You want your party to be memorable.If you invite your friends or family members, you'll be surrounded by good company.If you accidentally invite the wrong person, what do you do?Uninviting someone from a party can be difficult, but with the right approach you can minimize the risk of conflict and ensure that your party is still a success.
Step 1: Talk to someone face-to-face.
You shouldn't uninvite someone by text or email.Depersonalizing the situation will only make it worse.Texts, emails, and social media correspondences are best for casual communication, but uninviting someone requires more tact and diplomacy.If a face-to-face conversation is not possible, a phone call is the next best thing.You must remain firm in your convictions.When you uninvite someone, always apologize.I know you were invited to the party, but I'm cutting back on the number of people I have over.I apologize for the cancelation.I would love to see you again.
Step 2: Don't put the conversation off.
Putting it off will not make the situation any easier.You will have to have a frank conversation with that individual eventually, and the sooner you do it the quicker you can get back to planning for your party.Waiting to uninvite someone will only build tension, and it may make it more inconvenient for the guest if they have to make travel plans or arrange for a babysitter, for example.
Step 3: Prepare yourself for the conversation.
They will probably want to know why you changed your mind when you uninvite them.Uninviting the person may force you to talk about something like a behavior issue or an addiction.Before you have a conversation with the person, think about why you are uninviting them.Write down your reasons for not inviting the guest and what you want to say.Think about how you would feel about the other person's position.Prepare to listen to their perspective, even if you are upset.
Step 4: Tell the truth and be direct.
Uninviting someone may hurt that individual's feelings, but lying to them about your reasons could make a tough situation even worse.It could do more damage than the revoked invitation would have done if the guest found out why they were not invited.Why are you uninviting them?Let the individual know if it's because of a fight or they broke up with a friend.Let them know that it's not personal if you're uninviting them.You don't want to offend them, but would prefer that they did not come.Imagine not inviting a friend to your daughter's birthday party.You may need to say something like, "When you were at Jeff's birthday party last weekend, you got drunk and said some really offensive things."Everyone was really upset by it.I want my daughter's birthday to be drama-free, and I don't feel like I can trust you to not make another scene right now.If you want to continue being friends with this person, you can offer to help them with their drinking problem, or encourage them to make amends to the people they offended.Let them know that the party is for your daughter and that you want to help, but that it's not about you.
Step 5: If you can, don't invite the person online.
Many party invitations are sent online.You can remove people from the list of invited people if you created an event on a social media platform.This individual will stop getting notifications about the party and will not receive any notification that you've uninvited them.Go to the event page.You can see a list of guests sorted by categories on the right side of the page.Click the "X" next to the person's name if you want to uninvite them.
Step 6: Let the person know why they're not welcome.
It may be best to be direct with the individual, even if you accidentally invited them through a mass online invitation.Explain to them that you didn't mean to invite them.If you don't want someone at your party because they tend to insult others or get too drunk, tactfully tell this person about your reasons.You could say, "I'm really sorry but I think it would be best if you didn't come to my party."You say mean things and drink too much.I don't want that to happen at my party.You may want to give this individual a chance to improve their behavior if you think they can behave.If you promise not to attend the party, you can come.
Step 7: Make up an excuse.
If you don't want to acknowledge the person's problematic behavior but still want them at your party, you might try making up an excuse.It's just as uncomfortable to make up an excuse as it is to tell the person why they're not welcome.If you can tell the individual that too many people are coming and that you'd rather meet with them one-on-one for coffee, they'll be more likely to attend the party.If you're co-hosting the party with someone, like another friend or a significant other, you might say that the host asked that you uninvite a few people; however, make sure your host knows about it and is okay with it first.
Step 8: The party could be made more exclusive.
Uninviting a group of people could make it easier.If you change your party to a gender-specific invitation group, for example, you could make it an all-girls or boys party.Again, this can be confusing if the person has already accepted the invitation, and it might need a bit of explanation over the phone or in-person.
Step 9: It is a last resort to cancel the party.
It is possible to cancel the event completely.It's possible to make up an excuse for the event being canceled, then invite people to a new party on a different date.It's a good idea to send out invitations a little more carefully the second time to make sure you don't end up in the same situation again.This can cause a lot of trouble, and it may offend the person that you are trying to get rid of.Caution is needed when using this method.
Step 10: Don't invite others to the party.
If you're throwing a small party at home, it's not uncommon for one of your guests to invite their friend or neighbor; however, this might make you feel like your privacy is being invaded a little, or it may put an extra strain on your party budget or supplies.Let the people you invite know that it's an invitation only event if you don't want any guests.Let everyone know that you want to keep it small and intimate, whether you send out formal invitations, an email blaster, or just word-of-mouth invitations.If you want to go on a case-by-case basis, you could always ask your guests to clear it with you first.If you don't want anyone to bring guests, send out an RSVP card that does not have a "plus one" option.Guests can fill out the form on cards that only have a "yes" or "no" option.
Step 11: As much as possible, be courteous.
Being courteous and polite is the best way to diffuse a potentially hostile situation.If you don't want someone at your party, you are still the host and that individual is your guest.You should treat people the way you would want to be treated.Even if you don't like the person, be friendly and welcoming.
Step 12: Should the unwanted guest be confronted?
You may be tempted to speak with someone you don't want at your party.Assessing what kind of damage the individual is doing and how frequently you will have to interact with that guest in the future is how you should weigh the decision to intervene.You don't have to worry about offending that individual if you only see them a few times a year.If you see each other frequently, it may not be worth fixing that individual's behavior.Having a serious talk may be a waste of time if you know the individual won't listen to you.It's best to bite your tongue if the individual is not causing any problems.If they are agreeable and get along with everyone, you can add one or two more guests.You may need to address the individual's behavior if they are upsetting the rest of your guests.If you want to speak with that guest in another room, you should do it in private.
Step 13: Talk to the person.
You can address the individual's presence at the party if they make other people uncomfortable, or you can speak with the unwanted guest about their behavior.You need to choose your words carefully.Don't address the individual's behavior.Tell the person what you would like them to do differently.It's best to be civil.People like being asked questions and given options.Say something like, "I really want this party to be fun for everyone, but your behavior is causing problems."You can stay if you stop, but I think you should leave.
Step 14: The individual should be asked to leave.
If you're having a hard time dealing with someone at your party, you might want to ask them to leave.It's best to be direct with the individual and let them know why you're not comfortable with them being there.In private, ask the individual to speak with you.Don't kick someone out of the party.Say something like, "I'm really sorry, but I am not comfortable with you being here."If you left, it would be best for everyone.Explaining why you want them to leave can be done if you feel comfortable with it.It's not rude to be straightforward yet polite.