Don't feel like you're alone because all parents struggle with disobedience.Make sure your rules are clear and specific.If your kids disobey, be sure to impose immediate consequences that relate to their behavior.You should encourage good decisions with praise and small rewards if you want to correct misbehavior in the moment.
Step 1: Define and explain family rules.
Instead of vague rules, set specific rules.If you give your child a negative rule and a positive instruction, they will know what kind of behavior you expect.Other examples include no hurting.Don't yell in the house.Make sure the child knows what consequences are ahead of time.Follow through with the consequences if they violate the rules.
Step 2: Family rules can be set with any co- parents.
It's important that you and any co-parents act as a united front.Try to come up with a compromise if you and a co-parent enforce rules differently.You might work a few days a week at night.Your partner allows your kids to stay up late.Our rules need to be clear and consistent, and a set sleeping routine is important.Children will not follow our rules if we are not on the same page.Explain to the other parent how consistency helps avoid confusion for children.Agreeing on compromise is a priority.
Step 3: At a time to younger children, introduce no more than 2 to 3 new rules.
There are too many rules at once for toddlers and preschoolers to learn.Apply 2 or 3 rules consistently for a couple of weeks.When your child understands the first set, introduce additional rules.There are 3 priority levels for rules.Safety begins with no running with scissors, followed by rules about not hurting people or property, and polite or calm behavior.
Step 4: Allow natural consequences to teach your child lessons.
Natural consequences of undesirable behaviors are useful teaching tools.Natural consequences teach teens how to make responsible, adult decisions and help younger children learn about causes and effects.If a younger child breaks a toy, don't replace it.If they break their toys, they won't have anything to play with.Natural consequences shouldn't put a child's health or safety at risk.They should not be allowed to run around with scissors to teach them a lesson or not give them food because they didn't wash their hands before eating.
Step 5: If necessary, come up with reasonable consequences.
Sometimes, bad behavior doesn't cause bad consequences.You will have to impose your own consequences in these cases.If your child stole a toy from a sibling or friend, have them write an apology letter and do chores to make up.If they get an allowance, they need to pay off the value of the item they stole.If you put your child in time-out, sit them in a naughty chair, and make sure they can't access any form of entertainment.They will have access to their toys, games, and other fun belongings, so don't send them to the room.Explain to your child the consequences of their choices.Discuss what a better choice would have been.
Step 6: When you warn your kids about consequences, give them choices.
Threatening kids with punishment can encourage defiance.If they don't make the right choice, warn them of what will happen.This strategy can be used for both natural consequences and consequences you impose.For example, if you play rough with your toys, you won't have anything to play with, we'll leave, or you should stop arguing about what to watch on TV.Let the natural consequence occur or impose your consequence if they don't make the right decision.
Step 7: Contribute immediate, reasonable, related consequences.
The consequences of a bad decision are more effective than punishments.Deliver consequences in the moment to reinforce the connection between cause and effect.If your child draws on the walls, take the crayons away and make them clean up the mess as soon as you catch them.If they hit a sibling, put them in a time-out.
Step 8: When you give instructions, make eye contact and ask for a reply.
Younger kids tend to be more focused on playing when they are busy.They might not have heard you if they are not listening.If you don't want to shout a command across the house, kneel down to their level, look them in the eye, and state your instructions.Say, "It's time for lunch" if you get on their level.You should wash your hands and come to the table.The child should be asked to repeat what you said.They can be encouraged to listen and respond appropriately.
Step 9: Praise good behavior as much as possible.
Positive reinforcement is a more effective way to promote good behavior.They made good decisions at every opportunity.Small rewards, such as toys or sweets, can be offered to reward them for following directions.Good behavior can be promoted by using reward charts.If they are supposed to take the garbage out every day, they should put a gold star on a calendar.They got a small toy after a week of gold stars.
Step 10: Instead of long lectures, give short, simple commands.
Kids listen to speeches after a few words.Try not to say anything when you have to issue a command, remind them of a chore, or change their behavior.If they are told to put away clean plates from the dishwasher, just say, "Plates," instead of lecturing them about doing their chores.When introducing rules, a short explanation is helpful.Try not to say anything more than 1 or 2 words.
Step 11: It's possible to turn chores into games.
It's possible to get stubborn kids to obey instructions by turning tasks into a game.Set a timer and challenge your child to a game if they never put away their toys.At the end of the challenge, give them a small prize to encourage them to play the clean up game.
Step 12: Don't yell at them to stop crying.
Shouting at your child to stop isn't going to help if they're throwing a tantrum.When they are quiet enough to hear you speak, try to soothe them.Help them express their frustration by acknowledging their feelings and using words.A sibling taking a toy could cause your kid to scream.Say something like, "Well you seem very upset" instead of "Stop crying!"Ask them why they are upset after acknowledging their frustration.Work together to come up with a solution when you ask, "How can we make this better?"If they took their sibling's toy, you could set a timer and have them take turns.Give them time alone or give them a hug.
Step 13: Negotiating the details with them is the best way to set clear goals and rules.
Teens are more likely to obey rules if they have the chance to voice their opinion.Your teen should make their own decisions about how and when to meet their goals, even though you should set the rules and have the final say.Make sure they study and clean their room, but allow them to complete these tasks by a given time.You have to clean your room, but you don't need to do it right now.Get it done by the end of the weekend.
Step 14: Follow your own rules and model positive behavior.
Teens look to your example more than younger kids, even if it doesn't seem like they pay attention.It's okay for your teen to break the family rules if you don't follow them.Put away your own phone if you don't want your teen to use it during dinner.When your teenager is acting rude, don't react emotionally.As your teen may see this as a way to get your attention or they may use it to manipulate you, do not yell, scream, or cry.Stay calm.A clear and even voice is what you can use to express your disappointment.
Step 15: Praise your teenager if they do well.
Positive reinforcement can help improve teenagers' self-esteem.Let your teenager know when you are proud of them by thanking them when they do some around the house.Say thank you if your teenager washes the dishes.That was a huge help.You might say "I'm really proud of you" if your teenager gets a good grade.I am aware that you worked hard and it paid off.
Step 16: Natural consequences are made with your core tools.
Teens have to learn how to hold themselves accountable for their actions.If they made poor decisions as adults, the consequences for disobedience should mirror what would happen.Your teen might have gotten into a fender-bender because they were texting on their phone.If they don't have a car, have them get a part-time job so they can pay for repairs.You can either get them a phone without texting or remove web access from it.Don't rescue your teenage when they encounter obstacles.Learning experiences can be valuable for them.Don't give them a new phone if they lose it.
Step 17: Ensure your teen gets enough sleep.
Teens don't get their recommended 9 to 10 hours of sleep nightly because they need food to fuel their growth.If your teen is acting up, they may not be getting enough sleep or calories.They should have a healthy breakfast before they leave for school, like Greek yogurt with fruit or fortified cereals.Help them prepare healthy lunches and dinners outside of school by encouraging them to go to the cafeteria.They can help you cook dinner and teach you how to cook healthy meals.Ensure they go to bed as early as possible and have regular conversations about the importance of proper eating and sleeping habits.