How To Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt
It is possible that your boyfriend is attracted to a number of your physical features.You may feel objectified if your boyfriend is obsessed with your butt.The behavior should be addressed in the moment.Your boundaries are clear when you address problem behaviors.Have a conversation with your boyfriend.Explain the behaviors that bother you.If things don't change, then spend some time evaluating the relationship.You don't want to waste time with someone who only sees you as a sexual object.
Step 1: You have to figure out your own boundaries.
Take into account your own boundaries before you figure out which behaviors to address.You don't want to be in a relationship that is not okay with you.You shouldn't feel bad if you assert your boundaries.You have the right to address a behavior that makes you unhappy.When drawing the line, do not worry about your boyfriend's feelings.Think about the things that bother you.You don't mind your boyfriend touching you in public if it's for a private reason.Try to remember the boundaries in your head.You will know when to speak up in the future.
Step 2: As the issue comes up, address it.
You don't want any resentment in the relationship.You should speak up for your rights frequently.Let your boyfriend know if he crosses a line.When your boyfriend makes comments about your butt, you don't like it.You don't like being talked about in a sexual way.If you are hanging with your boyfriend and he makes a comment, do not get angry, but don't stay silent.The issue should be addressed immediately.Say something like, "I don't like it when you talk about me like that."
Step 3: You should be gentle, but firm.
Being assertive doesn't have to mean aggressive.You don't want to argue with your boyfriend.Don't be aggressive when addressing problem behaviors by being clear and direct with your feelings.You don't have to raise your voice or snap at your boyfriend.It is possible to state your issue in a calm, clear voice.Don't use angry or argumentative language.Be firm, but also polite.Say you dislike it when your boyfriend grabs your butt.Say something like, "I really don't like it when you do that."I feel uneasy.
Step 4: Accept that you have rights in the situation.
Many people feel responsible for the feelings of those around them, or that being nice means avoiding confrontation at all costs.This isn't the case.This is not your problem if your boyfriend gets angry when you assert yourself.No one has the right to violate the rights you have in your relationship, such as who can touch your body and when.If your boyfriend makes you feel bad, stand strong.He may try to say something like, "It's not that big of a deal" or "I can't help if I'm attracted to you."You don't have to worry about your boyfriend's feelings.His right to express himself does not mean you have to feel respected.If your boyfriend is frustrated by your response, don't feel bad.You have the right to feel safe in a relationship.No one should disrespect that right.
Step 5: Do you want to say something?
You should discuss your boyfriend's behavior with him.It's a bad idea to let things get out of hand.Think about what you want to say before you speak.What do you want to discuss?How can you address it?It is possible to write down your thoughts.It is possible to figure out how to express your feelings in a journal.What is most important to you in this discussion?Do you want your boyfriend to get to know you?Do you need him to change?Write down what you want to say and think about your goals.
Step 6: Don't expect the situation to go well.
A sense of apprehension can be created by expectations.It can influence your behavior if you think your boyfriend will react in a certain way.You may think your boyfriend will be angry.You may go into the conversation hostile if you think he will react with hostility.Release any expectations that you have.This will calm the situation.It will allow you to let things happen naturally, rather than trying to control them.
Step 7: "I" statements can be used.
These statements emphasize personal feelings over objective judgement.In a situation, "I"-statements reduce blame.There are three parts.You immediately state your feeling after they begin with "I feel...".You explain the behavior that led to that feeling.You explain why you feel the way you do.You could say something like, "It's degrading when you grab my butt in public."I'm not a person.If you express it this way, your boyfriend may feel attacked or judged.The above sentiment could be rephrased using an "I"-statement.It makes me feel like I'm an object and not a person when you grab my butt in public.
Step 8: What do you want to change?
Leave the conversation with a plan.A clear understanding of what needs to change is what you and your boyfriend should have.Give your boyfriend positive instructions on how to move forward.Don't just focus on what he is doing wrong.Tell him what he could do instead of saying what behaviors need to stop.You could say, "I like it when you compliment my body."It makes me feel better about myself.I would prefer if those comments were made in private and not in front of your friends.
Step 9: If you're being objectified, recognize it.
Sexual objectification and sexual attraction are different things.An obsession with a particular body part can lead to objectification.Do you think your boyfriend views your butt differently from you?This is sexual objectification if your boyfriend is treating you as a body.Think about the way your boyfriend interacts with you.Is he paying attention to you as a person?Do you think he values your intelligence and personality more than your body?
Step 10: It's a good idea to watch for misogynistic tendencies.
Over time, these kinds of tendencies can hurt a relationship.It may be hard for your boyfriend to change his behavior if he has a misogynistic mentality.Do you know if your boyfriend has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality?He may cross your boundaries and upset you, but try to make up for it with kind, charming behavior.He will cross your boundaries again with time.Does your boyfriend compete with you?Is it possible that he has rules for how you act and dress?Does he feel threatened by your accomplishments?Is he inconsistent in his communication?Does he sometimes talk to you and then disappear for a week without an explanation?
Step 11: Evaluate if you want to stay.
It takes work to be in a relationship.Personal boundaries are not one of the things you have to compromise on.Your boyfriend should be respectful of you.The relationship is not worth it if he isn't respecting you.This shows a lack of respect if you've talked to your boyfriend about your boundaries and he still violates them.You have to find someone who respects you.The relationship is not healthy if your boyfriend violates your boundaries frequently.It might be best to end the relationship at this point.