How To Have Fun in Bed With Your Partner Without Sex
Abstinence means different things to different people, for example, it means enjoying sex with your partner without going all the way.Abstinence means absolutely no sexual contact for others.There is a whole spectrum of different levels of abstinence between the two extremes.Even if you are on the other side of the spectrum, you can still have fun in bed.
Step 1: Be aware of what being Abstinent means to you.
Does it mean anything other than sexual intercourse?Is it just kissing and cuddling?It will be easier for you and your partner to hold off on having sex until you are both ready.
Step 2: You can explore your own feelings about the relationship.
You can write these down on a piece of paper, in your journal, or in a text document on your computer.Don't be afraid to be completely honest, this is only for you.What would the perfect relationship look like for you?Are you currently in it?What do you like about your partner?Is she a kind person?Is it supportive?It's funny?Smart?Are you physically fit?If you want to be in a relationship beyond sex, you should tell your partner what you like about him/her; they should understand that it is not about them.
Step 3: Things will get sexual if the subject is not broached.
It can be hard to think clearly in the heat of the moment.Before you become too intimate, make the decision to talk about Abstinence together.Things will be easier for you and your partner in the long run if you clearly state your boundaries early on.
Step 4: Explain your concerns in a respectful way.
Depending on your age and experience, a discussion between 30 year olds and teens will be different.Regardless of your demographic, be respectful.A younger, less mature boy might have difficulty dealing with a serious conversation.It is possible to bring it up ahead of time, for example, "I want to talk to you about something serious, but it is not bad."Before you talk to him, make sure he isn't hungry or upset.Try to talk to him while you walk together.Guys think better when they are active.He will feel less stressed and trapped if you walk as you talk.Don't look.It's a good thing that you are looking straight ahead while walking.If you stare into your partner's eyes while talking about something serious, he may shut down and stop communicating with you.Let him know that you care.He needs to know how much you like him and how happy you are in the relationship.Make sure he knows that you two are on the same team.You are talking to him because you want him to know your wants and needs, and you are open to hearing him as well.
Step 5: Be respectful.
If you bring up abstinence for the first time with your partner, he/she may be surprised.It's important that you both communicate in an open and respectful manner, because he/she may have a lot of questions.If your partner has a lot of questions, don't be defensive.He/she may be trying to understand where you are coming from.If you are in a healthy relationship, you should be able to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your partner.Stay calm if your partner is upset with you.It might be necessary to leave him alone and give him some time to process what you've said.
Step 6: Don't let it drag on for too long.
It can be exhausting to have a serious talk.If possible, don't let the talk go on for more than an hour.You are more likely to say things you don't mean when you are exhausted.If you and your partner are tired, make a date to continue the discussion later.If you don't want to leave each other's presence, you can agree to put the discussion on hold until you both have more energy to return to it.
Step 7: Allow your partner time to process and respond.
It may take some time for your partner to process what you have said and come back to you with his/her own questions and answers.If he/she does not respond immediately, don't worry.He/she may need some time to process what you have said.It could take your partner a few days or even weeks to think about what you have said.When he/she isn't ready to give you a response, give him/her the time he needs to process his feelings.
Step 8: There are other ways to be close with your partner.
You will be close with your partner for a lot more than having sex.You can build closeness and trust in the relationship by talking, listening, sharing, respecting each other's ideas, and hanging out/taking pleasure in each others' company.If your partner tells you that sex is the only way to be close, you may want to consider whether the relationship is really what you want.
Step 9: There is a board game in the bed.
It can be fun to do non-sexual things with your partner.Playing a board game in bed is a great way to bond with your partner.
Step 10: You should read each other's stories.
Next to each other fully clothed, propped up on pillows, take turns reading.It's possible to choose which book you read.Your level of comfort affects how close you sit.Stay above the covers while sitting next to each other if you are worried about it turning sexual.You could sit on the opposite side of the bed.It is possible to read each other romantic stories for a sexy twist.
Step 11: Listen to music together.
Someone is sitting in bed listening to music.Take a look at the lyrics.Don't go further than simply holding hands or cuddling up close if you want to enjoy the close proximity of your partner's body.
Step 12: Do surveys together.
You can ask your partner questions on the Internet, or write them out for each other.If you want to read the responses, you need to sit on opposite sides of the bed, each with a clipboard, and fill out your answers.
Step 13: You can watch a movie.
You can watch a movie in bed with some snacks and lots of pillows.If you're worried that it will turn into a make-out session, place some pillows between you and use separate blankets.It is okay to say that being separated by pillows and blankets doesn't work and ask your partner if he/she is into doing something else that makes your urges easier to resist.
Step 14: You should make a fort.
Put your bed in a fort.Add some lights and blankets.When it is done, you can sit inside and watch a movie.
Step 15: Don't allow it to go further.
It can be hard to resist the urge to do more than just cuddle when you are close to your partner.If you find yourself thinking about moving away from your partner, consider moving to a different location.If you are worried about offending your partner by moving away from them, you could make up an excuse for wanting to move, for example, "My back hurts sitting here, let's move over to the couch in the living room" or "Hey I'm feeling a bit restless
Step 16: At any time, you can say no.
It is okay to stop and say that you don't feel comfortable continuing if you end up making out.Your partner should listen to you.If your partner tries to convince you to go further than you have set, you may want to consider whether he/she is worth the relationship.It's okay for your partner to check in with you now and then, but he/she shouldn't make you feel bad.
Step 17: Don't think all-or-nothing.
Without sexual intercourse, you and your partner can be intimate.Don't have sexual intercourse if you're not comfortable making out.You don't owe it to your partner.Don't let anyone define your boundaries for you.Do what you are comfortable with.
Step 18: Touch each other in other ways.
Hold hands, hug, or sit close to each other.It's great to be close to one another without having to go any further.
Step 19: Work on kissing.
Taking time to kiss each other.Try out the different methods after you search for "how to kiss".Don't take yourself too seriously.When the kisses are awkward, laugh!You can build intimacy by experimenting with what doesn't work.
Step 20: They should each get a full-body massage.
Take turns massaging each other's bodies using scented oil or lotion.If you don't want to go further than that, you can just massage one another's neck and backs.
Step 21: Make out with rules.
Setting rules will help you stick to your boundaries and make things more sexy.An example of a rule would be that neither of you can remove clothing.No hands below the waist is a possible rule.
Step 22: Take a look at each other's bodies.
Touch and kiss the areas of your partner's body that don't get much attention during sex, for example, his/her legs, stomach, or back.Take time to explore your partner's body and build a physical relationship that doesn't depend on sexual intercourse.
Step 23: Together, explore your own bodies.
You can do this in many different ways.You might agree not to touch each other, and then sit across from one another and undress.If you want to take it up a notch, you could sit across from each other and touch yourselves, but with the rule that you are not allowed to touch one another.
Step 24: Draw them naked.
You can explore one another's bodies without touching each other.You can appreciate every detail of your partner's body if you do this.
Step 25: Do a boudoir photo shoot.
Take pictures of each other in bed.You can make this sexy or silly.There is an online search for 80s glamor shots.A funny boudoir photo shoot would involve wearing a fancy dress and a feather boa, posing on top of the bed, and making silly faces.Adding cats to a photo is a great way to make it funnier.
Step 26: Have fun on the phone.
It is possible to have a sexy phone call or text messaging session while you are both asleep.This could include sending sexy photos of each other, or having a full phone sex session.If you send sexy photos to your partner, be aware that they could end up in someone else's hands.Don't take the photo or keep your face out of it if you're worried about someone else seeing you in a vulnerable position.
Step 27: Think about how you will say no.
It is possible that your partner will try to convince you to have sex.You should anticipate your partner's possible responses so that they don't catch you off guard.It will be easier for you to articulate yourself if you know what you are going to say and how you will act.
Step 28: It is a good idea to remind yourself of why you are Abstinent.
You should remind yourself of your reasons for not having sex.It is possible to write them down in a journal once a week or whenever you are questioning your commitment to abstinence.When you are aroused with your partner, you can think of them to yourself.You can strengthen your resolve by reading other people's stories online.
Step 29: Have you considered the consequences of having sex?
If you are struggling to stay celibate in the heat of the moment, think about all the negative consequences of sex, such as sexually transmitted infections, and the regret you may have if you aren't ready for it when it happens.It is possible that if you have sex before you are ready, you will regret it.It is better for you to wait until you are sure if you want to have sex.
Step 30: If you make a decision with a clear head, you will only have sex.
You may decide to have sex with your partner as your relationship progresses.It is important that you do not make this decision in the heat of the moment.If you feel like you want to have sex in the heat of the moment, it may be time to take a break.When you are clear-headed, you can revisit your decision to have sex a few days later.You might want to talk it over with a friend, a close relative, or a nurse.If you decide to have sex, be sure to use condoms or birth control.If you want to use birth control, you have to go to a family planning clinic or see a doctor.
Step 31: Avoid situations that will make it difficult to stay out of trouble.
If you are at a party and your partner wants to go home with you, you may want to decline the offer.You are more likely to have sex if you drink alcohol.Maybe you know that if you are alone in your room with your partner, you end up making out and getting close to having sex.If you don't know if you can fight the urge to have sex, you might want to avoid this.
Step 32: Your friends will help you list them.
A friend will support you.If you want to stay out of trouble, talk to a friend.If you have other friends who want to stay out of trouble, make a promise to check in with each other.If you decide to confide in a friend about your relationship and your desire to remain celibate, make sure that it is a close friend who you know will support you and keep your secrets.It is useful to join an online community.There are online communities for people who are not having sex.You can search online for one that suits your needs.
Step 33: You shouldn't let your partner guilt you into having sex.
A healthy relationship involves partners treating one another with respect and love.Being a caring partner is your only obligation.You don't have to have sex with your partner.It doesn't mean that you have to jump into bed with your partner immediately.You have the right to wait until it feels right for you, and your partner needs to respect this.If you have previously had sex but are no longer having it, your desire to not have sex is still valid.Don't let anyone convince you that you should have sex against your will because you've had it before.