How To Talk to Your Partner About Your Wants and Needs
You might expect your partner to know all of your needs and wants in a relationship.If you haven't told your partner what you want, they may not know.If you want to communicate your needs to your partner, you have to first figure out what you need, then clearly tell them, and be willing to compromise or negotiate to meet their needs, too.
Step 1: List your needs.
Before talking to your partner, you should list your needs.If you are clear about what you want, you can communicate them to your partner.You may want to start with what you need.Sex, romance, physical touching, and emotional sharing may be included.You should think about what you need in regards to a family, finances, outside friendship, cooking, cleaning, and running the household.You should be aware that wants and needs are not the same thing.It is essential for your happiness, safety, and well-being to have needs.It causes you pleasure to want things to happen.If you need your partner to work and make a certain salary to complement your salary, you will have to pay the bills.You might need to know that your partner loves you.
Step 2: Do you know what your priorities are?
Your partner will not know how to meet your needs if you don't know what they are.Before you can talk to your partner, you need to figure out your priorities.This may be a priority in your life.Identifying your priorities can help you figure out what you need in your relationship.Determine your needs by figuring out what priorities are important to you.Inseparable family and financial stability may be your top priorities.You should order your needs from the most important to the least important so that you can decide which ones to communicate first.This will help you tell your partner what's most important to you.It is possible that it will help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
Step 3: Don't forget to practice the talk.
It's a good idea to talk to your partner in person.Write notes or list points you want to make.Speak loudly to yourself to get comfortable with your wants.You can even practice in a mirror.You can ask a friend to listen to you and help you practice.
Step 4: You should choose the right time and place.
It's a good idea to choose an appropriate time to address your needs.When you and your partner have time to discuss the issues, choose a time.You should make sure you don't have to do anything when you talk.There is a private place where you won't be disturbed.You should not go to a restaurant or coffee shop.If you have kids, ask if someone can keep them for a few hours so you can talk privately.
Step 5: You can learn how to communicate assertively.
If you feel like your needs aren't being met in your relationship, it might be due to a lack of assertive communication.If you want to communicate effectively with your partner, you should develop some assertive communication skills.If something isn't going the way you want, say it out loud.If your partner gives a short answer when you ask about his or her day after work, you might say, "I'd love to know all the details even if you think they're boring."I'm still interested.
Step 6: Don't be afraid to listen actively.
Listen to what your partner has to say.When they are telling you what you need to know, this is important.It is possible that your partner has a different way of approaching things.Listen to what your partner has to say.If your partner does not agree with you, don't get mad.You can come to a compromise if you listen to their point of views.
Step 7: Be specific.
It's important to be specific and clear with your partner about your wants and needs.Being vague or speaking in general terms can create confusion.Your partner's interpretation of the general statement may be different than yours.If you say, "I need more intimacy," your partner may get the general idea but not know what you need.Yours may be different from theirs.Be specific.You could say, "I need you to kiss me more often and talk to me about your day."
Step 8: Ask for one thing at a time.
If you haven't told your partner what you want, you may have many things to ask for.If you want too much at one time, try not to overwhelm your partner.This could make you think your partner is doing everything wrong in your relationship.Don't ask for more than one thing at a time.The most important thing to start with is your partner.You can move on to another goal once the two of you have worked on it.
Step 9: Let your partner know what's going on.
Things you want to happen aren't included in telling your partner about your wants and needs.It can include things you don't want to happen.Your partner should know what your boundaries are so they can give you what you want.You should tell your partner where your privacy boundaries are.Explain to your partner that there are things and boxes that are private.You should tell your partner about your sexual boundaries.If there are things you are unwilling to do, let your partner know.Say that you don't feel comfortable fulfilling all of your dreams.I'm willing to try a few new things.
Step 10: Don't blame.
Don't blame your partner if there are needs or wants that stem from a conflict.Keep things factual and calm by using "I" statements.Blaming or being dramatic won't solve the conflict or meet your needs.If you feel the house is a mess, you might want to say something like, "You never do anything to help around the home!" or "The house looks like a tornado hit it!"Say, "I miss spending time with my friends" instead of "You are being clingy."
Step 11: Accept the differences of your partner.
Even if you grew up in the same area, you and your partner are different.The way you and your partner approach certain things may be different.You can solve problems differently, have different levels of communication or show affection in different ways.You should consider the way your partner handles things when you think about what you want and need.It's possible that your partner is showing affection in their way.You need to know how your partner is meeting your needs.Your partner may think they are already meeting your needs if you don't ask for it."I understand that you think sitting side by side on the couch is spending quality time together," you might say.I would like you to talk to me in the evening instead of watching tv.We can talk for half an hour and watch TV.
Step 12: Your partner may not be able to meet all of your needs.
The person you are building your life with is equal to you.Your partner can not meet all of your needs.Some of your needs and wants will need to be met in other ways.Your need for friendship may not be met by your partner.This need may need to be met by family and friends as well.
Step 13: You should be open to your partner's needs.
It's important that you give as much as you get in a relationship.Your partner may have their own wants and needs that need to be met.You should be willing to meet their needs as much as possible.If your needs are different, you should work together to come up with ways to meet them.You should respect your partner's needs even if you don't understand them.You may not understand why your partner requires you to go home every few months.Your partner tells you that they need your support and that you should go with them.You can say, "I am not going to give up my Wednesday night book club so you can join a wednesday night sports league."You can join a Tuesday or Thursday night sports league if I watch the kids on another night of the week.
Step 14: Negotiating to meet each other's wants.
You might find yourself demanding something you don't think your partner needs.If this is the case, you both need to compromise in order to reach an agreement.You may need your partner to be more outgoing but they are a shy person.You don't want your partner to go to social gatherings in large groups.Large groups make me uncomfortable, so I don't want to go to large parties or bars with you.If you want to get together with a few couples at someone's house, I would be happy to do that.
Step 15: Communication lines should be open.
As you and your partner work to fulfill each other's needs, be open to communicating.You should keep talking about your needs and wants.You should let your partner know when you want them to fulfill your needs.Your partner can feel good about themselves and their place in the relationship if you let them know that you appreciate their efforts.
Step 16: Evaluate what you're doing.
You should sit down with your partner to evaluate your relationship.Discuss if both of you feel that your needs are being met.Let your partner know if you want to discuss other things at this time.Let your partner know when things are going well during the talks.Don't just talk about negative things.Positive reinforcement and letting your partner know what they are doing is really important.You should show your appreciation to your partner.