How To Have a Better Relationship With a Younger Brother
You might not always get along with your younger brother.There are a lot of things you can do if you want to improve your relationship.Start by improving your communication with him and increasing the amount of quality time you spend together so that you will have lots of happy memories to share as you both grow older.Dealing with conflict in a productive way is possible.Your relationship with your brother will improve with time and effort.
Step 1: Listen.
One way to communicate effectively with your brother is by being a good listener.Wait until your brother is done speaking.Ask him to clarify if you don't understand what he's saying.Maintaining eye contact with your brother is one way to be a good listener.Nodding and making neutral statements such as "Yes," "I see," and "Go on."
Step 2: Say hello or ask how he's doing.
If your brother has a cell phone, you could send him text messages to keep in touch.If you don't have time for a long conversation, this is a great way to let him know you're thinking about him.You could text your brother, "Hey, Joey!"You could say, "Did you see the new superhero movie yet?"
Step 3: If you think your brother knows, tell him that you care for him.
Sometimes part of the problem in sibling relationships is that one sibling doesn't tell the other that they care enough, and this can cause them to feel unlikable.If you are certain that your brother knows you love him and would do anything for him, make sure to tell him.You could say "I love you" before you say goodbye to your brother.You could say, "I'm so proud of you, little bro!" for an everyday declaration of affection.
Step 4: It's a good idea to express yourself to your brother in a non-judgmental way.
In a situation where you need to assert yourself, do so in a way that doesn't blame your brother.Don't make assumptions about your brother in the process and use an "I" statement to express yourself.You can say things like, "I feel sad when I tell you about my day and you don't listen" or "It is frustrating when you clean the bathroom and it's messy again a few hours later."Let's work together to keep it clean in the future.
Step 5: Share your dreams with your brother.
If you feel like you don't know much about what your brother wants out of life, start by sharing your own hopes and dreams with him.Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your brother can make him feel more comfortable opening up to you as well.You might say, "I really want to become a vet someday."You could say something like, "I hope that when I have a family, I can take them on lots of family trips like we went on with our parents."Inquire about your brother's hopes and dreams for the future, too.Say something like, "What do you want to do after you graduate?" or "Where would you like to live?"
Step 6: Don't make comparisons to your brother's accomplishments.
You and your brother may be good at different things.There's no point in making comparisons because this doesn't make either of you better than the other.Accept your brother's accomplishments for what they are.Congratulation to your brother, who just earned his GED.You shouldn't compare his achievements to your own.If you have a black belt in karate and your brother just earned a purple belt, earning the new belt is still an important accomplishment for him.Tell him that!
Step 7: Do fun things.
One way to increase the positive feelings between you is to have fun with your brother.Whenever you are with your brother, take some time to do something you enjoy.This will allow you to create happy memories that you can look back on for a long time.You can build a pillow fort in your living room, go for a bike ride, or play a game together.Show your interest in your brother's favorite game or hobby.If you don't know how to play the game, ask your younger brother to show you how.
Step 8: There are ways to work with your brother.
Team-building activities can strengthen your bond with your younger brother.Look for opportunities to work with your brother.This can be a small, everyday task, such as cleaning the living room, or a big once in a lifetime activity like planning a special birthday party for a parent or another sibling.You could help your brother with his homework, play a video or board game with him, or ask for his help with a personal problem, if you wanted to.
Step 9: Encourage your brother to do well.
Don't let your brother know that you're proud of him.When he encounters a challenge, encourage him.Say something like, "Way to go, buddy!" if your brother gets an A on a big math test.You might say something like, "I know it's hard to lose a game, but you played your best and I am proud of you for all of that hard work", if your brother loses a soccer game.
Step 10: Random acts of kindness.
This will let your brother know that you are thinking of him even if you aren't.You can surprise your brother with a small treat, gift, or act of kindness.You could surprise your brother at school or work with his favorite lunch, send him a care package, or take care of a chore when he's having a hard day.
Step 11: If your brother gets hurt, console him.
Showing someone you care is an important way toNurturing.If your brother is hurt, do your best to console him.Give him a hug or pat him on the back.Shame him if he gets upset.If your brother falls and hurts his knee, help him up and take him to the hospital.If your brother is hurt by someone, listen to him and let him cry.Let him know that you are with him.
Step 12: Don't be a bully or a parent for your brother.
Try not to boss your brother around.It's important that your brother feels like he can trust you, so make sure to demonstrate that you are trustworthy.Don't judge, tease or boss your brother.Just like a close friend, show him genuine kindness and be there for him.
Step 13: If you're upset with your brother, take a few minutes to calm down.
Give yourself a few minutes to calm down and deal with your anger.If you can, take a walk or excuse yourself to another room.Breathing deeply for a few minutes will help you calm down.Say something like, "I'll be back in a few minutes."Let's talk.
Step 14: You should acknowledge your role in the conflict.
Taking responsibility for your role in an argument can be a great way to get your brother to acknowledge your responsibility as well.Say to your brother what you could have said differently.You could say, "I shouldn't have borrowed your skateboard without asking."I will try to be better next time.
Step 15: If you want to smooth things over, apologize.
It's important to apologize if you did something wrong.If you say, "I'm sorry," it will help to smooth things over between you and your brother.If the conflict between you and your brother was something that both of you played a part in, you can be the first to apologize.Your apology needs to acknowledge that what you did was wrong and that you won't do it again.Say something like, "I'm sorry, I called you dumb."I did not mean it.I will be more careful about what I say in the future.
Step 16: Look for win-win solutions.
If there is a difficult situation with your brother, try to find a solution.What could you do that would satisfy both of you?Sometimes this can be hard to figure out, so you might need the help of an impartial friend or family member.If you had a fight with your brother over who would use the computer, you could work together to come up with a schedule that would divide the time evenly.
Step 17: Don't talk about topics that will upset you both.
Every relationship has hot-button issues that should be left untouched.Maybe you had an argument with your brother over something, or maybe you just know that bringing up a specific topic will upset him.Whenever you talk with your brother, avoid these topics.If your brother claims that you lost his favorite video game when he lent it to you, don't bring it up.Don't discuss politics with your brother if he gets angry.