It's understandable if you stay friends after a break-up.It's natural to want to hold onto that connection when someone is important to you.This can be difficult.Give each other time to get used to it.You can manage your emotions by reminding yourself that the relationship is over.You should keep your emotions in check as you move forward.
Step 1: First of all, agree to give each other space.
For the first few weeks or months after a break up, space is important.You'll both be too emotional if you jump straight into friendship.If you agree to a set period of time to stop or minimize contact, feelings of attraction, romance, and resentment can be washed away.How much time you give is up to you.Some people are ready for friendship in a few weeks, while others are not.Longer relationships typically require longer periods of limited contact, and how much time you spent in the relationship will have an effect.
Step 2: To pursue a friendship, wait until there is no unfinished business.
It's difficult to stay friends with an ex because people don't think the relationship is over.It's not the right time to be friends if you feel like you have more to say.You should wait until you feel better after the break up.Before you can be friends, you should have a discussion with your ex about any loose ends after you break up.Tie up loose ends that are practical.If you lived together, wait until your lives are completely different before starting a friendship.
Step 3: Be aware of your feelings.
It is important to have boundaries in any relationship.Establishing firm boundaries with an ex is dependent on your own feelings and limitations.It's a good idea to think about how your ex makes you feel and what kind of contact you're comfortable with.What kind of contact makes you feel bad?You might not like discussing your ex's new relationships.Maybe you don't like that your ex still calls you by your pet name.It's a good idea to ask someone to stop or tone down their behavior.
Step 4: Talk about boundaries.
You can find a calm place to sit down and talk about your boundaries with a friend.Let your ex know what type of contact is still appropriate, and let them share their feelings as well.It's best to state your boundaries completely."I'll eventually be fine with hearing about your romantic life, but I really need space from that right now."Let's not talk about it.
Step 5: Care for yourself.
Even if it's for the best, setting boundaries after a break up can hurt.Contacts will be less frequent and certain topics can sting.After setting boundaries, do something nice for yourself.You can go for a walk, watch a movie, or make plans with friends.Doing something nice for yourself may help you forget about the break up.This may help you recover sooner.
Step 6: It's time to let go of the hopes you have for a relationship.
It's time to remind yourself that the relationship is over.Sometimes staying friends with an ex can keep the hope of a relationship alive.You need to let go of any dreams you had for the relationship because you are exes for a reason.Don't fantasize about your future together."We're not together anymore, and that isn't going to happen."If you want a friendship, replace your hopes for a romantic relationship.Think about how you can support each other as friends.
Step 7: Don't let your differences get in the way of embracing them.
Different lifestyles and world views can cause a break up.You can appreciate the differences more now that you're friends.You're free to embrace the positives of having a friend who's different from you instead of fretting about compatibility.If you live together and your friend likes to sleep with the fan on, it could affect your relationship.
Step 8: If you're feeling bad, call it off.
Sometimes it's okay to take a step back.As you pursue a friendship, be aware of your feelings.It's okay to slow things down if you feel drained or strained when hanging out.Be open about it."Hey, I'm still feeling a little sad when we hang out."For a week or two, let's stick to long distance communication.You should respect your ex's feelings.Obey any requests they make for space if they're struggling with the idea of staying friends.
Step 9: It's a good idea to manage feelings of attraction.
Don't try to feed into the feelings of being attracted to someone after a break up.It's hard to stay friends if you're still having sex.Some exes can be friends with benefits after a period of time.It's not a good idea to pursue attraction after a relationship has ended.If you decide to get physical again in the future, you should have a clear idea of what it means for your relationship.
Step 10: Stay out of each other's way.
With delicate relationships, boundaries are more important than ever.You and your ex need to be respectful of each other's boundaries.Let your ex know what you need from them, and make sure you're not breaking any rules.If you're more or less comfortable with something, let your ex know."I know I didn't want to discuss your dating life at first, but I feel more comfortable with that now."If you wanted to discuss it, I'd be happy to do so.
Step 11: Get your family and friends on board.
It's easier to be friends with an ex if your friends and family are on board.It's okay to invite your friends to the same events if you know they are still friends.When you and your ex are in the same room, make sure people know there is no need to be weird or uncomfortable.It's a good idea to be open with friends and family.I'm okay being friends with my ex, but not with their new partner.I don't want my partner to attend events with me.
Step 12: New partners should be comfortable with the friendship.
Your relationship with your ex can be complicated by a new romantic relationship.Let your partner know you used to date.Make sure your partner knows that the relationship is over and that you are friends now.It's a good idea to give your partner reassurance after you hang out with your ex.
Step 13: If you can't manage your emotions, end the friendship.
It's okay to walk away if the relationship is not working.You may argue with your ex when you get together.While your ex ignores you, you may be the one putting in all the effort.It's okay to let go of a relationship that is draining.People can't stay friends with their exes.