You are not alone if you think your spouse is cheating on you.According to current statistics, 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have had sex outside of marriage.When intimate or emotional affairs are taken into account, the number jumps 20%.If you suspect your spouse or partner of being unfaithful to you, there are signs you can look for to determine if you have become a victim.You may notice a change in your partner's behavior or spending habits.If you notice your partner's behavior for signs of infidelity, you can take the necessary steps to mend or end your relationship.
Step 1: Take a look at your relationship.
Do you think that your relationship is still fulfilling and happy for you both?Some red flags can be seen if you take the time to look closely at your relationship.When your partner tells you something is wrong, you dismiss it."This marriage isn't working, I'm not happy, and I need more than this" are some common phrases.It is possible that a partnership is in trouble because of more frequent arguments.Fights with your partner more often can be a sign that your relationship needs work if it's the result of infidelity or if you're in an unhappy relationship.It could be a sign that something is not right.If your partner becomes critical, telling you to go to the gym, lose weight, or talk to a therapist, you could be dragged down to justify their infidelity.
Step 2: Evaluate your partner's behavior.
They may touch you less if your partner is cheating.They might appear distant or distracted.Do you notice that your partner seems less interested in being intimate with you?They may not need it from you if they are receiving affection from another person.Take note of how your partner touches you.Is he or she still holding your hand or showing affection?Greater physical distance between you and your partner could be a sign of emotional distance.If it feels different during intimate moments, notice.New sexual techniques can be demonstrated by your partner if they have recently practiced them with someone else.
Step 3: Take a look at your behavior.
If you have neglected or ignored your partner or treated him or her unkindly, think about it.Try to assess your behavior from the other person's point of view.They are more likely to seek emotional and sexual fulfillment with someone else if you have been neglecting your partner.A partner may embark on an affair to try and get their partner's attention and prove to themselves that they are still desirable.If you have been spending a lot of time away from your partner, or focusing too much on work or children, you may be lonely and looking for someone more available.If you have mistreated your partner, an affair could be one way in which they seek to get back at you while boosting their own confidence or leaving the relationship altogether.
Step 4: Trust your gut.
Don't dismiss your intuition if it tells you that your partner is cheating.According to a recent story in New Scientist, our emotions emerge from our unconscious mind so they tend to reflect more information than our rational mind.Our gut instincts can save us from a lot of grief.It is possible that you are picking up signals from your partner without being aware of it.
Step 5: You should talk to your partner.
Discuss the status of your relationship if you are concerned that your partner is having an affair.A conversation can be an easy way to confirm your suspicions or ease your fears.You approached your partner honestly and openly, even if you don't get the answer you want.Pick a time when you are calm and relaxed.It will be more difficult to have a productive conversation if you start the discussion on a negative note.Don't think "conversation" is "confrontation".You should choose the right place for your discussion.If you want privacy, choose an area where you can be alone.If a public place makes you feel more at ease, offer to take a walk with your partner.A place that is easy to leave if your discussion gets too heated is ideal.Talk about yourself to start the conversation."There is something weighing on my mind." is a nonjudgmental phrase.I'm concerned about our relationship."I" is what you should start your sentences with.Your partner will be less reactive because of this.If your partner is willing to discuss your concerns, that's great.If your partner is willing to work on improving their relationship through dialogue or couples counseling, that is a good sign.
Step 6: Decide if it is worth it.
If you sense that your partner is lying to you, take a hard look at your relationship, and think about what you need.Is it worth it to stay in a relationship with someone you don't trust?Maybe this is not the healthiest relationship for you if you think your partner is capable of deceiving you and breaking your trust.
Step 7: You should watch for physical changes.
It's possible that your partner is trying to impress a new love interest.It's possible that he or she is looking for another partner.If your partner changes, look to see if they replace their wardrobe.If your partner suddenly starts wearing suits or tailored clothing, this may be a sign of infidelity, especially if there haven't been any major lifestyle changes, such as a promotion at work.Your partner can join a gym or work out more often to lose weight or tone their body.Your partner might be interested in working out at the gym that he or she has been frequenting.Potential signs that there is someone else for your partner to impress include a sudden focus on their physical appearance and concern with looking good.
Step 8: Look at your partner's grooming habits.
If your partner is trying to appear attractive to a new person, they may start paying more attention to their grooming.While it has become socially acceptable for both women and men to focus on personal grooming, a sudden change in habits could be a red flag.Check to see if your partner bathes more often, flosses their teeth more regularly, shaves less often and other grooming activities.New makeup, perfumes or colognes can be applied by your partner or someone else.The old cliché about finding lipstick on a cheating man's collar has stood the test of time.If your partner has changed their hair, watch it.Do they change their hair color or do they just have a new look?
Step 9: There are changes in the schedule.
If your partner makes changes to their routine, pay attention.It's possible that they are doing this to accommodate their new interest or spending time with someone else.The changes can be large or small.Excuses such as staying late at work, traffic jams, or other accidents can explain why your partner is away from home more often.If your partner suddenly wants to go out with their friends without you, this could be an alibi.You should notice if your partner stops inviting you to work.They could make excuses for being absent for long periods of time, so be on the lookout for that.If your partner doesn't mind you working late or going away, they could be spending that time with someone else.
Step 10: You should try to contact your partner.
Are you no longer able to get in touch with your significant other?If your partner doesn't answer their cell phone when you try to call, this could be a sign that your relationship is changing.Your partner may have an excuse for the phone's behavior.He or she could argue that a new phone has a dead battery, technical problems, or that they were in an area with no signal.If your partner tells you that he or she is too busy to answer calls, be on the lookout.Is his or her phone turned off when you can normally use it?Your partner could have silenced their phone to be with another person.
Step 11: If your partner leaves new or unusual items, pay more attention to them.
Sometimes your partner will leave something in plain view that shows they are unfaithful, such as the house keys.Take a look at the shopping or restaurant receipts.You can look through the paperwork for phone numbers.Look for hotel room keys and similar items.You may want to check out your partner's car.Some unfaithful partners hide or leave revealing items in glove compartments, ashtrays, or under car seats.
Step 12: Look at your partner's computer behavior.
Your partner may spend more time online chatting with you.Use your partner's social media accounts.If they have been talking with one person more often, that's a good sign.Exchanges with exes are a red flag.If your partner closes the windows on the computer when you enter the room, you should check to see if they keep their browser history.
Step 13: You can review statements from your bank.
Your partner may be spending too much money on activities for their new interest.You should look for large cash withdrawals from stores or other places you rarely or never visit.If you haven't been to a restaurant or bar before, watch out for credit or debit card transactions.
Step 14: Attach your cell phone to it.
It is easier to navigate an affair with smart phones.It's possible that your partner is using his or her phone to communicate with a new love interest.When taking a shower, or stepping outside to take out the trash, watch your partner to see if they keep the phone by their side.This could be a sign that your partner doesn't want you to have access to their phone.Security codes or phone locks may be enabled by changing the settings on their cell phones.If this is done, you won't be able to access their personal data.
Step 15: Keep an eye out for constant cell use.
It is advisable to observe your partner for increased cell phone activity.Take a look at the times of day when these calls and texts are happening.Do you know if your partner communicated during these periods before?If your partner does not act normal when on the phone or texting, you should look into it.Does he or she try to hide the texts that they are typing or the text messages that are deleted quickly after sending or receiving them?If your partner is frequently speaking in hushed tones while on the phone, they may be trying to prevent you from hearing their conversation with someone new.
Step 16: There is a second cell phone.
If your partner is having an affair, getting a secret second cell phone is a smart move.Your partner wouldn't need to worry about leaving a record of unexplained calls with a secret phone.It's easy to purchase a pre-paid cell phone.If you see your partner with a cell phone that isn't for work or a legitimate purpose, be aware that he or she is trying to hide something.There is a hidden phone in bags or purses.Your partner wouldn't keep a second phone in a visible place.The car is a likely location for hiding a second phone.Look under the seats or the glove box.It's a good idea to watch for strange bills in your house.If your spouse contracted with a carrier for a second phone, there may be a paper record of it.If he or she is very careful, the bill may be delivered electronically.