You want to be there for your friend when they need you the most, whether it's a break up, depression, or trying to lose weight.A huge encouragement can come from showing that you're there for someone, even if you don't want to.
Step 1: Make contact.
If you find out that someone is going through a crisis, whether it's a divorce, a break-up, an illness, or the death of a loved one, get in contact with them as soon as possible.People who are in a difficult situation tend to feel isolated.If the person is far away, make a phone call, send an email, or text them.You don't have to say that they're having a hard time.Being there for them, asking how they're doing, and offering your support can be a huge boon to someone who's struggling with life.It's a good idea to visit someone in person, even if you don't know them.It's important if they're dealing with an illness that makes it difficult to leave the house.
Step 2: Listen without judgement.
If they're going through a crisis, people need to tell their stories in their own time.You're going to have opinions about their situation, but it's not always necessary to give them advice.Give your friend someone to confide in so they can work through the healing process.If you've been through the same situation as your friend, then you should be able to give advice.If they would like your advice, you can ask, but don't be surprised if it's not what they're after.
Step 3: Practical help can be offered.
What you can offer is help, not advice.A person who is struggling to cope with a difficult situation can benefit from this.Some small things can make a big difference.Help them out with chores like shopping for groceries, cleaning their house, and taking their dog for a walk.When someone's life is coming apart, the basics tasks are usually the first to fall by the wayside.
Step 4: Let your friend deal with their emotions on their own.
Difficult life changes such asillness, death of a loved one, divorce or break-up tend to come in waves.One day your friend might be okay with the change and the next they're not."It seemed like you were doing okay, what happened?" or "Haven't you mourned enough?" should never be said.Don't make them uncomfortable in the face of their emotions.It can be hard to face strong emotions from someone you care about.This isn't about you.This is about the difficult time your friend is going through.Make sure they are comfortable around you.
Step 5: There is an offer to be a support buddy.
Make sure your friend knows that you are here to support them.It's best to have more than one support buddy for your friend, so the burden doesn't fall on you, but make a point of being one of those buddies.Your friend is not burdening you.Call me if you're feeling overwhelmed or upset.I would like to help you deal with this difficult situation.It's important when it comes to break ups or divorces.When they want to call their ex, they call the support buddy.Share their unique qualities and value with them.
Step 6: Your friend should keep up with the basics.
Basic functions of life get forgotten when someone is going through a difficult life event.People who are going through an illness or grieving a death tend to forget to eat, and are less likely to leave the house.They should be reminded to do things like shower and exercise.They have to put a little effort into their appearance if they are to offer to walk with them or take them out for coffee.Bringing over food is a good way to get them to eat since they don't have to cook or clean up afterwards.If they aren't up to much human interaction, you can take them out to eat.
Step 7: Don't take over their life.
Many people have good intentions when it comes to helping someone, but you can overwhelm someone with your help.The power from them can be taken away.Feelings of powerlessness can be experienced during times of divorce or illness.There are options to offer.Don't just take your friend to dinner, ask where they want to eat and when.Even if they're small decisions can go a long way towards regaining power.Don't spend a lot of money on them.Spending too much money on them will make them feel like they can't care for themselves, and taking them to their nails for cheap is one thing.
Step 8: Don't forget to take care of yourself.
A crisis in a friend's life drags up all kinds of emotions in you, as well.If you've experienced something similar to what they're going through, this is also true.The boundaries should be set.Even though you want to keep up with your friend, you need to make sure that your life doesn't end up being about them.Know what triggered you.If you've had to deal with someone who has escaped an abusive home, you might need to back off a little.
Step 9: Continue checking in.
People tend to be very solicitous towards someone immediately after their life falls apart, but fall away as time goes on.Make sure you don't do it.Make sure your friend knows you can call if they need to, and that you keep up with how they're doing.
Step 10: The symptoms of depression can be recognized.
Sometimes people aren't depressed, they're just going through a difficult time.If a friend shows signs of depression, you should pay close attention to make sure it doesn't get worse.Do they have sad, anxious or empty moods?Do they have feelings of hopelessness or pessimism?Do they have a lot of feelings of guilt?Are they tired or have their energy decreased?Do they have a hard time concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?Have you noticed that you are sleepy?Have they gained or lost weight?Are they restless and upset?Have they talked about death or suicide?Have they talked about suicide attempts?They could say that the world world be a better place if they weren't in it.
Step 11: Don't stay there andValidate their pain.
Remember that their pain and feelings of hopelessness are real.If you can, turn their attention to something else when they feel negative feelings.People who are depressed may respond to distraction.You don't have to make it obvious.If you point out the beauty of the sky or the light on the water, you can change the conversation.It encourages a depressed person to remain in that negative place if they go over the same feelings again and again.
Step 12: Don't take their depression personally.
When someone is depressed, it can be difficult to connect with anyone on an emotional level.They will have a harder time reaching out if they take it personally.A depressed person can be mean towards you.The friend who is saying those things is not depressed.You don't have to take abuse from them.A therapist is needed if your friend is becoming abusive or depressed.You won't be able to help them unless you assure them that you'll be there for them when they stop hurting you.
Step 13: Depression can be very serious.
Depression can be linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain.It is more than just being sad.It can feel like a depressed person is being swallowed by despair or emptiness.It's never a good idea to tell someone to get over it or that they could be happy if they only did yoga.This will make them feel bad about what they're going through, and they won't trust you.
Step 14: Offer to help small things.
Depression can make it difficult to do things like clean the house or go to work.It is possible to lighten their burden by doing little things.Depression sufferers spend most of their time struggling against and being swallowed up by their mental disorder.It doesn't leave a lot of energy for household chores.Offer to help them clean their house or bring a nice cooked dinner.Ask if you can take their dog for a walk.
Step 15: Listen compassionately.
Depression isn't something that you can fix.It's better to offer a listening ear to someone than to give them advice."I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed down lately" is a way to start the conversation."Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?" is a question you can ask if they're having difficulty expressing their feelings or opening up."When did you feel like this?"You are not alone in this.I want to help you through this difficult time, I am here for you, and I care about you.Your life is very important to me.
Step 16: You aren't their therapist.
If it's outside of your working hours, you shouldn't be practicing on a friend.Being there for someone going through depression doesn't mean that you have to take responsibility for their mental state.If your friend is constantly calling you in the middle of the night, talking about committing suicide, or is stuck in a horrible place for a long time, they need to talk to a therapist.
Step 17: Encourage your friend to seek help.
You can offer encouragement and support for a friend, but you can't give them the professional help they need, and you cannot make the depression go away through sheer force of will.If you care about your friend, it's important to have this conversation.Ask them if they've ever gone to a professional for help.If you know of a good professional, recommend them.
Step 18: Depression can come and go.
Depression isn't something that comes once and is gone once you take a little medication.Even if your friend finds the right medication, it can be a lifelong struggle.Don't give up on them.Depression can be isolating and can make someone feel crazy.The difference can be made by people who support them.
Step 19: Establish your own boundaries.
Your friend is important to you and you want to do everything you can to encourage their healing.While you're offering your support, you can't lose sight of yourself.It's important that you take care of yourself.Take a break from the depressed person.You can spend time with people who aren't depressed.If you don't have a reciprocated relationship with this friend then the relationship could end up being abusive and one-sided.Don't get sucked into it.
Step 20: Don't tell them they have to lose weight.
You can lose your friendship if you tell a friend they need to lose weight.At a certain point in time, people need to be allowed to decide what they need for themselves.Even if their weight has become a health problem, this is true.If they want to do something about it, they will.
Step 21: Become part of the weight-loss program.
When a friend is trying to lose weight, they need the support of their friends.If they're willing to let you know about their diet and exercise regime, you should find out as much as you can.You have to commit to exercising with them.Tell them that you'll bike to work with them, or go for a run in the evening.Offer encouragement at the gym with them.They don't feel like they are isolated in their food choices if they eat the dishes that they prepare or some of their diet food with them.
Step 22: The focus should be on what they're doing right.
It's not your job to keep an eye on how they're doing.Unless they specifically ask you to do this, don't focus on how they are doing, what they're eating, and so on.You aren't the diet police.Don't take them to task, you're here to encourage and support them.There are little victories and the things they accomplish.They fail to do something right so don't criticize them.You don't have to tell them to shape up if they eat the wrong foods or slack off on their exercise.
Step 23: Along the way, celebrate your achievements.
Make sure you celebrate when they've lost some weight or stepped up their exercise program.Make sure that the celebrations don't focus on food.Take them out to a movie, buy them a pedicure, or read a new book to them.
Step 24: Don't care about the diet.
Don't focus on the diet, what they've accomplished or where they have fallen short when you talk to them.Ask how they've been doing as a person, how their dog is doing, and what the new changes are at the job.This is your friend, even if they fail with losing weight.They shouldn't have to worry about their weight or how much they weigh.
Step 25: It's a good idea to avoid going too far with helpfulness.
It's tempting to show someone how much you care by giving them advice on how to do things better or books on weight-loss.Don't do this.Asking what they need, and being there for them, is more important than pushing in where you're not wanted.