It is normal to want to help a friend or loved one who is suffering from an eating disorder.Encourage them to seek professional help when you tell them that you are worried about them.You can help someone with an eating disorder if you keep in touch with them.It is possible to make matters worse if you say or do certain things.If you approach the situation with compassion and patience, you may be able to help your loved one get back on their feet.
Step 1: It's a good time to talk with the person.
Privacy, time, and a calm state of mind are important when talking to someone.Don't talk when you are in a hurry or feel stressed.You can arrange to meet up at a time and place that will allow you to talk.You could say something like, "Deanna, I was hoping we could talk about something."You could text them, "Hey, Charlie! Can you meet me after school?"We haven't spoken in a while and I need to ask you about something.Can we meet at my apartment this weekend?
Step 2: Tell me what you are worried about.
Don't start with "you" because it will put the person on the defensive.If you want to express your concerns from the position of how you feel, focus on starting each sentence with "I".You could say something like, "I am worried about you."You could say something like, "I care about you, and I am concerned about your well-being, because I noticed that you don't eat lunch most days."I have noticed that you are thinner than you used to be.I would like to help if I can.
Step 3: Listen to it.
Give them a chance to respond after you have shared your concerns.Make eye contact and nodding your head while listening closely to them.To understand them, repeat what they say back to you.Asking questions can help clarify what they're saying.It sounds like this all started when you were in high school.You could say, "What did you mean when you said you felt frustrated and stopped eating?"
Step 4: The person should be asked if anything would make them seek help.
It is important for a person to be personally motivated to seek help for an eating disorder.Asking questions can help them identify their motivation.If you have any ideas, ask them if they can think of anything that would motivate them.You could say something like, "Your eating disorder has made it harder for you to do things you used to enjoy, like rock-climbing and going on long hikes."Would you like to do those things again?
Step 5: Encourage the person to see a doctor.
It is important to remember that eating disorders need a combination of medical and psychiatric treatment.It is important that your friend or loved one see a doctor as soon as possible because they are difficult to treat.Encourage them to do so and offer to make the appointment for them if it will help.You could say, for example, "I would like to help you find a doctor who you trust and who can assist you in getting better."I know that getting treatment for an eating disorder is important and I would like to help you get started, would it be okay if I did a little research and made an appointment for you?Can I get in touch with your doctor to set up something for you?
Step 6: If they want to talk, say you are willing to listen.
If you tell the person you are willing to listen, they may feel more comfortable opening up to you.They might be worried that you will find out what they are going through.Say something like, hey, Gina.If you ever need someone to talk to, ask your friend what you can do to support them.
Step 7: Tell them how much you love them.
Complimenting the person can help improve their self-esteem, but make sure to not compliment them on their appearance alone.Try to compliment the person on their intelligence, kindness, or sense of humor.Say something like, "I don't know what I would do if you were not around to make me laugh."You could say, "You are such a kind and caring person, you are the funniest person I know!"I would like to thank you for always being there for me.
Step 8: You should invite them to do things with you.
If the person is someone you normally spend time with, continue to do so.You can keep in touch with them by inviting them to go out with you and other people.They should not be excluded from things after learning about their eating disorder.If you often go out to dinner with the person and a group of other friends, continue to invite them to do this.
Step 9: If you have been through the same thing, share it with them.
If you have struggled with an eating disorder of your own, you should tell the person about it.You don't want to make comparisons between your experience and theirs.While acknowledging that their experience is unique, share honestly about what happened to you.You could say, "I don't know what you're going through, but I did struggle with an eating disorder when I was in college."I went to an in-patient treatment center after being hospitalized.It was difficult.
Step 10: If they need in-patient treatment, call, write, or visit them.
Try to stay in touch with the person by calling or writing them, if they have to go to an in-patent treatment center or hospital for issues related to their eating disorder.Before you visit the person, make sure to ask if it's okay.The treatment center has policies that you should check out.Sending a get-well-soon card is a great way to let someone know that you are thinking about them.Try including a note that says, "Sarah, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well."I hope you get better soon!Loving, Debbie.
Step 11: Don't give them advice, blame them, or criticize them.
It can be a big blow to the person's self-esteem if they are put down either indirectly or directly.Don't call them names, criticize them or offer simple solutions.If a person has an eating disorder, they should not be told to just eat less or count calories.It is not that simple.
Step 12: Try not to give them ultimatums.
Threatening a loved one with action if they don't seek help or stop engaging in eating disorders could make matters worse.As a result of the stress that an ultimatum may cause, the person may become angry with you or their eating disorder may get worse.You should be kind and supportive of your loved one.If your friend or loved one has an eating disorder, talk to a therapist.They can help you find healthy ways of dealing with these issues and give suggestions for how to interact with them.
Step 13: Don't make comments about the person's body.
It may seem like reassuring someone that they aren't fat or good looking would help them, but it's not often the case with people with eating disorders.The person could become more self-conscious if they were to comment on their body.Try to focus on the person's health instead of their body.You might say something like, "WOW!" if the person has been more energetic since treatment began.You seem energetic!If the person looks better since starting treatment, you could say something like, "Your complexion is glowing!"What is your secret?
Step 14: Recovery will take a long time.
As a friend or family member works towards recovery from an eating disorder, there may be a long, rocky road ahead.The person may engage in unhealthy behaviors again if they go through periods of relapse along the way.It could take months or even years for the person to recover.While you support your friend, make sure you take care of yourself.Do things that you enjoy.