It can be difficult for kids, who don't have much say in the matter, when it comes to moving.It's important to talk to your parents about how you feel if they decide to move.It is not always possible to convince your parents to stay, but presenting a well-researched case for staying put is a great strategy.
Step 1: Do you want to stay?
Why don't you want to move?What are you going to lose in the move?What could you gain?It will be easier to talk to your parents about these things if you take the time to think through them.It's a good idea to think about your reasons for not wanting to move as well as what a move might be like.You might want to make notes of some of the things you think so that you can use them in your discussions with your parents later on.
Step 2: Why are you moving?
You may not know that your parents have good reasons for moving.Ask your parents why you need to move if you don't know why.Say something like, "I think I might feel better about moving if I knew why we had to do it."Some common reasons why people move include a new job opportunity, financial difficulties, disliking a neighborhood, or the need or desire for a bigger or smaller home.
Step 3: Speak to your siblings or other family members about the move.
You can learn whether or not they want to move, what their perspective is, and how staying and moving will affect your family.It can be helpful to find common ground in order to feel better about the situation and strengthen your case to stay put.Say something like, "I am really upset about the idea of moving."How do you feel about it?
Step 4: There are pros and cons to staying and moving.
You should make a list of pros and cons for the entire family once you have learned more about why your parents are moving.Draw a line down the center of two sheets of paper to make a pros and cons list.At the top of the one sheet write Stay and the other write Move, then write Pros and Cons in the left column of each sheet of paper.You should include the pros and cons of the conversations you had with your parents.To complete the lists, invite your parents and siblings to add onto them by sharing them with you.Try putting the lists on the fridge or in a high traffic area so that family members can read the reasons and add their own.
Step 5: Offer to help with a job, extra chores or something similar.
If the move is due to financial reasons, it might be possible for you to contribute in some way that will make it possible to stay.If you're old enough to have a part-time job, you can offer to contribute your wages to pay bills.If you have hobbies that cost a lot of money, you might want to give them up to save some money.
Step 6: There are reasonable alternatives to moving.
If you want to convince your parents to stay, you need to have suggestions.Before you discuss your feelings with your parents, look into as many alternatives as possible.It is possible to find cheaper places to live, jobs in the area, or both.The decision to move is often based on finances.For example, if you're finishing school within a few months, how long will you live in that home?Talk to your parents if you are less than a year away from being able to live on your own.If you want to keep the residence, look into alternative strategies.You are independent if your parents want to sell your family home.Renting or taking up residence can convert the residence into an income stream, though managing the property is often a difficult and expensive task, and selling it while not residing in it has tremendous tax implications.
Step 7: Don't say what you want to say.
Take some time to practice what you say before you give your reasons, research, and alternative solutions to your parents.You can ask a friend to listen to your presentation or practice in front of a mirror.Stay calm and control your emotions when you practice.Don't get angry or cry.You can make notes for yourself on index cards.
Step 8: It is a good time to talk.
If you have a time to talk when they are happy, they'll be more willing to listen.It is possible to know when the best time to present your case would be, such as after dinner or a lazy Sunday morning.Ask your parents when they would be most willing to listen.You could say, "I was hoping we could talk about something, but it might take a while."When would be a good time for you?
Step 9: Wear something nice.
Dressing up is a well-known strategy for looking professional and getting the upper hand in a conversation, especially if you are dressed better than the other person.Your parents may be impressed by the fact that you have put in extra effort and that this is an important conversation to you.Try wearing a shirt with khakis or a dress that your mother picked out for you.
Step 10: Say thank you to your parents.
As you share your reasons for not wanting to move, make sure that you compliment your parents as well.Flattery is an effective way to get people to do what you want.You could say, "I appreciate how hard both of you work to give me a great life and I know that you made your decision with me in mind."I hope you both know how much I appreciate you.
Step 11: Say what you have to say in a way that is calm and reasonable.
It is important for you to show your parents that your desire to stay put is not based on an emotional response to the idea of moving, but on a lot of thought.It is best to stay calm while you present your point of view and avoid any arguments.Don't worry if you feel emotional about something.In moderation, emotional displays can be helpful to an argument.If used near the end of the presentation, emotional displays are more effective.If you shed a few tears when talking about how upset you would be if you had to leave your best friend, that is fine.If you cry during most of your presentation, your parents might interpret that as irrational behavior.
Step 12: For the last, save your best reason.
Hold off on one of your best points until you're done persuading people that you are right.You can build a strong foundation and top it off with an excellent reason.This way of structuring an argument helps build interest in what you are saying.
Step 13: Allow your parents to think.
It will take your parents some time to process everything that you have said.You should let them know that this is not an easy decision and that you respect their need to think through it.It's a good idea to thank them for listening and considering what you had to say.Say thank you for listening to me.I am willing to give you some time to think about what I have said.Let me know when you want to talk.
Step 14: If your parents have something to say, listen.
It is possible that your parents will respond to what you have said.Listen to what they have to say and give your full attention.If one of your parents says something that doesn't make sense to you, try repeating what they have just said.It sounds like moving is our best option, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy.Is that what you mean?
Step 15: If your parents haven't contacted you after a week, follow up.
If you haven't heard back from your parents after a week or more, it's time to ask if they'd like to talk again.They might have been busy or unsure about the best way to approach you.You can show that you want to continue the conversation by taking the initiative.You could say, "If you are ready to talk, I was hoping that we could talk about the move."Is there any time this weekend that would work for you?
Step 16: You should keep in mind that the answer may not be what you were hoping for.
It is possible that your parents will not approve of what you are doing.It is important to respect your parents' decision even if it is hard to hear a no.It is most likely that the choice to move is about making your life better.