relationship didn't work out if you write a narrative about it.It can help you understand what you want out of a relationship.
Step 9: You should evaluate while you journal.
The key to effective break-up journaling is to evaluate the experience of the break up in order to retell it.It is important that you include a complete narrative structure.This will help you organize the events into a manageable format, which will allow you to see the break up as a result of identifiable causes.Journaling while using this structure may help you to achieve a sense of closure and moving on with life, increase your feelings of control over your own recovery from the break up, and improve your self-esteem once you are able to comprehend the events that occurred.
Step 10: Start your journal.
Now that you know why you keep a journal, it's time to start it.If you prefer to write on paper, you can either journal on the computer or by hand.
Step 11: The events of your relationship should be arranged in chronological order.
In the order in which they happened, lay out everything that happened in your relationship.Make sure your narrative is coherent.If you want to understand why the relationship didn't work out, your story needs to be clear and understandable.
Step 12: Cause and effect can be identified.
The causes and consequences of your narrative should be ordered.Provide examples of the reasons behind your break up.This will help you understand the relationship ending.
Step 13: Think of your partner as a character in a story.
Your key characters will relate to the causes and consequences of events that occurred in your relationship.Make sense of each character's feelings and attitudes in relation to the events and try to draw meaning from each relationship event.
Step 14: What do you want from a relationship?
Write down what you consider to be a perfect relationship in a different part of your journal.Think about what you would like to get in return for a relationship and be specific.
Step 15: The narrative of your break up should be compared to what you want in a future relationship.
Was your relationship fulfilling and healthy?Were there disagreements about major areas of your relationship?What do you want your relationships to be like in the future?How would you like them to be the same?
Step 16: Discuss your break up.
Journaling about your break up can give you control over the relationship events.This may help boost your self-esteem by giving you a more complete sense of your own understanding of the break-up.
Step 17: Seek opportunities that will make you successful.
What are you good at?Is there a loved one you can help?It will help you feel accepted and supported if you participate in activities where you can succeed.If you can take part in activities that develop and utilize your strengths, your overall self-esteem can be greatly boosted, resulting in higher emotional, social, and physical well-being.
Step 18: Donate your time to a charitable organization.
This activity takes your mind off of your break-up, it makes you feel good about yourself, and it helps others.You can make the experience even more rewarding by recruiting a close friend or two to volunteer.
Step 19: Get lots of exercise.
People feel happier when they exercise regularly.Increased energy and motivation will make you feel better.The added benefit of exercise is that it will help you be in better physical shape, which will make your clothes fit more comfortably and give you the added boost of self-confidence that often accompanies losing weight.To be effective, your exercise routine doesn't have to be hard or involve a gym membership.You can either walk outside for 30 minutes a day or find a class that interests you such as dance, yoga, or stand-up paddle boarding.
Step 20: You should eat healthy foods.
It is possible to feel healthier and look better by choosing foods that are high in fiber and low in sugar.Not a good cook?You can explore the new freedom of following only your own food preferences by taking a cooking class.A balanced diet includes a large portion of fruits and vegetables, a small amount of lean meat, and some grains and dairy.
Step 21: Take time to look your best.
It is helpful to maintain a clean and well-kept appearance.It is very common for people to change their look after a long relationship ends.To look presentable, you don't have to change your whole style.While you are on the road to recovery, leave the sweatpants at home and get dressed every day, including real shoes.
Step 22: You should surround yourself with a support network.
If you surround yourself with people who care about you and listen to you, you can get over your break-up and improve your self-esteem.