We all have had moments when other people tried to cut us down, deter us, or exclude us.They intended to bully or control us when they did this.No one should be treated this way.Sometimes people criticize in order to help us.Someone who gives you constructive criticism is different from someone who criticizes destructively.Know how to deal with abuse, tell bad from good criticism, and accept constructive criticism.It will help you to grow as a person.
Step 1: The other cheek should be turned.
Bullies and people who dislike them exert power.They want to know that they have the ability to control you.Do not give them that satisfaction.Ignore them as a counter.You can ignore a bully by walking away, acting as if you aren't listening, or telling them that you're not interested in what they are saying.If a bully tells you that your school project was terrible, you have options.You can leave.Ignoring a bully doesn't necessarily mean acting as if the abuse is taking place.You refuse to react how they want you to.
Step 2: Fight the bully.
It can be a bit like ignoring.You are denying the bully the satisfaction of having power over you.You are engaging their behavior but in a way that derails it.Say something like "Why would you say that?" and the insult will be turned back on the bully.Pretend not to hear or say "really" if you want to be disrespectful of the bully.The bully can be deflated with the help of all.The key to deflation is to confront the hater.You poke a hole in their attempt to control you.They may move on if you are not vulnerable to their abuse.
Step 3: The hater's audience should be removed.
Audiences are needed for bullies and haters.They do not abuse others for the sheer fun of it, but in order to establish a place in a social pecking order and raise themselves at your expense in the eyes of others.They lose their purpose and power if you take away their audience.This technique can be difficult and might be outside of your control.You can work against a bully.deflating them in front of others would be a good idea.Say that you walk into the lunch room and your hater starts to tear down your performance in the school play in front of a group.It is only a play.Alex, I heard that you scored tickets to the big game.Great! deflates the bully and ignores the conversation.His audience has been taken away by you.
Step 4: Someone should tell them.
A lot of us were told that we shouldn't be "tattletales."If you are being bullied or abused, you should be willing to talk to someone.Talk to a trusted person.You should report threats and assaults.The bully may become more aggressive if you don't.It's important that your safety comes first.Don't take unneeded risks with an aggressive hater or bully, standing up to abuse is your choice.If you feel threatened or in danger, tell someone.
Step 5: The intent should be noted.
We don't want to hear feedback.Constructive criticism isn't always "hating."There is a big difference.Bullies tear down.Constructive criticism is meant to help us.There is a big difference between the two types of criticism.Why is a person critical of you?It is destructive if they are trying to hurt you or tear you down.It is constructive if a person criticizes you for your mistakes and how you can improve.It might hurt, but it is worth listening to.If your hockey teammate said, "You're a weak skater, you really suck out there," it would be constructive.Get lower to the ice by bending at the knees.You will get more power in your stride.
Step 6: The target of criticism should be noted.
The target of criticism is important in determining whether it is destructive or constructive.Destructive remarks are directed at the individual.They are meant to hurt you.Constructive criticism doesn't do this.It focuses on your work, skills, concept, process, or something else.It is impersonal."You're stupid, what's wrong with you?" are examples of destructive criticism.Constructive criticism includes, "Your writing sounds kind of boring."Try to use simpler sentences.You should always check your blind spot before changing lanes.Don't take it personally.Someone who criticizes your writing is not attacking who you are as a person.They might want to help you improve.
Step 7: The tone of criticism should be noted.
The delivery of criticism is also important.Destructive and constructive criticism can be hard to hear.A key separator is tone.A critic who is destructive usually takes a negative tone.Constructive critics are supposed to be cruel.A hater would say something along the lines of "Only an idiot would do it this way."A constructive critic might say that this is wrong, but it is a common mistake.The tone is impersonal and leads to a piece of advice.
Step 8: There is no substance to the advice.
The advice is what separates constructive criticism from destructive criticism.The first is to tear down and not offer suggestions for the future.The second is meant to help you improve.A hater will never suggest ways to improve.Constructive criticism can offer useful advice.If you get a low grade on a paper, someone will say, "It seems like you wrote this essay very fast."There are errors in it.The criticism may be blunt, but it offers genuine advice.
Step 9: Constructive criticism is open to be had.
People talk abouthaters when they are criticized.We sometimes use the word "hater" as a way to avoid confronting our own failures, because there are lots of critics out there.When we lack self-awareness to critique and improve, we dismiss criticism.We need to hear the truth in order to grow.Don't be afraid of all criticism.Constructive criticism and destructive criticism can be learned to tell.When it is meant to help you, be open to criticism.
Step 10: Listen to what I have to say.
You have to learn how to grow from constructive criticism.Hearing the person out is the first step.Your first reaction is often to become defensive, so you may need to practice this.Before you do anything, listen to them.If you get constructive feedback, try to remain objective.They are not attacking me.This isn't about me personally.Re-read the comments to make sure you understand.
Step 11: Ask questions
Don't misinterpret criticism.If you have the chance, ask questions and get clarification on points you don't understand.Asking questions will help you understand what is being said, internalize the criticism, and find a solution.Can you clarify what you meant when you said that my thesis statement was fuzzy?
Step 12: Don't get angry.
When faced with criticism, it is easy to get defensive.Constructive criticism is not personal.Try to be open.Whether it is a boss, a teacher, or a peer, remind yourself that they are probably just trying to help.If you feel angry or overwhelmed, take a deep breath.Is it the way in which the criticism was delivered that bothered you?Don't pay attention to the delivery if the criticism is constructive.
Step 13: Decide if it's accurate.
Don't dismiss criticism out of hand.Take some time to think about it.Is it accurate?Is it fair?If you can, try to be neutral.If you ignore criticism, you may miss an important truth.It's a good idea to ask a friend, mentor, or family member if they will give you the truth about the criticism.I was told by my teacher that I am working below my ability.I want to know your opinion.
Step 14: The problem should be addressed by taking steps.
If you have faced constructive criticism, listened and assessed it, and decided that it is accurate, the next step is to make a change.At this point, you can see what the problem is and know what to do about it.A plan is needed to address the problem.A sign of maturity is self-reflection.If you respond to criticism, you will show others that you are willing to face up to your weaknesses and improve.