It's not easy to let go of hurts.If you haven't been able to move on with your life after a while, you may need to take a more proactive approach.It's important to remember that you have the power to make a great future for yourself, no matter what happened to you in the past.
Step 1: You should forgive others for your own good.
You are giving yourself a wonderful gift when you forgive someone who has hurt you.It is possible to experience health benefits, including lower blood pressure and better heart health, as well as psychological benefits.You will be increasing your chances of having successful relationships in the future.Forgiveness is a sign of strength and not weakness.It doesn't mean that you condone the actions, but you will not allow them to burden you anymore.Reconciliation does not mean giving a person back.This may not be possible or it may be a bad idea.Giving simply means letting go of any resentment or desire for revenge.If you can, try to be sympathetic to the person who has hurt you.People hurt others because they are hurting themselves.If you bear some responsibility for your past hurts, you may have to forgive yourself as well.Don't hold on to this responsibility, it's important to recognize it.Allow yourself to be forgiven with compassion and understanding.
Step 2: Allow yourself to be the victim.
It is not the responsibility of another person to hurt you in the past.Taking back control of your life and realizing that you have the power to make your future better than your past is the first step towards healing.You are allowing him to control you when you blame the person who hurt you for everything that happens in your life.When you have a thought like this, remind yourself that you are in control.Think of something positive you can do to make yourself feel better.It is possible to take control of your own recovery.Make your own plan for how you will let go of your past hurts if you want to stop letting others control your actions and emotions.Keep reminding yourself that you are the boss of your own life, even though you can take advice from others.
Step 3: Affirmations to yourself.
Take a moment to think about your most positive qualities if your past hurts your self-esteem.Every single day, remind yourself that you are a wonderful person.There are different ways of affirming self-love.Say it to yourself or write it down.Keep a piece of artwork where you will see it often and incorporate affirming words into it.
Step 4: You should express your feelings.
Allowing yourself to express your feelings can be freeing.Write a letter to the person who hurt you, but don't send it.Getting it all out at once will allow you to process your feelings and understand why you are still hurting.
Step 5: For positive reasons, revisit the past.
If you choose to do it for the right reasons, it can help you move on from your past hurts.Try to think through the events of your past to figure out why you feel that way.Take a look at all the reasons why your feelings are not grounded in reality.You should use this exercise to revisit traumatic events that you are blaming yourself for.If you feel responsible for your parents' divorce or your partner's infidelity, you should revisit the event to understand the source of your negative feelings.Negative feelings about yourself are not based on truth if you take the time to analyze the situation.Don't place too much blame on others.The purpose of this exercise is to recognize why you feel bad about yourself and to stop yourself from feeling that way.
Step 6: You need support.
You might need different kinds of support depending on what kind of hurt you are trying to let go of.If you feel trapped by them, don't keep your feelings to yourself.Sometimes it feels good to let it out, and talking to someone can help you sort through your feelings.If you want to discuss your feelings with your friends or family, make sure they don't have anything to do with the issues you are dealing with.If they are completely impartial, they will be in a better position to support you.You should look for a support group that addresses your issues.If you are looking for an individual or group therapist with expertise in past hurts or trauma recovery, you have come to the right place.Your therapist may be able to help you understand why you feel the way you do.
Step 7: It's important to focus on something positive.
It can feel like there is no room in your life for anything positive or happy if you allow negative thoughts and memories to consume you.If you want to avoid this happening to you, fill your life with so many positive things that there is no room for negative things.You can choose to occupy yourself with something goal-oriented, like school or your career, or something that makes you feel good about yourself, such as volunteer work or quality time with your friends.
Step 8: Reframe painful experiences as learning opportunities.
Reframing negative thoughts can help you move forward.Finding opportunities for personal growth can help you move on from painful things.You might be hurt that your partner broke up with you."I am hurt because I lost my partner, but I learned a lot from that relationship that I can take with me into the next one."Maybe someone was unkind to you."That person was hurt, but I am strong and resilient and her behavior won't keep me down."
Step 9: Be aware of your thoughts.
When you start to think about what happened, remember that you are focused on something else in your life.Replacing the memory with a reminder of something positive in your life will help keep you from dwelling on it."Bad things have happened to me in the past, but it is now the present and I don't have time to worry about the Past because I am focused on the Present."You can list all of the positives in your life.There will be no room for negative thoughts if you fill your mind with happy thoughts.
Step 10: You should be open to other people.
It's easy to assume that others will hurt you in the future if you've been hurt before.This kind of thinking can lead to new relationships with anger.If you want to develop healthy relationships in the future, you will need to leave your anger behind and not assume the worst of others based on what has happened to you before.