How To Help someone who is addicted to pornography.
Helping others change a behavior can be rewarding.You run the risk of losing the relationship if the person doesn't want your help.If a friend or loved one's pornography addiction causes him to neglect his relationships, work, school and other important things in life and he continues despite the negative consequences, then it is time to help.You can help someone manage a pornography addiction if you use tactics to ignite action, shape new ways of thinking and foster a healthy life-balance.
Step 1: To start action, talk about the problem.
A person with an addiction to pornography may have hidden it from others.The process of talking allows someone to tell the truth.Talking is used in many types of therapy.Allow the person to tell you his story if he tells you he has an addiction.He needs to know that he is being heard.If you notice a change in the person's behavior, you can say something like, "I've noticed you are spending a lot more time online, and you look like something is bothering you."Do you want to talk about it?Difficult subject matter can jeopardize a relationship.The root of addiction is Deceit.Do you think you are addicted to pornography?
Step 2: The person should be accountable.
When someone is interested in the outcome, people tend to rise to a challenge.When you can tell someone about your accomplishments, there is a tendency to believe in yourself.Results and effectiveness are increased by accountability.If a person is not living up to expectations, you can call them out and be the person who asks to be updated.The person will be helped by a process that will help end unhealthy behaviors.You can help the person be accountable by saying something like, "I want to help you with this so I'm going to check in with you and ask you how things are going."You need to make sure the person is committed to not deletion of his search histories.
Step 3: Don't add shame and guilt.
Most cultures have a sense of shame associated with an addiction to pornography.If a person is trying to change his behavior, shame and guilt is not helpful.Help the person find things that will change their behavior.When necessary, encourage a sense of right and wrong.Explain to him that he needs to separate himself from his behaviors.He is not a bad person, but his actions cause harm.If the addiction has hurt his relationships, you can say, "Your relationships are going to be better once you change your behavior."Life will be easier for you.It might not seem like it at first, but it will.I am not sure why you would want to do that.It doesn't make sense and it hurts everyone.
Step 4: Help him with his self-monitoring system.
Learning a new set of behaviors is needed to end an old behavior.The goal of ending an addiction to pornography is to find ways to cope with negative feelings.An effective way to manage behavior change is through a structured approach.The behavior should be identified.Discuss the behaviors the person would like to change.If the person stays up until 3:00 a.m. watching pornography and misses class or work in the morning, then he will need to change his sleeping schedule.Go to bed no later than 11:30 p.m. on weeknights.Help him design a system to change his behavior.Setting schedules for limited time using the computer, scheduling time to do outdoor activities, and writing about his feelings in a journal are some of the things that may be included.If he is depressed, anxious, stressed or suffering from low self-esteem, introduce relaxation techniques like yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises.Positive thoughts and behaviors can be reinforced.If he enjoys going to the movies or sporting events, these can be used as rewards.This will help build his self-esteem.As improvements happen, fade your involvement.You can slowly reduce your involvement as he accumulates more and more positive behavior.
Step 5: Get him to be active.
Help pull the person away from the computer.The goal is to build an interest in the benefits of physical activity for the person.He is more likely to change if he feels better.Suggestions include walking, running, hiking and weight lifting.The activities help the brain release endorphins, which increases feelings of pleasure and reduces pain.He could take a dance class.He can take a break from his addiction when he learns new dance steps.
Step 6: New interests can be explored.
A person with an addiction is less likely to pursue his interests.It robs him of being able to experience things he enjoys and things that he might enjoy if he had the time.He should be encouraged to explore his interests by answering the questions: What is missing in your life?If you could travel, where would you go?If money had no consequences, what would you do with it?It could be that playing the guitar has been an interest.He should take a class online or at a local music store.Encourage him to join groups that share his interests.Close friends may result from these connections.Take a lot of time away from the addiction.There will be no time left for watching pornography if he spends most of his time on new activities.
Step 7: Ask a therapist to talk to you.
If his struggles are getting harder and the self-help strategies aren't making a big difference, then he should see a therapist.He might be dealing with depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues that are too much to handle.These types of issues can be dealt with by a licensed therapist.To provide a safe place to talk, express emotions and discuss the situation openly and honestly is the goal of the therapist.It takes courage to make positive changes in his life.The therapist will listen to what you have to say.Talking to a therapist is the next step in getting the help he needs.It's time to talk to a professional after you've talked about his addiction.You can tell him, "I will be here for your, and you will have the therapist to talk to who will undoubtedly have better ways to help you."Ask a doctor, family member or trusted friend if they can recommend a therapist.Professionals in your area can help people deal with addictions.There is a therapist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy.This type of therapy provides a step-by-step process to stop addictive behavior.The person will be helped by the therapist to get rid of negative thoughts.There is a 12-step program for people who suffer from sexually related addictions.There are 12-step programs around the world.Information on a meeting near you can be obtained by contacting a local chapter.
Step 8: You should conduct an intervention.
Sometimes a more focused approach is needed for help.An intervention is a planned confrontation between friends and family to address an addiction.It is a difficult decision to make, but one that is necessary if the addiction has spiraled out of control and the person's life is in danger.Many people with an addiction are unwilling to seek treatment.The intent of the intervention is not to put the person on the defensive.Those who will participate in the intervention should be carefully chosen.The addiction to pornography can affect the person's loved ones.A plan is needed to give the person treatment options.Inpatient programs, outpatient programs and counseling are involved.
Step 9: Provide emotional support.
If the person has been open with you about his addiction, you should focus on being supportive.It's hard to admit you have a problem.If you want to help, you need to show that you can be trusted and not make fun of the person.The person will experience less stress if they have a good support system.It takes courage to admit you have a problem, so you can say, "First of all, thank you for telling me."It takes a lot of courage to do that.I can help you in any way.
Step 10: Show your feelings.
Personal growth is dependent on being listened to and understood.The emotional experience of dealing with a pornography addiction will force a person to grow.It is possible to help ease the person's pain by listening.Put yourself in the person's shoes.Don't judge the person and be compassionate.There are resources that can teach you how to be compassionate.You can always try to understand it.You should treat the person the same way you would want to be treated.You know what helped and what didn't in your life.
Step 11: Help him identify his emotional issues.
Pornography can be used to manage unpleasant thoughts and feelings.Pornography gets a person's attention and makes them feel better.This is only a temporary solution and does not create long-term effective ways of dealing with those feelings.Determine if the person is depressed.Screening questionnaires can be used to help with the process.He may have been depressed before he became addicted to pornography.He may be trying to manage anxiety, loneliness, boredom and other emotions, so you can ask him, "Are there some things that you're depressed about?"Compulsive behaviors include cybersex or pornography addiction.The person's anonymity allows him to continue his behavior.It is much harder to resist when you have unlimited access.Suggest that he might be using pornography to get away from his feelings.Make it clear that you are there to help him and that he needs help.Put a lock on his internet access.
Step 12: The accomplishments should be celebrated.
You need to acknowledge the person's progress if he shows signs of improvement.As time goes by, it may become larger celebrations.Congratulate the person if they share any positive news.He may say that he made it through the entire morning without looking at pornography.You can say, "That is awesome."You are making progress.Do you really want to do this?Keep going.
Step 13: You can only do so much.
It is difficult to help someone change their behavior.There are many variables that you can't control.You won't always be able to help someone.You will find success if you can let go of control and be a guide and support for the person.Consistency and reliability can be provided by you.You are always with him.You may need to remind the person that you are here for them.It is hard for me to see you struggle and I wish I could do more.
Step 14: Take care of your body.
You might live longer than most people if a person helps others.Helping others can take a toll on you, so take steps to stay physically and emotionally healthy.Get the proper amount of sleep that you need to avoid getting exhausted, and focus on the following things to ensure a healthy emotional balance for yourself.Good health and energy can be achieved by eating healthy food.Fruits and vegetables are included.Foods high in saturated fats should be avoided.It's important to exercise to help manage stress.
Step 15: Continue your support.
Text, call, see the person.Be positive in your interactions with the person, but be honest and serious when necessary.He needs to know that you will be with him on the road to recovery.Understand the person's struggle.You should treat others the way you want to be treated.
Step 16: Encourage interaction in real life.
An addiction to pornography leads to an unbalanced amount of time spent online.A person needs to engage in a balanced amount of human interactions if he wants to have meaningful relationships with people.There will be new people at the gatherings you invite him to.If he is uncomfortable in the beginning, be at his side to support him.There is a distorted view of human sexual interaction caused by pornography.He needs to be aware of the realities of sexual relations.Provide him with reliable and honest resources.
Step 17: You should plan and carry out healthy activities.
You should be in charge of coordinating fun activities that will benefit you and the other person.If it can help the person expand their view of the world, you deserve to have fun.Casual hang-out events, vacations, and sporting events can be arranged.Encourage the person to join you if you want to experience something.
Step 18: You should be the voice of reason.
Make sure that common sense prevails.If the person tries to negotiate with you about complying with his commitment to not watch pornography, then confront him on his actions.He might think he can watch a few minutes and be fine.He won't stop once he starts back up.Remember the consequences.You will have to tell him about the dark place where he came.If he starts watching again, all the hard work he did will be lost.Approach the conversation in a matter-of-fact tone and explain that this is not about guilting you into something.This is about the reality that you are living in.You have a responsibility to yourself and the people who care about you.If you see changes in his behavior that lead you to believe there might have been a slip-up, calmly confront the issue.You can tell me that you look tired.Is everything okay?Do you not watch pornography?There is no reason to lie if you are still here.
Step 19: It is possible that there may be relapses.
The person may tell you, or you may find out by accident.You need to help the person forgive himself, regroup and continue on the path of abstaining from pornography.He will most likely continue to feel safe sharing his thoughts and feelings if you are more open and willing.The person will not be able to create secrets that can undermine his progress.If a difficult situation presents itself, help the person manage the temptation to view pornography.Suggest activities that will distract the person such as rock climbing or remote control airplane flying.The person should be involved in something completely different.Encourage the person to forgive himself if he makes a mistake.It is important to deal with setbacks.Help him focus on recommitting to his goals.You can say something like, "You may have slipped up, but what is important now is that you focus on small steps to get back on the program."You will not do it if you commit to the next hour.The more you stick to your plan, the stronger you will be.You have to go back.Don't give up on yourself.