It can be hard to get a child to budge when they are digging in their heels.There are things you can do to diffuse the situation.If you want to help the child learn more effectively, you have to create a calm, consistent learning environment.Try to find a solution that works for everyone if the child is throwing a defiant tantrum.You can make a big difference in a child's attitude with time and patience.
Step 1: You can model the behavior you want to see.
Showing a child what you want them to do is the easiest way to teach.Think about the characteristics you'd like to see a child display, like being kind, patient, and positive, as well as being a good listener and showing a willingness to compromise each day.Try to show those qualities each day.If your child complains about doing their homework, instead of brushing them off, you might say, "I think I hear you saying that this is really hard for you."We might be able to read it together and figure it out.
Step 2: Children know what to expect from routines and rules.
Try to stick to the same schedule every day, whether it's the way you organize the day in your classroom or the routine after school.The same rules that you communicate to the child will be enforced the same way every time.This will give the child a sense of security and stability, which will allow them to focus more easily.At home, you can allow your child 15 minutes for a snack after school."No screen time until schoolwork is done" is one of your rules.In the classroom, you might post a schedule with the times you'll cover each subject, as well as other activities like lunch, recess, or art.
Step 3: Break the tasks into smaller pieces.
If a child refuses to do an assignment or study for a test, you can help them see it as a series of smaller steps.Being faced with a large task can make a child feel overwhelmed and less likely to start.If a child needs to write a summary of a chapter in their textbook, you might first have them read the chapter all the way through.Encourage them to read it again, writing down the key points.They might write down supporting facts to create an outline on the third reading.They can use that outline to write their summary.If it's possible, structure in plenty of breaks so the child doesn't get too bogged down, which might make them give up altogether.
Step 4: Redirection and reminders can be used to head off problem behaviors early.
Children will start behaving in small ways when they are frustrated or overwhelmed.Minor issues can become a bigger issue if you ignore them, so try to address them as soon as possible.Firmly but gently remind the child of any rules they're testing, and try to find a way to shift their focus so they can put that energy into something else.If a child is having a hard time staying in their chair during a lesson, you might say, "Brandon, it's important to sit so we don't distract the other students."If that doesn't work, you could ask the students to work in pairs to change the energy in the room, which could help the student focus.
Step 5: Set and achieve goals for the child.
Talk to your child about what they want to learn in the lesson.Stubborn children don't like being told what to do and are often perfectly capable of doing whatever you ask of them.The child may feel more inclined to push through when things are hard if they are given more ownership in the learning process.You might ask Anna how many books she wants to read tonight.
Step 6: The subject matter can be related to their interests.
If a child is having trouble grasping a concept, tie the lesson to something they enjoy.If you can get the kids to associate the topic with something they already love, you will be able to bring the lesson to life for them.If you're teaching math, make up word problems with the child and their friends in mind.The better the concept, the funnier it is.Another way to engage kids with a topic is through hands-on science projects.
Step 7: Positive reinforcement is used whenever you notice a child doing well.
Try to praise the child if they focus on a task or follow the rules.A rewards system can be used to encourage good behaviors.The risk that the child will act out just because they want or need attention will be lessened if you reinforce those behaviors.In the classroom, you might put a marble in a jar every time your students work quietly.When the jar is full, you can have a class party, give the students more recess time, or watch a movie.Negative consequences like being scolded or having a reward taken away can build fear and resentment in a child.
Step 8: Do not engage in a power struggle.
Don't argue, yell, belittle, or threaten the child if you set firm limits.It will be less likely that they'll listen to you in the future if you do that.They should be reminded of the rules and consequences.Sometimes it can be helpful to speak to a child in a classroom.If you need space to calm down at home, take a break for a few minutes.If you start to get upset, take a few deep breaths and remember that you're dealing with a child who needs to feel heard and understood.
Step 9: Allow the child to experience consequences.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is to step back, as long as you don't put the child in harm's way.You are requiring the child to take responsibility for their actions by giving them space to make their own decisions.If your child doesn't study for a test, the natural consequence is that they fail the test.
Step 10: Try to keep calm.
It can be hard to deal with a child who won't listen.Take a deep breath before reacting.After that, calmly repeat what you need the child to do, as well as the consequences if they don't.If you start to get really upset when you leave the child at home, you should go to another room for about 5 minutes.If your child is being defiant in public, it might be a good idea to take them to a quiet area until they calm down.If that doesn't work, you may have to go home and try again.If your child doesn't begin to listen, follow through with the consequences.They will think there won't be repercussions for pushing you even harder next time.
Step 11: The lines of communication should be open as much as possible.
Some children resist because they are pushed into something.Explain why you need them to do what you want.Listen to what they have to say.It can help you overcome the real problem.If you talk to a child who doesn't turn in their homework assignments, you may discover that they're not learning as quickly as other students.If you get them a tutor, you could boost their grade and confidence.It's not practical to have a full conversation in every situation.You might need to act quickly to get your child out of harm's way if they are putting themselves in danger.You can discuss what happened once they're safe.
Step 12: Understand your child's emotions.
It's important that you set clear boundaries and rules for your child, but you aren't in charge of how they think or feel.They're more likely to cooperate with you over time if you teach them that you respect their feelings.You could say, "I know you don't like spelling, but that's okay."You are great at math!Even though it isn't your favorite, you still have to practice your spelling.
Step 13: Win-win solutions can be found to the problem.
A little compromise can allow everyone to come out of a defiant situation, but still save face.If you're trying to figure out a way for the child to get something they want out of the deal, don't bend the rules.Sometimes kids want to feel like they're in charge of something, so try giving them a choice.You could say, "I know you don't want to sleep, but it's time to go to bed."Are you willing to sit in your bed or chair with me while we read a book?This will acknowledge the child's independence, but it will also reinforce the fact that you have the final say.