You may have heard that a child's aggression can lead to other problems, such as poor academic performance and low self-esteem.Smacking isn't effective.Try other forms of discipline to find out which works best for your child.There are better ways to teach your child to obey.
Step 1: Nature should be allowed to take its course.
Natural consequences occur when a child breaks a rule.You can help your child connect the cause and effect by talking to them about the consequences.They can learn from the incident with your help.There is no need for parents to help a child learn their lesson.When visiting family, you should ask your child not to take their favorite toy.They accidentally left it behind.No further correction is necessary if you don't have the toy.The child is more likely to follow the rules if they lose something they care about.Don't make a special trip or turn around to get the lesson.Tell the child that they'll need to find a way to get the toy back if they wait until the next time you visit or teach them problem-solving skills.A child hitting a friend and the friend's parent no longer wants them to come over.The outcome shows the child that hitting is not appropriate.
Step 2: Whenever possible, link the consequences with the behavior.
Resolving the situation can include consequences or payback.When rules are broken, logical consequences should be linked to the behavior.Discipline should be a direct reflection of their actions.A child bounces a ball in the house and breaks a picture frame.You might say that you were told not to play with the ball inside.You have broken a frame.You will have to do extra chores to pay for the frame, so be sure to explain why the consequence is being put into place.
Step 3: Choices can be offered to correct undesirable behaviors.
Being able to make their own decisions helps kids exercise their independence.Kids learn to develop their own problem-solving skills with choices.Clear choices are offered instead of shouting at them.If a child is hitting others, you might say, "If you can't keep your hands to yourself, leave the play area for a time out."It's possible to say to a child that doesn't want to get dressed, "Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the grey one?"The desirable behavior can be done on their terms.
Step 4: Meeting the underlying need is the correct way to correct misbehavior.
Why is your child acting out?If you can come up with a plan to correct the behavior and help them get their needs met, that would be great.Your child may be desperate for your attention if they interrupt you repeatedly during a phone call.You could say, "I will be off the phone in a few minutes, then you and I will have some cuddle time, okay?" and then allow the child to come in the room with you, but only if they play quietly."The rule is no running in the house if your child is running.We should go to the playground in the park.
Step 5: A point system can be used to decrease undesirable behavior.
If you want to visually represent your child's behavior, put a chart up in your home.They could get a point on the chart or a marble could go into the jar.A consequence is put into place when they reach a certain amount.The child will have to behave for a set amount of time in order to have the consequence removed or privileges returned.This type of discipline allows kids to control their behavior.This isn't getting more points or getting their privileges restored.The system can be used to reward good behavior.The child would earn and lose points according to their behavior.A desired activity or treat may be the result of an accumulate of points.
Step 6: Positive reinforcement can increase good behavior.
Praise or reward your child when they are acting appropriately is an effective way to help them obey.When you see your daughter eating with good table manners, say, "Mindy, I love how you are eating."Positive reinforcement such as praise and rewards is more effective than a consequence, according to experts.They suggest ignoring undesirable behavior and only giving your attention when your child is doing the right thing.To get more attention, the goal is to get the child to do more positive behaviors.The child will be more likely to behave well if they are encouraged to do so.When a child throws food, the parent might ignore it but still praise them for eating as they please.
Step 7: Help your child know what's right and wrong by setting clear rules.
If your child knows what is expected of them, they are less likely to break the rules.Explain your family's rules to your child.The rules should be simple and consistent.If rules are broken, gain points on a chart.Discuss the rule, consequences and how the child can do better when disciplining.For instance, your rules might say, "walk indoors."No running!Clear away your area after an activity, such as homework or arts and crafts, if you want to complete homework before playtime.You might have a rule to treat others with respect.It's disrespectful for your child to behave that way if you talk to them about it.Tell them how they could express their emotions in a different way.If you put the rules in plain sight, your child will be reminded of how to behave.Hang a sign on your kitchen door or put them on the wall near your points chart.
Step 8: The child needs to be taught how to hold themselves accountable.
When no one is watching, it's important that your child learns to follow the rules.Don't want to micromanage the child's behavior.If you want the child to check off positive behaviors, you could have them clean up after themselves.If you have more than one child, teach them to help each other follow the rules.If one child sees the other running in the house, she could say, "Hey, we're supposed to walk."You could be hurt or break something.
Step 9: Consistency is needed across caregivers, situations and children.
Keeping the same rules and consequences in your household will help your child establish rules of behavior.They know what to do if they don't comply.It's important to be consistent across contexts and caregivers.The child shouldn't be allowed to break the rules just because friends are there.Mom should not have one set of rules while dad has another.When you are tired, you should have the same expectations for your child.Don't allow them to take advantage of your exhaustion.One child shouldn't be allowed to break rules and not have consequences enforced, in addition to your rules being consistent between your children.The same rules should be followed by other children when they visit.Ask your child to explain the rules to their friends or relatives when they get to your home, as this will help reinforce the child's understanding.
Step 10: Provide places to release energy.
Kids with a lot of energy get into trouble because they don't know how to channel it.Give your child lots of time to work and move.They will be less likely to break the law.Allow your child to burn off energy by playing outside or put a special place inside where they can play.Keep coloring books, puzzles, and games nearby to keep them busy.When it comes to your child, be realistic.An energetic child should not be expected to sit for hours at a time.Set up parameters that increase your child's odds of being obedient.
Step 11: It's important to set a firm intention.
You will use other forms of discipline besides spanking if you make a commitment with yourself.There is a clear plan with alternatives.Write it down and visualize it.You could say, "I will not spank my child."Instead, I will give my child choices, consequences and positive reinforcement.It is possible to choose a more appropriate technique in the heat of the moment if you have a clear intention for how you want to handle discipline.You can make your intentions public by sharing them with friends and family.Ask them to hold you accountable.
Step 12: If you have a partner or co-parent, get them on board.
If you are parenting with someone else, talk about your intentions to not use spankings as a form of discipline.Share your knowledge of other, more effective disciplines.Role-play scenarios and an open discussion as to how you two can handle common behavioral problems without hitting each other.It may take some time to replace the old habit if spanking is not a new practice.If you want to make a commitment to turn to other approaches, make sure to remind yourself how damaging spanking can be.
Step 13: Make sure family and friends are following the same rules.
It's important that your child follow through on your rules, as they are likely to spend time under the care of other adults.If your child is not allowed to play violent video games, you will want to make sure other caregivers don't let them play the games.It will be harder to achieve the positive behaviors you want if the child is able to break the rules.If someone breaks the rules you have set for your child, talk to them.Don't allow your child to go to their home if they continue to break the rules.
Step 14: Take care of your own stress.
Even the best-laid plans can fall apart when you are frustrated or upset.You can think objectively when disciplining if you manage stress and negative emotions.Deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation are some of the relaxation exercises.It's important to eat healthy foods that support your health.You can approach discipline with a clear head if you get plenty of rest and exercise.Take the time to have fun with friends and family.