Whether you're in a long distance relationship or just want to liven things up, phone sex is a great way to connect.It can feel weird to talk dirty to someone on the phone if you are not used to it.It can be fun to practice phone sex.It could help you bond with your partner as well.
Step 1: It's a good idea to plan your phone date.
Plan your phone date so that you have at least an hour before to relax and be in the right mindset.It will be hard to get in the mood for your phone date if it starts minutes after you get home from school or work.Aim for double what you think you need and give yourself enough time for the call.Plan for two if you think you will need one hour.
Step 2: Things should not be on your to-do list.
It can be hard to relax if you are stressed out about doing laundry, washing the dishes, or working on a report that is due in a few days.Before your phone date, give yourself some time to work on the things that are stressing you out.It is easier to relax and enjoy the call if you finish some chores before your phone date starts.If you know you'll be exhausted at the end of the day, it might not be a good idea to do your chores before your phone date.Time should be set aside for your romantic encounter.
Step 3: Take care of your inhibitions.
It's difficult to deal with phone sex, so try to figure out what it is.Maybe you don't like the sound of your voice or feel sexy.Maybe you don't know what you want.It's worthwhile to address it if it is holding you back from enjoying phone sex.Self confidence is related to releasing inhibitions.If you want to build your self confidence, you should keep a journal in which you write at least 5 good things about yourself each day.If you struggle with finding yourself attractive and imagining that your partner would like you, try focusing on what you find attractive in the other person.What do you like about him/her?Rather than focusing on the ways in which you feel unattractive, focus on how your partner turns you on.
Step 4: Let go of your doubts.
You might not have the ability to be a good partner if you are new to phone sex.You might wonder if phone sex is sexy at all.Maybe you are worried that your partner will laugh at you, or that you will say something wrong.You have to let your doubts go.One way to let go of doubts is to write them down.If you are worried that you won't know what to say, think up some things you could say in advance.It is a good idea to describe a previous romantic encounter with your partner.It's helpful to discuss your doubts with your partner.It would be great if you could come up with ideas for easing your doubts.
Step 5: Relax.
If you are not tense and worried, you will enjoy having phone sex more.If you are nervous about your phone date, take a bath and relax.Play music, light candles, and use some salts in the water to make your skin softer.It could help you get in the mood.You can play loud music and dance in your room.Don't watch yourself dance in the mirror, just move around freely and enjoy the way it feels to move.Whatever makes you feel good and relaxed, do it.Cute animals and funny videos are great relaxation aids.
Step 6: Prepare for your phone date the same way you would a physical date.
You can take a shower, have a bath, wear perfume or cologne, and dress in something that you feel good in.Put on makeup if you wear hair.
Step 7: Set the scene.
If you live alone, make sure you have a bedroom or living room where you can let go of things.If you want to lie down while you talk on the phone, you need to tidy up the room and lay out some blankets and pillows.Light some candles and play music.Make sure you can hear your partner when you play soft music.If you don't have to compete with other people singing and speaking in the background, instrumentals are the best.Think about what you want to say to your partner as you set the scene.Remember romantic times you haven't had with your partner in the past, and think about how you'd describe them to him/her.
Step 8: Start to feel sexy.
Try to be ready 30 to 60 minutes before the date; use this time to do things that help you get in the mood: If you have a camera phone, you can take a photo of yourself and send it to your partner with a flirtatious message.Before your date begins, massage your neck, back, shoulders, thighs, and erogenous zones to get in the mood.
Step 9: Curb your laughter.
Laughing at the wrong time can ruin any sexual encounter, whether it be in person, online, or on the phone.It's a good idea to tell your partner about your concerns about laughing before you have sex.I am willing to try phone sex, but I worry that I will ruin everything.Bringing it up to your partner should help diminish some of the anxiety around it.A bit of laughter won't ruin the sexual experience if you and your partner are comfortable.If you have to acknowledge a laughing fit before moving on, you should work on recognizing it.
Step 10: You have to fake it until you make it.
If you can't get into phone sex because you're not good at it, try pretending that you are.If you do this for at least a few minutes, you might be able to have more fun with it.Once you are more comfortable pretending to have sex on the phone, it should come more naturally to you.
Step 11: Close your eyes and see.
During phone sex, it's a good idea to close your eyes and visualize what your partner is saying.This may help you step into the scene that you are imagining and leave your doubts at the door.If you can't imagine your and your partner's words, try reading erotica or watching love scenes in romantic films.
Step 12: You can find your phone sex personality.
If you can't be yourself when it comes to phone sex, try pretending to be someone else.You can remove yourself from the experience if you have an alter ego.If you refer to yourself by a different name or lower your voice, he/she might be confused, so be sure to explain to your partner that this is what you are doing.Maybe you have a lower voice and like to talk dirty.Maybe your alter ego has something you didn't know you had.Role-playing is when you and your partner create alter egos.
Step 13: You should be comfortable with your partner.
If your partner is pushing for phone sex, and you are having trouble giving him/her what he/she wants, ask yourself if you should be doing it or not.You should be able to talk to your partner openly about your concerns if the phone sex is the problem.If your partner cares about you, he/she won't try to push you into doing something you're not comfortable with.Maybe you are not ready to have phone sex with your partner yet.Maybe you don't know if you can trust him to keep your sessions private or if he will judge you.If this is the case, you can tell your partner that you want to wait.
Step 14: You should talk to your partner.
It's hard for you to enjoy phone sex.Try to find a respectful way of telling your partner that you're uncomfortable with them.You should have an open and respectful conversation with your partner about any concerns you have.Your partner should put those concerns to rest.
Step 15: Follow your partner's lead.
If your partner is more into phone sex than you are, you should follow his/her lead.Wait for him/her to ask what you are wearing, to tell you you're sexy, and to talk about what he/she is doing to you, instead of being the one to initiate the sex talk.You can start talking and initiate more once you feel more comfortable.If your partner knows you're nervous about the experience, he/she should allow you to follow his/her lead a bit more.
Step 16: Don't hesitate to ask for help.
If you're in the middle of a phone call and can't think of anything to say, it's time to let your partner know.Don't be too apologetic.It might ruin the mood if you say "sorry" or beat yourself up for not knowing what to say.It should be light and fun.Asking for help is not a big deal.It is possible to ask for help while remaining in the realm of romantic language."I can't think of what to do next...can you take over?"My mind went blank.I will think of something when I keep going.
Step 17: Give yourself time to have fun.
Even on the phone, foreplay is important: don't go straight from saying hello to saying how turned on you areBefore your conversation gets X-rated, start with sexy small talk, then move on to what you are wearing and how much you wish you were together.It will build anticipation and make your phone session that much more steamier if you engage in small talk before transitioning into the dirtier stuff.Don't rant about work or school assignments, just be sure that your small talk is light-hearted.Ask your partner to slow down if he/she is moving faster than you.It's possible to say, "I'm just enjoying the sound of your voice right now."Can we wait a bit longer before taking our clothes off?
Step 18: If you can't make it work, admit it.
Tell your partner that phone sex is not for you if you feel like you've tried everything and can't make it work.If your partner wanted you to have sex in bed that you didn't want to do, you would tell him/her it was not your thing; having phone sex is no different.It won't matter if you enjoy phone sex or not if your relationship is strong.Don't get upset about not being able to have sex on the phone.Talking dirty, stripteases, or playing in the bedroom are other ways for you and your partner to have sex.