There are many reasons why our self-perceptions are not in line with other people's.It's common to develop habits without even noticing.We may try to hide our feelings and thoughts.We may have poor insight as a particular behavior may be a result of many motives.It is possible to see yourself as others see you, but this requires courage and the development of insight.
Step 1: Ask a friend to listen.
Carl Rogers developed reflective listening.It involves communicating the speaker's feelings.The purpose of rephrasing is to give the speaker an opportunity to clarify what he is trying to say.The clarification is beneficial to both people.Hearing our message repeated back to us allows us to listen to ourselves and decide if we like the message we are sharing.You don't need to train your friends to be Rogerian therapists, just ask them to listen to the message and identify underlying emotion without judgement.You have a lot of time to clarify if your friend doesn't seem to be capturing your emotion.If you have helped your friend understand, keep talking.You will understand yourself better by the end of the activity.
Step 2: Analyzing the consequences of your behavior can be done with systematic reflection.
Make note of the consequences or outcomes when you count your behavior.A list of behaviors and outcomes will help you organize your thoughts.Were the outcomes favorable?Identifying behaviors that might have resulted in desired outcomes is important.The framework for changing undesirable behavior will be provided by this.
Step 3: A fun way to explore the self is by taking personality quizzes.
You can find a lot of these activities online.They help to direct your intention inward, even though they are rarely valid or reliable.It is fun to do this with a friend and they can give feedback on how others view you.You can test your self-perceptions by taking a quiz with a friend.While you take the quiz for yourself, ask your friend to answer the questions for you.You can compare and discuss instances where your answers don't match.Some may find it hard to focus on reflection.Quiet contemplation can improve self awareness and insight into others' perception of you.If you don't take the time to reflect on your behavior, you may find it uncomfortable.Structured activity will make you feel better.
Step 4: Take notes and ask for feedback.
It may be difficult to understand how others view you, because people tend to temper criticisms or sugarcoat feedback out of concern for the feelings of others.Giving others permission to share the truth without regard for your feelings is what this means.You might try to explain to them that you are on a journey of self-exploration.Tell them that this is part of the process of becoming more self-awareness.Taking notes will allow you to compare answers.This will allow you to track changes in your behavior.Guide the person's responses if he or she is still reluctant.If you want to identify your strengths, ask him or her.Ask the person to identify your weaknesses.Asking for ideas for ways to overcome your weakness can make this constructive.You don't want to use this as an opportunity to be mean because you know someone who knows you well.Before you ask the question, prepare yourself to hear unpleasant things.The exercise won't be helpful if you become defensive.This is an opportunity for growth if you feel like you are becoming defensive.
Step 5: It's a good idea to appreciate the value of mirroring.
We are wired to mirror each other.When we interact with others, mirror neurons become excited.This can lead to mimicked physical expression and allow us to experience the emotional states of others.This is the basis for being compassionate.We can feel the emotions of others.Sharing personal stories with one another is connected by this.Relating helps us to develop compassion.Our conscious control can't prevent the internal experience of mirror from happening.It usually happens regardless of whether you want it to or not.
Step 6: Do you know how you are effecting your behavior?
As you become more self-awareness, you'll realize that mirror affects your posture, mannerisms, speech, emotions, and even breathing.While this is typically a good thing, in some instances you may notice you are adopting the negative emotions of others and your emotional experience becomes more intense as those around you become more agitated.If you become aware that your thoughts and feelings about a particular person are more negative after interacting with another person, you may have been feeding off the negative vibes of the other person.You are in control of the outward expressions of mirror reflection.You have the option to respond in a different way.
Step 7: You can ask a friend to observe you interacting with another.
The notes will help you and your friend become more aware of the behavior you are trying to change.If you create a sign like tugging an ear, your friend can alert you when you are mimicking too much.You can change your behavior.When it is possible to reinforce particular responses or shading perceptions.Variations in expressions of mirroring can have an impact on others' impressions of us.Those who fail to express outward signs of mirroring may be seen as cold and unfeeling, while those who mirror vigorously will be viewed as aggressive, unstable, and annoying.If you can't change your mirroring patterns, you will either have to accept others' characterization of you or work to do so.It is possible that you need to work to increase or decrease your mimicking.You can mimic with friends.
Step 8: The patterns of responses should be deescalated.
Mirrors can change in face to face interactions.The other person becomes agitated as well.The interaction becomes increasingly heated, volume increases, speech becomes more pressured, language gets more aggressive, and hand gestures and facial expressions get exaggerated.If you get caught up in these types of interactions, you might consider whether the interaction is representative of your actual feelings about the subject.Do others see your passion for the subject or a fit of mirroring?You can alter the tone of the conversation if you become aware that your participation in the interaction no longer represents how you actually feel about the subject.You can use the same pattern of mirroring to change the interaction if you notice that it may result in a poor representation of your thoughts and feelings.It's a way to make sure others see you correctly.Positive expressions can be introduced if the discussion has become more negative.Similar behavior will be elicited when smiling softly.Soften your language to reduce intensity.Laughing will make others laugh to lighten the mood.
Step 9: To be sure your perception of the talker is correct, you need to engage in reflective listening.
Tell the talker that you want to listen to it to make sure you understand.There will be a lot of opportunity for you to get clarification and verify your perception of the other.Personal biases or projections can cause your responses to others to be distorted.Sigmund Freud introduced projection as a defense mechanism and later expanded it to include Anna Freud.Our impressions of the other person's behavior are colored by this.The other's perception of you is influenced by this.To make sure you are responding appropriately and accurately, you need to verify your perception.
Step 10: Tell yourself the truth.
Self-deception is used to protect our sense of self.We are not proud of the behavior we have.The shadow is what Carl Jung referred to as the collection of undesirable qualities.When we acknowledge our shadow, we experience guilt and shame.Denying these parts of your personality will prevent you from seeing yourself as others see you.If others have commented about your jealousy, or any other trait most would like to deny, explore the possibility that you are indeed those things and accept them.If something about your personality causes you distress, you should work to change it.You need to acknowledge the trait to change it.
Step 11: People can help you become more aware of yourself.
Projection happens subconsciously.Ask others to help you become self- aware by telling you when you are doing it.We sometimes incorporate others' projections into our own sense of self.It's possible that someone in your life is projecting negative feelings and emotions onto you, so you respond in a negative way.The person uses your responses to prove his or her characterization of you.To share their opinions of the dynamic, ask outsiders to observe your interactions with the person.