You broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and now want to move on, but he still wants to get back together.Maybe you are the one who wants to reconcile with your ex, but you realize you need some time apart after a tough break up.Making a clean break and cutting contact with them will help you avoid them.
Step 1: Don't text or call.
If you want to avoid contact with your ex, use your phone's settings.You can change your ex's name in your address book to "DO NOT ANSWER" to remind you what to do.You can block a particular number entirely with some phones or services.
Step 2: Keep your contact short and sweet.
Keep the communication brief but friendly if you have to talk to your ex.It may seem tempting to flirt, but never.Say, "I'm sorry, this conversation isn't going well" if you start to repeat old arguments.I need to end it.
Step 3: If you need help limiting your exposure to your ex, ask your teachers, bosses, or coworkers.
If you are assigned to the same project or work table in class, it could derail your effort to avoid your ex.You might need to ask people at school or work for help.You could tell the teacher that you don't want to do a group project with your ex.If you want to avoid class with your ex, you could ask your guidance counselor to arrange your schedule.
Step 4: To avoid awkward encounters, plan your schedule.
If you run into your ex, you won't talk to him.You will not see him flirting with someone else.If you are in school with each other, use your knowledge of his schedule to avoid crossing paths in the hallway or lockers.Don't visit his workplace.If he works at a cafe, you should get your hot drinks somewhere else.Don't go to his hangouts.Don't go to those basketball games if your ex plays.Don't go bowling for a while if he always took you bowling.
Step 5: Make your boundaries clear and keep in contact with your friends.
Just because you have friends doesn't mean you should be socializing with your ex.Your friends might want to remain friends with both of you.It is not healthy to try to convince everyone to side with you.It is possible to talk about different scenarios with your friends.You could say: "I don't feel comfortable continuing our movie nights as a small group right now."It is ok to invite both of us if you throw a big party.If you want to invite your friends to a dinner party, be sure to keep them up to date.Leave his friends with him.As you navigate the break-up, so does your ex.Your ex should have his own network of friends and family.
Step 6: Look for signs of stalking and abuse.
A reasonable person would be frightened by a pattern of unwanted attention or behavior directed at them.Stalking is sending intrusive, scary calls, messages, or gifts.A stalker is likely to follow you in places where she knows she will find you.He may make threats to harm you.Call the police if you feel you are being followed.Don't downplay threatening behavior.Keep a record of any contact made by a stalker as well as any police reports.
Step 7: Establish and communicate your own boundaries.
Sometimes an ex's behavior doesn't rise to the level of stalking.She might be asking to be friends or to get back together.It is normal for exes to spend a certain amount of time together.Even if you feel guilty about ending the relationship, you can set your own boundaries with an ex.Decide on the boundaries that will allow you to enjoy your life.You don't owe your ex time or attention.The first step is naming your own boundaries.Pay attention to how you feel.They can be a sign that your boundaries are being violated or that you haven't set boundaries that make you feel comfortable.You should be direct about what your boundaries are.If you need to, sound like a broken record.I am not ready to be friends with you.I will let you know when I am ready.
Step 8: Don't let your friends and family down.
They are the first line of defense in preventing your ex from contacting you.If you want to limit contact with your ex, ask your family.Your parents might be able to prevent your ex from trying to contact you.Don't tolerate friends who will not respect your decision to end contact with your ex.Your friends are not real friends if they use the situation to stir up drama.
Step 9: If you need help in staying safe at school or work, ask.
There is a right not to be forced into unwanted contact with an ex.At school, you should speak with a guidance counselor, Human Resources or a trusted supervisor.
Step 10: Don't be taken in by promises that your ex will change.
If you get back together, your ex might promise not to abuse you again.This is a part of the abuse cycle.If your ex does a lot of work and gets help, you need to be out of the relationship now.
Step 11: If necessary, ask for legal help.
You might need to get a restraining order if your ex won't leave you alone.Limits on the contact your ex may have with you can be found in this legal document.
Step 12: To make a clean break, commit to it.
It is possible to be friends with someone you used to date, but you need time to recover from the break-up.In the long run, friendship between exes is less satisfactory than friendship with people who never dated.To know how long a date is, mark it on a calendar.If you had a healthy relationship, you could say to your ex, "I hope that we can interact as friends in the future."I need some time to heal myself.I will not accept your calls or talk to you until this date.
Step 13: Don't forget that not contacting your ex is about moving on.
You have to develop a new sense of yourself that isn't based on your old relationship.Instead of focusing on her, focus on your friends, family, studies, and hobbies.It is a good time to reach out to a friend that you haven't seen in a while.Taking up a new hobby will allow you to meet new people and build confidence.
Step 14: Don't post on social media with your ex.
Staying connected on social media may prevent you from healing after a romantic relationship ends.Pictures of her night out or status updates about her new partner should not be your focus.Unfriend your ex on Facebook.There are plug-ins that can block your ex's updates from appearing in your feed and remove posts that mention him.Don't follow your ex on social media.Remove references to your ex from your internet browser with a plug-in.If you can't resist searching her name from time to time, these can be helpful.
Step 15: Do not fantasize about your ex.
The drama of love can be similar to addiction.Your fantasies are shaped by the best aspects of the relationship and are not an accurate depiction of what it was like to be with him.
Step 16: Write about the positive aspects of the relationship in a journal.
A break-up can result in personal growth.Positive emotions like gratitude, hopefulness, relief, and satisfaction can be increased by writing an essay about the positive effects of a break-up.
Step 17: Talk to a professional.
If you can't get over your ex, you should talk to a therapist.A counselor can help you develop strategies for interacting with your ex.Take some time to find a therapist.You may need to talk to a few different people or get recommendations from several different sources, including your school and doctor's office.It is worth it to find someone you like.
Step 18: Don't use drugs and alcohol.
Substance abuse increases when someone is going through a break-up.New problems will be caused by relying on alcohol or drugs.
Step 19: Take some time to figure out what happened.
If you want to get over a relationship quickly, you should take time to understand what went wrong first.Discuss the relationship and how it ended with a trusted friend.