Finding the right partner or spouse is not like finding someone to help you survive a lonely summer, it means finding a person that you can see yourself growing old with and loving thirty, forty, or fifty or more years down the line.Choosing the person you want to marry or commit to forever requires a lot of thought, responsibility, and honesty.You can get ready for a lifetime of happiness once you've found that special person, all of your hard work will be worth it.These steps will show you how to find the right partner.
Step 1: Love you.
It is easy to commit yourself to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with if you love yourself first.You don't have to be completely satisfied with yourself, but if you're unhappy with who you are, you could end up getting together with someone who makes you feel better about yourself.It's true that the person you marry should make you feel whole as a person, but you should already love who you are and feel blessed that you want to be with that person.You should be happy with who you are, what you do, and how you look, this will make it easier for you to attract people with your confidence, but it will also make you search for an equally amazing person who will only make your life better.
Step 2: Being alone is a good thing.
Being single when your friends are happily dating or married is not a picnic.It's natural for you to be lonely or sad if you can't find love.Finding ways to stay interested and excited about life without a significant other is part of loving yourself.It will make you feel better when that special person comes along.If you are miserable by yourself, you will be swayed by the first person who gives you something to do.Don't mistake friendship for love.
Step 3: Get some experience.
You are a rare and lucky breed if you find your first love when you're sixteen.Most people don't marry their first, second, or fourth boyfriend or girlfriend.It is possible to understand the endless ways that a relationship can work by dating more people.If you have never dated anyone other than the person you're with, it's better to see what else is out there.A lot of people help you learn to compromise, and will make you more sure that what you feel for your future spouse is truly special.Getting some sexual experience doesn't hurt anyone.You'll be more sure that the chemistry you share is special if you've had a few partners before.You may spend the rest of your life wondering what's out there if you end up committing to the first person you've been with without being truly happy.
Step 4: Don't settle.
It's related to loving yourself, being alone, and having some experience.People settle because they find someone who makes them feel less alone and loved, even if it's not in the right way.One of the reasons people settle is because they've been with the same person for five years and realize they might as well get married.You shouldn't get married if you're too scared to say goodbye or if the other person wants it.
Step 5: You should consider the qualities you want in a spouse.
You can definitely think about the qualities that you are most looking for in a spouse, even if you don't know who is the perfect fit for you.It would be hard to consider a person who doesn't have some of these qualities.Religion is one of the things to think about when choosing a spouse.Since not everyone who wants to marry a Jew will convert to Judaism, you should stick with your own kind.Family values are important.Do you want to have five children or not?Though people may change their minds more than you think, this is something to consider as you look for someone who shares your ideas.There is a personality.You can't predict someone's personality, but there are a few things you need to know.Do you have a sense of humor that makes you laugh out loud?Do you need someone who is more laid-back to center you?As you look for the perfect person, keep this in mind.People have an attitude toward relationships.Are you looking for a person who will spend every waking second with you, or someone who understands the meaning of "alone time"?It's more important than you think.It's social bearing.Do you want a person with a lot of friends, or one who is more reserved with few friends?If you're a social butterfly and your special someone is more of a wallflower, you can bring out his social side.There are similar interests.Though the person you love probably shouldn't share all of your interests, you should still have a few interests that you can share to keep your relationship going.You may run out of things to talk about if you're a novelist and your loved one doesn't like reading, or a fitness instructor and he has never been to a gym.Maybe not.This one is not static.
Step 6: Consider the qualities you don't want.
The qualities that you don't want in a spouse can be just as important as the qualities you are looking for.There are certain things that will make it impossible for you to get married no matter what.Lack of attraction is one of the things to consider.Physical attraction is not a bad thing.You should have a baseline of attraction that keeps things going if you don't want to rip off your husband's shirt fifty years down the line.You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone if they fit the mold in all other respects.There is a lack of agreement on something.If you're a die-hard tree-hugger and he's obsessed with Romney, you may have a problem.You can have fun disagreeing with someone.If your spouse doesn't understand who you are, you may have a problem.It's geographical incompatibility.He may live in Hawaii if you found the love of your life.It won't work if you live a world apart and neither of you move.
Step 7: Get ready to compromise.
You won't ever be able to find the person who will satisfy all of your needs if you make a list of everything you want.The right person for you will be the one that makes you the most happy, and that person may even fulfill some needs that you didn't know you had.Don't turn a person down because they do not meet all of your needs.Being too picky won't get you very far.You should not stay with a person if you know they don't have the things you need.If you know that the person won't give you what you want in the end, you should not stay with them.There is a balance to be found between finding a person that makes you happy and not giving up the things that matter to you.
Step 8: You can ask your friends.
A lot of couples meet because of mutual friends.It is possible that you will end up married to your friend's cousin or former roommate.It's possible to be set up by your friends, who will know your personality as well as the personality of the person they want to set you up with.One of your friends may have an idea of a single person that would be perfect for you at a gathering.Your friends know what makes you happy and can help you find that perfect person without being too obvious about it.
Step 9: You can find someone who shares your interests.
Common interests can make a relationship thrive, so look out for any special people who share your interests, whether you lock eyes with a cute guy in your yoga class, or see someone reading your favorite book in a coffee shop.The common interest can be a launching point for a relationship.If you're both into something, you can just do it together and see what happens.
Step 10: It's possible to find someone at work without violating any rules.
More people meet at work than they think.In a day, you may spend more time with your coworkers than anyone else, and if you love what you do, then you and that person may have similar interests.As long as you follow company policy, you can be open to the possibility that this person could end up being special if you really feel an attraction to them.
Step 11: Someone can be found online.
One of the easiest ways to meet a spouse is through online dating.People who join online dating sites tend to be more serious about committing for life because they can narrow down their choices based on common interests.About 20% of current relationships started online, so don't be shy about joining.If you're squeamish about this option, just give it a try.If it doesn't work out, you can end your membership.
Step 12: Wherever you go, be open.
You can meet your future husband at a loud, smelly bar.Don't put your blinders up at the wrong time because the perfect person can come up to you at any time.You should be open to the possibility that love can strike at any time, even if you aren't looking for a husband at a company meeting or a funeral.More people will want to know you if you're receptive.
Step 13: Make sure you are compatible.
It is important that they are compatible.You may find that there's just a lack of something when you're together with that special person.Maybe you don't really get each other, you always end up arguing, or you just cannot talk without running out of time.There's nothing you can do to make you compatible if you're not compatible.Sexual attraction is different from compatibility.Compatibility means that your personality meshes well with each other, and that things just click for you more often than not.
Step 14: Give it time.
You should not get married after two weeks with the person you think is Mr.Right.It's very risky to marry someone you've known for just a few months or a year, even if you just have that feeling.You can really see a lifetime of happiness with that person if you give the relationship enough time to know that your feelings aren't just based on attraction, that you can get through some ups and downs together.It won't give you enough time to test the relationship after just a few months.
Step 15: Make sure it's friendly.
You may be gaga for your special person, but you need to know that he's also feeling it.You need to make sure that he's not crazy about you, while you're just happy.Both of you should be happy for the rest of your lives and not crazy about each other.
Step 16: Make sure you are yourself.
Marriage will change two people as they bond more closely, but make sure that the person you want to be with lets you be yourself.It's a bad sign if your friends or family tell you you're not being yourself.If you can't be who you are around that person, you'll feel bad.
Step 17: The same long-term goals can be shared.
You should make sure that you have the same vision of the future, even if you love being with that person for a year or two.Though life is unpredictable and neither of you will be able to do exactly what you want, your visions of the future shouldn't be wildly different or you'll run into a lot of trouble.
Step 18: Take a picture of that person in the future.
You should be able to imagine being with that person for the rest of your life if you've found your spouse.That is probably a very long time, so make sure you really mean that you want to see that person grow old, have kids with them, support each other's careers, and to truly become life partners."I do want to be with you forever, not for a while."If you can't imagine life without that person, then you have found the right partner or spouse.Have an amazing journey!