Negative thoughts are part of our evolutionary make-up, so you may be surprised to learn they are normal.It takes a lot of mental energy to consider what-if or worst-case scenarios when searching for problems to fix.When we start to believe they are true, negative thoughts become a problem.A variety of tactics can help you learn how to think better.
Step 1: Pick out your negative thoughts.
Think about what types of cognitive distortions might be involved and determine what type of partial- or non-truth your mind is telling you.Black-and-white statements that lack any middle ground are examples of cognitive distortions.There is no complexity or in-between when you are either good or bad.Taking a negative experience and making it a hard-and-fast rule.The phrases "You always...", "I never..." or "Everyone..." are included in these thoughts.Maybe you went on a great date, but you can't focus on that awkward silence at the beginning of the night.Negative conclusions can be drawn without a reasonable foundation of evidence, such as assuming we know what will happen in the future.Fixating upon worst-case scenarios and blowing small problems out of proportion.It's important to believe that the way you feel right now reflects reality.The current situation must be very bad if you feel poorly.Holding yourself to a strict set of rules and creating unrealistic expectations of what you should and shouldn't do.Even if we have a lot of evidence to the contrary, we still label ourselves or others based on perceived weaknesses.Personal responsibility for circumstances outside your control.You blame yourself for the bad weather if the party is rained out.Positive attributes are minimized while idealizing others.You explain it away when someone gives you a compliment.
Step 2: You can record your negative thoughts.
For this purpose, create a thought diary.When you have a negative thought, turn to a clean page and follow these steps.I had a fight with my partner this morning.Write down the negative thoughts you had after the event.What was I thinking?What was I saying to myself?What was going through my head at the time?I've blown it.That's the end of the relationship.He doesn't love me anymore and he's going to leave me.The one most associated with the activated event is what you write down."Afrid, lonely, Hurt.""Afraid" is spelled with it.Take a look at what you've written and see if there are any styles you might have used."Catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions, black and white thinking."
Step 3: Take the truth of the thought and test it.
There are two columns under the negative thought, one to list evidence for it and another for evidence against it.If you fill in the columns, you can see if there is any truth to your negative thought.The "Evidence for" column might say: "He got really angry and red in the face and walked out of the house."He didn't call me during his lunch break.The "Evidence against" column might say, "We've fought before, worse than this, and we can always talk it out."He told me that when he gets angry, he takes a while to cool down, but he's willing to compromise.He told me earlier this week that he wouldn't be able to call me during lunch because he had meetings all day.He's committed to making our marriage work no matter what.It's unusual for us to fight.You can look at your thoughts objectively with this process.You analyze, assess, and evaluate your thoughts to see if they have any basis in truth.
Step 4: The negative thought needs to be challenged.
You can ask yourself questions about the negative thought and record your answers in a thought journal.How would I view the situation if I didn't feel this way?What is the likelihood of that happening?Someone else might view the situation differently.Is it helpful to think this way?There are some helpful self-statements.
Step 5: A daily gratitude list can be made.
Think of five large or small things that you are grateful for, from the roof over your head to the smile from a stranger on the bus.Expressing gratitude can lead to positive feelings.Writing a thank you note is one of the ways to express gratitude.
Step 6: You can make a list of your positive attributes.
You may struggle at first, but once you get going, you will surprise yourself with how long your list is.It's a good idea to include physical attributes, aspects of your personality, and things you're good at.Ask trusted friends and family members what they think about you.Keep your list in a place where it is easy to find, like in the drawer of your bedside table, or in your diary.Refer to it when you're stuck with negative thoughts.
Step 7: Reframe your thoughts.
Don't believe negative thoughts when they pop up.It's too early to tell if the negative thought is positive, supportive and encouraging.I think I did better than I thought.It will become easier for you to see things in a positive light when you consciously and deliberately interrupt your negative thoughts.Remember that events don't cause feelings, first you have to think about them.It is more likely that you will experience positive or neutral emotions if you train yourself to respond with positive thoughts.
Step 8: You should surround yourself with people who are positive.
Some of the characteristics of those around them are taken on by humans.Take what steps you can to minimize the presence of negative people in your life.Positive people will model behavior for you.
Step 9: A "worry period" is needed.
You can allow yourself to worry by setting aside a specific time and place each day.Pick a window of time early enough that you don't make yourself anxious just before bed.If you want to focus on them during your "worry period,"pone daily worries.If there is a negative thought, make a note and save it.You should spend your "worry period" going over the list you compiled.Cross off the thought if it's no longer relevant.Many of your earlier negative thoughts have dissipated and you don't need to worry about them at all.For the time being, allow yourself to worry, but only for the window of time you have set aside.
Step 10: Accept uncertainty.
Many people struggle with situations in which there is great uncertainty because they can't be certain about everything.Thinking about what could go wrong doesn't make life any more predictable, nor does it make you more prepared, because you spend time worrying instead of taking action.Accept that you don't know what will happen when you notice you are paralyzed by uncertainty.Don't chase the feeling down the path of worry.Turn your mind away from the future and towards the present.To bring yourself into the present moment, focus on your breathing and notice how different parts of your body feel.
Step 11: Seek opportunities to grow.
If you want to build upon your interests, you should research ways to substitute a positive narrative for the negative thoughts you've told yourself in the past.A new skill or hobby can be developed.It's okay to recognize that learning involves mistakes.
Step 12: Problem-solving can be used to identify solution-oriented actions.
Eliminating the source of stress is one way to tackle your negative thoughts.If you are unemployed, you can use problem-solving to find a solution.You can say to yourself, "I found a job before I was laid off", since your negative comes from your unemployment.If I put myself out there and start looking, I can find another one.Search for jobs online, make cold calls, and look at the classified ads in the newspaper are some of the things you can do to solve the problem.Start doing them!When you get a negative thought, remind yourself that you have an action plan and are working on a solution.
Step 13: Practice being present.
It is a form of meditation that calls attention to the present moment and asks you to experience it without judgement.You don't try to fight your negative thoughts, but you do not engage them either.You acknowledge their existence by naming them.Try not to judge or react.It's easier to break out of old thought patterns with the benefits ofMindfulness.If you focus on the present instead of the future, you will be able to fully participate in your life.
Step 14: Try progressive muscle relaxation.
You walk around with your body tensed and don't even realize it because of your negative thoughts.It is possible to identify when you are becoming anxious and tense by learning to relax your muscles.Lower tension and stress, improve sleep, and reduce stomachaches and headaches are some of the benefits of progressive muscle relaxation.
Step 15: Deep breathing can be used to combat stress.
It is possible to change your physical and emotional response to stress by practicing focused breathing.It can take as little as six seconds to stop your stress response.Close your eyes and relax your shoulders when you start to feel stressed.There are holes in the bottoms of your feet.Imagine hot air entering your body through the holes and flowing upwards to fill your lungs.As you imagine the air passing through your body, relax each muscle.Think of the air exiting through the holes in your feet when you exhale and reverse the visualization.
Step 16: Have a cold beverage.
If your negative thoughts are related to loneliness, this can be an effective short-term tactic.Physical warmth can be used as a substitute for emotional warmth.Don't let warm drinks become a substitute for human interaction, but if you need a quick pick-me-up a cup of tea might be helpful.
Step 17: Use what you've learned.
Do the work in your thought diary when you experience fear, stress, or negative thoughts.Test the verity of the thought, identify the unhelpful thinking style, and challenge what it's telling you.Everyone has negative thoughts, and you can't control what pops into your head.Addressing and challenging these thoughts will allow you to see that they are thoughts, not truths, and dismiss them so you can go about your day.