How To Deal with Your Child Being Suspended from School
You might be shocked, disappointed, or angry if your child is suspended from school.You can help turn the suspension into a teachable moment by staying calm, learning all the details, and showing support to both the school and your child.
Step 1: Ask the school what happened.
Within 24 hours of the decision being made, you have to be notified of a suspension.When the school calls you to inform you that your child has been suspended, ask for the details of the incident, how long the suspension will last, and why suspension was the chosen punishment.
Step 2: Don't jump to conclusions until you have all the facts.
It is easy to assume that the school is not addressing your child's behavior issues.You might assume your child is the wrong person.You need to hear all sides of the story before jumping to a conclusion.
Step 3: Request documentation about the suspension.
In most school districts, a student can only be suspended for certain reasons, such as when other actions have failed or the student places themselves or others in danger.Ask the school to give you a written explanation of your child's actions as well as the specific rule that was broken.After your emotions have cooled down, having written documentation will help you process the information.It will make sure that you and the school are on the same page about the incident.
Step 4: If you need more information, schedule a face-to-face meeting.
If you don't feel like the school's explanation and written documentation answers all of your questions about the suspension, you can schedule a meeting with the principal or the teacher.To make sure you don't forget anything, write down all of the questions that you have before the meeting.It is best that your child does not attend the meeting to send a message that you don't support the school's decision.
Step 5: If you feel angry, try to cooperate with the school.
You might feel angry at your child because the school treated them unfairly.It is important to set an example for your child by controlling their behavior.When you start to feel angry, take a few deep breaths and count to 10.
Step 6: Wait until you and your child are calm.
If you are called to the school immediately after an incident, you and your child might both be very emotional.Let your child know that they can expect a conversation after you calm down.Depending on when the suspension occurred, you can either go home and cook dinner or stop at a restaurant and eat lunch.It will give your child time to reflect if you focus on an activity.
Step 7: Your child should tell you their side of the story.
It will send a message that you care about your child if you give them the chance to explain themselves.Children and teenagers will bend a story to portray themselves in the best light, so you may need to take their story with a grain of salt.If your child has a different story than the school tells, try to find other students or teachers who witnessed the event.
Step 8: Do you know if your child is having other problems?
It can be a symptom of another issue when children and teenagers act out.If your child is having health, vision, or hearing problems, they may be having issues with drugs or alcohol.It seems like something else might be bothering you after you were told to sit in class.Can we talk about it?
Step 9: Tell your child that what they did was wrong.
You should talk to your child about what they did that they shouldn't have done.Some things will be obvious, such as being suspended for skipping school, but other situations might be more of a grey area, like pushing another student who was acting like a bully.
Step 10: Discuss with your child how they could have handled it differently.
The suspension can be used as a teachable moment.Tell your child how they could have reacted differently if they were upset or angry.Ask your child to walk back through the steps.When they get to the part where they messed up, stop and ask, "Can you describe exactly how you were feeling then?"How could you have said that instead of what you did?
Step 11: Enforce the school's decision if you are supportive of your child.
Let your child know that bad behavior won't change the fact that you love them and that they have to abide by the school's rules.Positive discipline will help your child understand that what they did was wrong, but that they are not a bad person.Even though you got in trouble at school, I still love you.You acted out because you were angry.Everyone gets upset, but your behavior is not okay.
Step 12: When your child is out of school, make sure they stick to a routine.
Don't allow your child's suspension to turn into a vacation.Make sure they get out of bed at the same time they would have to go to school, and that they stay up late.It will be easier to get back into a routine when they return to school.If your child is at school, make sure to stick to the meal times.Plan out a schedule where your child eats breakfast, works on school assignments, eats lunch at their regular time, and helps out around the house in the afternoon.
Step 13: If your child is suspended, make sure they complete their schoolwork.
Most schools will assign work for the student to complete during their suspension so they don't fall behind in class.Make sure your child finishes their work.You might want to take them to the library to get some supplementary reading on the subjects they're studying to send the message that their education is a priority to you.
Step 14: Introduce your child to new skills.
This incident can be used to teach your child new ways to cope with anger or frustration.Children act out because they don't know how to express their feelings.
Step 15: Follow up with the school when necessary.
Before your child can return to school, you need to meet with the school administration.You may want to call the school about a week after your child returns to school to inquire about their behavior.