It is normal for sexual relationships to have differing libidos.Some partners have different desires as the relationship progresses, while others do not.Mismatched libidos don't mean the end of your relationship.Both partners can reach a satisfying compromise if they communicate honestly and engage in different forms of physical intimacy.
Step 1: Discuss your expectations.
It doesn't have to interfere with your relationship if you have differing libidos.It requires a lot of open, honest communication.Discuss with your partners what they want in terms of sex.How often would you prefer to have sex?What do you consider to be sexually intimate?When would a lack of sex become a deal-breaker?Do you value anything other than sex in our relationship?
Step 2: What is important for you during sex?
There are different goals, energy levels, and understandings of sex that can cause incompatible libidos.Discuss what you think is sex with your partner.Discuss what is important to them during sex.When defining sex, does it have to involve physical contact or is it sexting?Do both parties need to orgasm to reach their goals, or are they happy to play around without reaching a climax?
Step 3: Ask your partner why they don't feel good.
Mismatched libidos can also be about not having the right kind of sex.Ask your partner what they don't like about your current sex life.This is a dialogue.You need to be an active listener and ask questions if you want to uncover root issues.A partner with a higher sex drive may not just want more frequent sex, but may also be left feeling discouraged and undesirable because their partner frequently rejects them.The partner with a lower sex drive may feel less desire to be intimate with their partner because they feel like sex is an obligation.They may lack the energy for frequent sex, but have a desire for it.
Step 4: When you have a conflict with your partner, explain your wishes.
Talk your partner through your answer instead of simply saying not tonight.Let them know what's holding you back.Let them know that your rejection isn't about them as a person, it's about your desires.Let your partner know that you're too tired to fully embrace sex tonight because you had a long day at work.It helps your partner understand that you are not interested in them sexually because you don't have the energy for that.It helps them understand when you may or may not want sex.Your partner giving you an explanation for why they don't want to have sex is a sign of respect, not an obligation.Don't try to change their minds if they're not in the mood, listen to what they have to say, respect their wishes, and thank them for their honesty.
Step 5: Don't wait for your partner to want to kick in.
When partners are very much attracted to each other, desire can be inconsistent.Instead of waiting for your partner to make you want to do something, spend some time participating in activities that arouse both of you.Increased sexual satisfaction can be achieved by creating a responsive sense of desire.kissing or making out, touching each other in erogenous areas, and describing what you would like to do to one another are some of the activities that can be enjoyable.Ask your partner what they like to do and try to get them involved.
Step 6: It's a good idea to schedule a regular time for sex.
It is normal to want sex that is passionate, but not always practical.It's a good idea to set regular times for sex.Having a set time for sexual activities can ensure that intimacy remains important for both partners.Couples don't have their libidos as much as they do their schedules.When one partner is tired or busy, they may feel amorous.Adding sex to the schedule helps both partners prioritize their sex lives.During your scheduled time for intimacy, you can try different activities, positions, and combinations in the bed.Don't let your intimate time make you want to do something that you're not good at.If you don't feel like having sex tonight, let your partner know.Can we try again on Sunday?
Step 7: You can add additional activities to your intimate actions.
You can compromise with your partner by creating an intimate relationship outside of sex.A sense of physical intimacy can be created by kissing, massage, and light touches.Ask your partner to do the same things that you enjoy because they will physically excite you.If you want to reflect on these later, write out a list.When one partner wants sex and the other doesn't, offer to compromise using intimate activities from your listI'd be happy to give you a massage that leads to some light touching.
Step 8: Try masturbation with someone else.
In an intimate moment that isn't strictly about sex, mutual masturbation allows both partners to be involved.While the lower-drive partner participates in mutual kisses, cuddles, and caresses, the higher sex drive partner should be allowed to touch themselves.You can climax by kissing and/or touching each other's bodies.This creates a physically intimate moment that doesn't require both parties to engage in sex.A healthy way to channel sexual frustration is mutual masturbation.Masturbating with some regularity is reported by around 70% of adults.Allowing your partner to be a part of that creates a sense of physical and emotional intimacy without engaging in traditional sex.You can try out new sex toys together.
Step 9: It is possible to channel your desire into a hobby or activity.
If you have a higher libido than your partner, consider taking up an activity that will help you relax.Exercise can relieve stress, and an exercise like dance can help you express your sexuality.If you want to channel your energy into something productive, you could try art, writing, designing games, cooking, hiking, or anything else.
Step 10: It is a good idea to take a break from sex.
Take a break from sex for a month.Use this time to build emotional intimacy.Regular date nights, having personal conversations, and showing your partner you appreciate them are some of the things you can do.You can focus on your emotional relationship with your partner without worrying about sex.It's a good time to think about your own desire for sex.
Step 11: You should consider going to a sex therapist.
You and your partner can learn to communicate their needs if you see a therapist that specializes in sex and physical intimacy.Tell your therapist about your problems and expectations.They can help you build a healthier sexual relationship by giving you the right tools and activities.You can get in touch with your doctor or look online for a specialist.Ask the therapist if they recommend a therapist for a couple.
Step 12: An open relationship is something to look into.
Open relationships are not for everyone.They need honest communication and a lot of trust.If your partner is a high-libido, opening up your relationship may help them meet their physical needs.You will need to have a lot of open conversations to establish boundaries and expectations.Will the other partners be involved in physical activities or emotional activities?Will your current partner meet new partners?It goes on and on.There are resources for open relationships.Consider talking to a couple's counselor if you want to learn more about creating and sustaining open relationships.Open relationships aren't always one-sided.You should be able to discuss with each other if they want to pursue additional partners.It's not right to say that only one partner can participate in an open relationship because the other doesn't have the same libido.Before you start a relationship, you should discuss and agree on this.
Step 13: If you can't settle your differences, end the relationship.
In a relationship, differing libidos are usually overcome.If you don't feel like you can be satisfied with your partner's libido, consider ending the relationship.It should be the last resort when dealing with incompatible libidos.If your need for sex is so excessive that you feel it is interfering with your daily life or putting unreasonable strain on your relationships, talk to your doctor or see a mental health specialist.A sexual addiction can be a sign of excessive sex drive.