How To Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time
Chances are you're in love with the wrong person when your love life is a one-way street.Self-pity and sadness are easy to get stuck in.To make your life better, you'll need to get out of self-pity.Taking practical steps to understand your attraction to the wrong person will prevent you from falling back into the same trap.
Step 1: You should notice how you feel around him.
If you have a nagging sense that something isn't right, no matter how sure you are that he's the right one for you, you should.Not every love story is perfect, but the first step to a healthy relationship is honest evaluation.You are hiding the truth about your relationship if it can't stand up to scrutiny.It may be helpful to talk to a friend.A friend can help you see things that you have avoided.
Step 2: Listen to what your friends and family have to say.
If your family and friends keep their distance from you, this is a sign that you are in love with the wrong person.These are people who care about you.Talk to them about their concerns.Don't defend yourself or the person you're in love with.If you want to hear what they have to say, keep quiet and listen.If the person you love has not treated you with respect, your friends and family will notice.
Step 3: Try to imagine the future with the person.
If you can't see what a realistic future would look like together, it's time to move on.You might be in love with the wrong person if you can't see your lives together in 5 or 10 years.It doesn't mean that you have to stay with the person forever.Sometimes it is the wrong time for a long-term commitment.It's possible that you daydream about what your life would be like without the other person in it.It might be time to make that dream come true.
Step 4: The signs of rejection can be seen.
It's up to you if the person you love doesn't love you back.When you realize that his lack of love has more to do with him and his life than it does with you, it will be easier to accept.Maybe he has become involved with drinking or drugs, has a problem with depression, or is upset.He may have realized that he is not in love with you.If he is consistently breaking his promises to you, not communicating his needs, and leaving you alone to wonder what you did wrong, this is a sign of rejection.If this is the case, there is nothing you can do about it.
Step 5: You should start to accept the situation.
You will be dragging around the pain of this situation for years if you allow yourself to focus on revenge.Accept that pain is a consequence of your situation.You will be able to learn from your experience as you move forward.Feel compassion for the person who's disappointed you.You can try to accept the other person's decisions if you don't understand them.
Step 6: Remember that you have your own value.
You're likely to see them if you use daily Affirmations or post reminders.You don't have value if you've been in love with the wrong person, or if it's not the right time to start a relationship.Your life is a collection of experiences and encounters, not just this one.You are the right person for the job.You may be able to use the rejection as a lesson in finding the right person for you.
Step 7: Don't feel sorry for yourself.
It is easy to feel bad for yourself when you are in love with the wrong person.Feelings of self-pity can provide some solace in a sad situation.You have to decide if you are going to implement a zero tolerance policy towards self-pity in your life.Remember something that you feel good about if you notice feelings of self-pity creeping in.You will slip into self-pity as you try to quit because of ingrained patterns of thinking.If you notice when this happens, turn your attention to something positive.You are ready to try new things when you realize that self-pity isn't a solution to your problem.
Step 8: Don't forget to keep a gratitude journal.
You can counter your feelings of sadness by forcing yourself to pay attention to the good things in your life.Writing in detail about people you are grateful for is one of the best practices in keeping a gratitude journal.You don't have to worry about the quality of your writing in a gratitude journal.You can either write in complete sentences or just write a few words.It is possible to turn your attention to more positive things when you write a list of things that you are grateful for.You can use your journal to give yourself a boost.No matter how hard your life is at the moment, there are always things to be happy about.
Step 9: Talk to a professional.
A therapist, counselor, rabbi, minister or other professional has helped people deal with unhappy experiences of love.It can be helpful to talk to someone who doesn't have a personal investment in the situation, who can speak to you without being concerned about taking sides.A long history of bad relationships can cause self-pity.You might need to work on these issues to improve your relationships.You shouldn't attempt to do this on your own.Seek help from a mental health professional.You might want to check with the therapist to see if he or she can help you examine your past relationships.Some therapists like to focus on the present rather than the past.It will take time to complete this process and it can be quite painful.You can trust a professional not to share your information.Insurance coverage can help defray the costs of seeing a professional.For low income people, there are clinics that offer free or low cost counseling.
Step 10: You can learn to love yourself.
You might conclude that no one wants you when you're involved in an unhappy love situation.This is a result of being rejected or in a bad relationship.You can remind yourself of your positive qualities.The healing process of a broken heart will be aided by practicing self-love.Check yourself if you find yourself talking in a negative way.Is it possible that you would say those words to a loved one?Consider what you would say to someone you loved.
Step 11: You should talk to someone you trust.
There are many good reasons to share your feelings.Talking about your frustration will help you see your relationship in a different way, which may offer solutions you hadn't thought about before.Talking with a trusted friend will help you feel better.If you are feeling alone, your friend has had similar experiences, which will help.
Step 12: You should start to build your self-esteem.
A low self-esteem is a negative evaluation of yourself.People with low self-esteem are more likely to be unhappy.You will be less likely to feel sorry for yourself if you care about yourself.Maybe this is a good time to try new things, join self-help groups, or volunteer to help someone less fortunate than yourself.Self-esteem can be developed by paying attention to your feelings.You are left to believe what other people tell you when you don't respect your own feelings.
Step 13: Get active.
You can stop feeling sorry for yourself if you move your body.You will start to feel better about yourself when you force yourself to exercise.The effects of exercise on your mood will kick in.Remember the old expression, "move a muscle, change a thought", exercise helps everything about your life, you will sleep better, become healthier and more fit, and you'll feel less stressed.
Step 14: Be kind to yourself.
Find a way to see things in a different light when you notice your internal dialogue repeating negative things.If you find yourself saying, "You're so stupid!", remind yourself that it was just a small mistake and you'll learn from it.You can say that it is human to make mistakes.Being understanding towards yourself when you make a mistake will help you heal as you deal with unreturned feelings of love.It is important to practice kindness to yourself when you love the wrong person.
Step 15: Live to the fullest.
Prioritize what you want, feel and think.People who fall in love with the wrong person spend more time relying on what other people want for them than they do on their own.Paying attention to yourself can help you deal with an unhappy experience of love.Consider what makes you happy.Do you like yourself the most?Do more of these things.It is okay to try to minimize the things in your life that make you feel awkward, silly, or unimportant.
Step 16: Accept the responsibility for your choices.
Making the decision to take responsibility for your decisions will help you learn and grow.To be responsible for your choices is not the same as being a victim.Being in charge of your life is powerful.Taking responsibility will allow you to learn from your choices.It is likely that you had a part to play when someone else acted badly.Talking with a therapist, a counselor, or a trusted friend can help you sort through your choices in a new way.
Step 17: Patterns are found in your love life.
Chances are you have been in unhappy love situations if you don't like to get too close to people.A good friend or therapist can help you identify bad relationships.If you can identify your own experiences, try reading up on attachment issues.A nonjudgmental lens can be provided by seeing your behavior as a series of patterns, rather than moral failures.
Step 18: Be aware of your feelings about being single.
There is a lot of stigma around being single.It's possible to get in if you're afraid of being single.Unsatisfying relationships.People in bad relationships are just as lonely as people in good relationships.You are more likely to miss warning signs of a bad relationship if you are afraid of being single.
Step 19: You should protect yourself.
When choosing who to let into your life, make sure you practice Discernment.If you notice your friends taking pleasure in your misfortune, you might want to keep them out of your life.You will feel nourished and protected if you have friends that help you.When things are going well for you, your friends should be happy.You are more likely to love and respect yourself when you are surrounded by people who love you.
Step 20: For the past mistakes, forgive yourself.
You are only human if you make a mistake by loving someone who isn't available to love you back.Learning to forgive yourself will lead to a more resilient life if you are less hard on yourself.There are many opportunities to learn from mistakes.Consider mistakes that you need to learn.There isn't much chance of growing and learning new things without pain.Learning is just a part of mistakes.