It can be difficult to deal with a situation of being followed on Facebook due to the fact that we view our connections as friends.It's difficult to get rid of stalkers because they don't seem to go away, and you want to be nice to them.Allowing their behavior to diminish your enjoyment of Facebook is not an option, and there are some things you can try to get them to stop.While most of the steps in this article are about how to deal with a Facebook stalking situation yourself in as non-confrontational and assertive a way as possible, be aware that if you feel more than just irritated or challenged by the behavior and instead feel threatened or harassed in any way then
Step 1: Be aware of what stalking on Facebook might mean.
While stalking on Facebook doesn't have the physical elements of being followed or watched in the real world, the unleashed feelings are just as real.Online stalking involves people communicating with you in ways that unsettle you, especially with respect to suggesting or implying that they're watching and noting your every comment and update.
Step 2: Tell them that you don't like their posts and give reasons why.
They might be able to appreciate honesty.Rather than trying to be smart.
Step 3: Look at the intent behind the stalker's actions.
There is a difference between friends and family browsing your online information to keep themselves apprised of what you're sharing and a person who targets you specifically.According to Professor Kevin Wise of the University of Missouri, healthy wall viewing in Facebook consists of what he calls "social browsing", whereby friends and family look at your general news feed and updates, enjoy the read but then move on to other people and activities.Professor Wise refers to social searching as a more concerted action on behalf of the viewer.Here the viewer focuses solely on your wall posts, pictures, updates, etc., and doesn't balance this with viewing other people's Facebook feeds; in other words, this person is acting as if he or she is obsessed with you.A social searcher experiences stronger emotional reactions to what he or she reads than people just socially browse.If a Facebook stalker is out to get you, this suggests that you should be more involved in your world.It's possible that they will misconstrue everything you say online.
Step 4: Check for signs of stalking on Facebook.
Is the person failing to leave you alone despite your various requests to stop messaging you, leaving wall comments, or sending you things like links and Farmville gifts?Are they suggesting that the two of you are spending more time together, or even the rest of your lives, if they're not your lover or spouse?Are you being bombarded with intimidating language such as cursing or sexually suggestive comments?Are you being threatened?Is someone posting unkind, doctored, private, etc., photos of you online with people close to you as well?Is there a case where the person will not leave you alone but will keep posting updates, sending messages and constantly butting in?Constantly doing this tends to reveal obsessive behavior, not necessarily being nasty, mean, or threatening.
Step 5: Take a look at your own perception of the situation.
If the person stalking you is constantly commenting on and liking your posts and photos, and is barely leaving you alone, your response can range from irritation and frustration to finding it unpleasant.Even if these actions are done only occasionally, there can be a problem where anything they've said leaves you feeling pressured, upset by what they have added, or you have asked them to stop contacting you at all but they haven't.Before you worry about their feelings, consider your own.Do you feel like someone is following you because of what they're doing?Is it possible that someone is obsessed with you because they really like or really hate you?Are you annoyed by their posts and messaging?You should find a solution that works for you.
Step 6: Respond.
If you don't feel threatened immediately, try responding in a graduated way.It is possible that this person doesn't understand that what he or she is doing is upsetting to you.If you want to take the issue more seriously, you should try to open the lines of constructive communication.You don't need to cause unnecessary drama in your life because you reacted rudely to the other person or misinterpreted their motives, only to end up with them and 10 other people yelling at you!Keep in mind that if this doesn't work, you have other options at your disposal, so start by assuming the best and asking them to stop.Say something like, "Hey J!"Did you know that you're the only one who leaves me a message every hour?I would be happy if you could cut it back to one post a day, because I'm finding it hard to deal with.Does it work for you?It goes without saying that some people will leave a lot of messages because it seems like the natural thing to do, if the person is a real life close friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, or a family member.They should acquiesce to any requests from you to chill on their excessive messaging and if talking to them doesn't work, speak with other family members or friends to get additional support.
Step 7: Try short responses or no responses at all.
"Thanks" will suffice if they comment on a picture with such things as how pretty it is and how you should hang out with them, or how awesome they think you are.If they chat with you and write long messages, just say "lol" or "ok" to show you aren't interested.Don't reply to anything this person leaves on your wall or in your message box.If they comment on your statuses just saying "lol" or "ok", they won't have any leverage left to keep that comment stream going.You are giving out hints that you're not going to respond to what this person is doing, but you are annoyed by what they are doing.
Step 8: Leave less obvious hints.
Some people might feel embarrassed around mutual friends if there were more obvious hints.If you tag them in a post, you can say, "I love how (person's name) comments and likes all of my things!"It's not rude, but it gives them a hint that you've noticed and find it annoying.Hopefully, they will get the hint.They might think it's a compliment or a thank you.When I post stuff like X, Y, and Z, please don't leave comments.It's an update of no consequence.It makes it clear to them that you don't think much of what they're saying.If you can't beat them, join them.This could cure the problem.You don't know if he or she is a Facebook friend, but if you like his or her stuff, you should comment on it too.It is possible that this person genuinely digs you and the two of you will become good friends with shared interests as a result!Sometimes it takes changing your perspective and broadening your understanding of using Facebook in order to put things right, and this step is a twist on the "don't assume the worst of other people" step.It is possible that an online friendship will grow, but only if you try.
Step 9: Ask them to stop, more firmly this time.
If it starts to get on your nerves and you've already tried the softly softly approaches, get back to them politely but be firm this time.Send a chat message or an inbox message to let them know that the constant commenting and messaging is not appropriate and that you would like them to like your stuff less."Hey X!"I'm following up on my request to make the posts and messaging easier to read.It's not working for me because I don't like to comment on half the time and you leave so many posts.I'm letting you know that I need you to stop doing this because I hoped you'd understand my request last time.It would be better for both of us if you stopped, because I'm not going to read or respond to what you're adding.You have a choice as to whether or not to warn them about your intentions to block them.
Step 10: If they won't take the hints or direct messages, consider blocking them.
There are two approaches to this.To warn them that you'll do it and then to follow through if they don't, is the first thing.If you think it will have an impact and won't make them angry with you, then do this.If you've already given enough hints, the second response is to simply block them and not alert them.If you go to your privacy settings, you can block a friend.Go to "Posts by Me" after clicking on the button "Customize".They can't see your wall if you click on "Customize" again.There is more information on how to remove a friend from Facebook.How to block people on Facebook for more information is a good read.If you want to stop someone from chatting on Facebook, you have to block them.
Step 11: You should tell your friends.
It is important to let your friends know what is going on, especially if they are friends with both of you.If they're supportive of you and understanding of the situation, they can either take the same action or keep an eye on the blocked person and let you know what's happening.If you took this action because you felt there was no other choice, but you are still offline friends, then your other friends can help smooth the waters between the two of you; or if the blocked person feels offended and tries to retaliate, the more people you have.Some obsessive people don't understand the harm they're doing.If you're not careful, being blocked can cause them to take this as a personal rejection, which can make them seek to muddy your reputation.They might be someone who got the wrong end of the stick on how to use Facebook and will apologize when they finally get it.You can also report them to Facebook.This will bring in Facebook's abuse team, who will be able to prevent them from using Facebook, or contact their internet service provider or local authorities.
Step 12: If you feel threatened, humiliated, harassed, or in fear as a result of what the other person has been posting on Facebook, seek help quickly.
Let people know what you're going through by talking to them.Actions taken to instill fear or make threats are just as bad online as they are offline.If you get support and someone else to talk to, you'll know if the fears are in your own head or not.Don't allow threats of harm or property damage to happen.Contacting the police immediately is necessary for these police matters.