How To Get Your Ex Back Even if He Is Saying Never
If you missed out on the chance to continue an amazing relationship, there is nothing worse than that.Even if he says it won't happen, you can still try to win him back even if you hurt him.To show him that things can be even better if you get back together, the key is to treat him with respect, not overwhelm him, and to remind him of what a great relationship you had.
Step 1: Get some distance.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to step back and get a bit of perspective.If your ex is saying you will never get back together, you shouldn't try to force it or make the situation worse.Getting some distance from the situation will give you a better idea of what went wrong and how to fix it.If you want to think more rationally about the situation, take at least a week to cool off.If you want to deal with your feelings, take this time to be on your own.You can approach the situation with a plan and less intensity.
Step 2: Make sure you want this to work.
When you take some time away from your boyfriend, you need to ask yourself if getting him back is what you want.He may have a good reason for saying you will never get back together, whether it is because you did something to break his trust or he is just not emotional.If you really want to get someone who is saying never back, you have to understand that you are setting yourself up for a challenge and that it has to be worth it.You don't want to sign up for a failed mission.If you think there is no chance that you will get your ex back, you have to ask yourself if you are just setting yourself up to get crushed again.If you think your ex and you are meant to be together and that you were driven apart because of a misunderstanding, then you should get ready to make things work again.
Step 3: What went wrong?
If you want to win your ex back, you have to understand that the relationship went sour in the first place.Whatever the issue, you have to make sure it isn't an irreconcilable difference but something that can be fixed.You can't make things better until you understand the problem.If the problem was an irreconcilable difference, then you have to ask yourself if there is a way for you and your ex to move on.Think hard and long.When your boyfriend saw things differently, you may think that the real issue in the relationship was one thing.The real reason you broke up is because your boyfriend felt like you weren't opening yourself up to him.
Step 4: Improve yourself first.
Some personal issues may have been one of the reasons you broke up.If you are dealing with insecurity, a lack of communication skills, the inability to open up, or any other factors that can keep you from really enjoying a relationship, then you have to work on improving those things about yourself first.It can take a long time, but it will make you ready for a healthy relationship with your ex.You cannot be happy in a relationship if you are not happy with yourself.Before you can share that person with someone, you need to feel happy with them.If you want to be in a relationship, you have to let your confidence come from within, not from another person, or you will only be disappointed in yourself when your next relationship is over.
Step 5: Get some help.
If you feel lost or confused about what happened between you and your ex, then you should turn to a trusted friend.If you and your friend know each other, he or she can help you find the best way to get your ex back.Even if you don't want to hear the truth, having another perspective on your relationship can help you see things you have not seen before.Talking to someone about your situation can help you feel more confident.
Step 6: Wait until your ex is ready to talk again.
If he really can't stand the sight of you, you want to be careful about rushing things to get your ex back.If you hurt him and he can't see you in the eye, then it's not a good time to talk to him.If you can see that he is comfortable talking to you or at least saying hi, then you may be able to move forward.If you feel like he won't talk to you until you show him how sorry you are, then you may want to write him a letter.The intensity of negative feelings can be lessened by time.If you let enough time go by for him to forget or not care about some of his feelings towards you, your chances of making it work will improve.
Step 7: You can have a great time without him.
If you want to get your ex interested in you again, you have to convince him that you don't need him to be happy.Though this may seem like a contradiction, acting like you are having a great time without your ex can actually make him jealous and wish he was with you again.It doesn't have to be obvious to make him see that you're capable without him.If you are hanging out with your girlfriends and your ex is in the same room, try not to act like you care about what he thinks of you.Don't look his way, enjoy your conversations, and have a great time.You shouldn't fake a laugh just to make him jealous, you should be open to cracking up and having a great time without him even if he's watching.Try to look better when you walk by your ex if you are by yourself.You do not want him to think that you are mopey without him.
Step 8: Make him jealous.
There is nothing wrong with having a bit of fun with the other guys who come your way because you don't need to make your ex feel jealous.Don't be afraid to post pictures of you with your guy friends on social media or to stop talking to other guys if your ex is around, instead of avoiding them in the hopes that he will come up to you.If you make it clear that flirting isn't going to lead anywhere, you can use other guys who like you to make your ex jealous.Even if the guy you are hanging out with is just a friend, there is no harm in having fun with him and cracking up.
Step 9: Spend time with him again.
You can introduce yourself to your ex if you start talking again.You can start by saying hello from across the hall or just talking to him at the same party and it will lead to a coffee and a walk together.You don't need to talk about why your relationship ended when you're just trying to get on solid footing again.If you are comfortable hanging out with your ex in a group, then you can see if spending time alone is the best way to move forward.When you are talking again, read your ex's body language.He may not be ready to start spending time together again if he turns away from you, keeps his arms crossed over his chest, or refuses to make eye contact.
Step 10: If you got back together, things will be different.
If you and your ex do get back together, you have to make sure he knows that your relationship won't go away if you do.If he thinks that you will fall into the same bad habits if you get back together, then he will be less likely to want to travel.If your main issue was communication, then you should be open with each other.If he thought you were clingy, make sure you give him some space.It is possible to remind him of the best parts of your relationship, like how you could make each other laugh for hours or the fun conversations you had over the phone.
Step 11: If he is interested, you should see it.
It is important for you to know where your ex's head is before you date him again.Since he said it wouldn't happen earlier, you have to make sure his mindset has changed before you try to win him over again.You have to be aware of the signs that indicate whether or not he is ready to have you back, or even to try to date you again.If he seems excited to see you when you walk in the room, if his face lights up when he sees you, and if he is reluctant to end any conversations you are having.
Step 12: Start dating him again.
If your ex is excited about dating you again, you can have an open discussion about how to make it work.If you start kissing before you really talk about where you are, you will be confused.You have to get ready to rebuild your relationship if you decide to start dating again.Don't put too much pressure on yourself.The relationship doesn't have to be perfect, though you should approach it with optimism and the desire to make things work.If you want to start, hang out in low-pressure settings instead of going public.You don't have to tell everyone that you're back together until you feel confident about where the relationship is going.
Step 13: Start slow.
You have to remember to let things move at a natural pace, even though you may be excited that you and your ex are trying to make things work again.You may be rushing things if you try to pick up where you left off.Take the time to get to know each other and act like you are just dating for the first time.At first, don't do anything too intense.You do not need your boyfriend to hang out with all of your friends, spend time with your family, or go away on a weekend trip with you.First, build a strong foundation for your relationship.Make sure you keep your independence.Don't hang out with your boyfriend 24/7.Don't talk too much about your feelings for your boyfriend.You don't want to make him feel like things are moving too fast.
Step 14: You should have an open flow of communication.
Without healthy communication a relationship can't survive.Whether poor communication was the main reason you and your boyfriend broke up the first time, or just a side effect of a larger problem, you should make a point of having strong communication this time.If something is bothering you, make sure you address it, instead of being passive aggressive, and learn to read your boyfriend's facial expressions and body language to find out whether it is wrong.
Step 15: If you have unresolved issues, deal with them.
You have to put the past behind you and learn from it if you want to enjoy your relationship again.If you want to get your ex back, you have to really work through your problems in order to come out stronger on the other side, and this is the only way to do that.Discuss the reasons your relationship ended the first time.Make sure to be honest when answering any questions from your boyfriend.If you are still unsure about what went wrong, you should ask your boyfriend about it.You want to know where you are in the relationship.If you broke up with your boyfriend because of personal issues, make sure he has a plan for dealing with them.
Step 16: It's important to still be yourself.
If you want your ex to like you again, you have to make sure you stay true to who you are and that you don't turn into a different person.At the end of the day, you want him to like you for who you are, not for what you think will appeal to your boyfriend.While working on addressing the issues that kept your relationship from succeeding the first time around, make sure to still be yourself.If you feel like you are acting like yourself just to please your boyfriend, then you have a real problem on your hands.One of your friends should be able to tell you if you are being true to yourself.If you are acting like yourself in your relationship, your friend may be able to tell you more.
Step 17: Stay in the present.
If you want your relationship to work this time, then you have to stop living in the past.You might have made mistakes, but if you keep reliving them, you won't be able to move past them.You won't be able to enjoy the present moment together if you focus too much on the future or worry about how long your relationship will last.It's important to focus on getting a fresh start.If you want to build a strong relationship in the now, put as much of the past behind you as you can.If something serious happened in your past with someone, then you don't have to pretend that it did not happen at all.You can address it when it is necessary, but not fixate on it.If you bring up the future too often with your boyfriend, he may get anxious or feel suffocated, which may make him think that you don't like your relationship as it currently stands.
Step 18: Don't make the same mistakes.
If you want your relationship to be strong this time around, you have to remember what made you drift apart the first time.You can address the same situations in different ways, or you will fall back into fighting, not really getting each other, and feeling like you just can't make things work no matter what you do.If your issue was not spending enough time together, for example, then make sure you don't book up your social calendar and leave out your boyfriend this time around.Though you don't want to relive the past all the time, you should both be on the same page about how to move forward and avoid what happened the first time around.You should be able to say, "Hey, remember how much trouble we had with this the first time around?"You both may fall into old habits if you don't find a way to move past it.You should apologize and show that you really mean it if that does happen.
Step 19: Know when it isn't working.
If you win your ex over again and find that things aren't changing for the better, you have to ask yourself if it's worth it to try to revive your relationship.If you feel like you have put in so much effort that your boyfriend isn't putting in the work or you're just not compatible, then it's time to part ways.Tell yourself the truth.Do you feel like you've given it your all and it's not working?If that is the case, you should be proud of yourself for getting ready to move on.Don't look at the end of your relationship as a waste of time or emotional effort.No matter what happens in your next relationship, you will have more strength and knowledge because every relationship helps you learn how to communicate and deal with problems.