It's hard to wait to have sex these days.Not every partner you find may agree with you on some issues.You can stand firm in your beliefs if you know your boundaries and reasons for abstaining.Studies show that waiting for sex leads to happier relationships.Abstinence is all about respecting your own boundaries.
Step 1: Think about why you want to wait.
It's important to think about what you want in a relationship and why you're waiting for sex.Are you planning on getting married?Do you want to take your relationship slowly?Think about why you want to wait.It will be easier to explain to your partner why you want to wait.There are many reasons to wait to have sex.To find the right person.Getting to know someone before sex.STDs or pregnancy can be avoided.Taking the relationship slowly.
Step 2: You should know your boundaries in advance.
What type of behavior are you talking about?Is it okay to kiss and touch?Are you waiting for oral sex?It is easier to stand your ground when temptation comes because you need to think about your lines now, not in the heat of the moment.What kind of things would be ok with you if you were to have a physical relationship?What would you prefer not to do?
Step 3: There are depictions of sex and fantasy in the media.
It would be almost impossible to escape the focus on sex in Hollywood and pop culture.That doesn't mean you need to look for it.Feel free to leave if something makes you uncomfortable.You'll never change how other people view sex, but you can respect your own boundaries and still have sex.If you feel pressured to become sexually active, remember that the promise of "life-changing sex" is not reality.
Step 4: Let your friends know that you're Abstinent.
Your friends will help you if you let them know about your decision and reasoning.Asking them not to discuss sex as much, helping you out at parties or difficult situations, and being a support system if you have questions or feel temptation are some of the things this may include.Every situation is made easier by having a good group of friends.
Step 5: In romantic situations, state your boundaries quickly and clearly.
It doesn't need to be a big conversation if you say this.The best way to get people to stop pressuring you is to let them know you aren't interested in sex.If someone is flirting too much or making suggestions you don't agree with, look them in the eyes and tell them you're not interested in sex.I would like to slow things down a bit and get to know you better.Thank you for the offer.I'll be home alone tonight.Thank you, I am not interested in hooking up tonight.
Step 6: If you leave events or parties, remain firm in your beliefs.
Peer pressure, media influences, and guilt-tripping can make you compromise your convictions.It is time to leave if someone is not respecting your decision to wait for sex."No thank you," or "it's just not for me" should be enough to get people off your back.You should leave the situation if someone still pressures you.If you let your friends know about your feelings, they can support you.You don't have to explain your decisions to anyone.If you decide to give one, keep your explanations brief and firm.
Step 7: Abstinence is the only way to prevent STDs.
Remember the consequences of your decision if you can't remember why you decided to wait.Abstinence is the only way to avoid STDs.This immediate benefit of abstaining can help you overcome temptation, no matter what reason you have for waiting.
Step 8: You should be upfront about your boundaries.
Let your partner know that you don't want to have sex.Don't hide your decision or act ashamed -- you have the right to do what you want with your body.Even if you conflict with your partner, getting this out in the open early will allow them to talk about their own boundaries.If you choose a time to talk before sexual tension starts, the talk won't be clouded by desire or lust.If your partner tries to convince you to change your mind, they may not have your best interests at heart.You want to be accepted by your partner.I've decided to wait until marriage for sex, and I wanted to find out how we can make it work.I enjoy spending time with you and I want to wait on sex as our relationship grows.
Step 9: Focus on becoming better friends and partners.
Waiting allows you to know each other without being pressured to have sex.You need to build your relationship on trust and communication in order to succeed.Take the time to talk.Take the time to eat dinner together whenever possible and find hobbies you both share.This will help you get a better idea of your partner without being blinded by sex, ultimately helping you decide if sex is right with them in the future.
Step 10: You can find the physical connections that you like.
Hand holding, kissing, romantic touching, and snuggling are all great ways to maintain a physical spark without sex.There are a lot of ways to enjoy each other's company.You don't have to escalate things if you find things that feel good.When taken slowly, holding hands and hugging are much more meaningful.
Step 11: Make sure you are working together.
Your partner may not be respecting your choices if they continually make passes at you.If you decide to wait, you should never stay with someone who makes you feel sad, angry or guilty.This is a play to get you to have sex.You and your partner have to work together to build a relationship.If your partner isn't doing their part, you should look for someone who is willing to listen to you.
Step 12: Avoid situations that are tempting.
A date at your house, alone, watching a movie in bed is not going to help you avoid temptation.If you decide to wait, there will be sexual tension between you and your significant other, but you can minimize it by having dates in public.If you want to avoid sleepovers, move to separate rooms late in the night.Instead of just hanging out, find activities together.Your relationship should be active.
Step 13: Waiting together will make you stronger.
According to new research, relationships that wait to have sex are much stronger, and lead to longer and happier couples.There isn't a magic number of days to wait.To avoid confusion the morning after, make sure you like and love the person before sex.Time to know one another is a benefit of waiting.The emphasis is on small acts.It's a good idea to avoid confusing lust for love.
Step 14: There is no right time to be sexually active.
There is no time that is too late to start having sex.You need to know that you aren't missing out because you've decided to practice abstaining.The "three-date rule" is archaic and overly-simplistic.No matter how many dates it takes, you should feel comfortable with your partner.
Step 15: Don't make quick decisions to stop waiting.
If you are considering becoming sexually active, you need to think about how your priorities have changed since you decided to wait.You don't want to regret your decision because you made it quickly.If you've thought about having sex for a few weeks, it might be time to start a relationship.Talk to your partner about how you see the world.It is important that your decision to become sexually active is made together.
Step 16: You should find a partner that you trust.
All relationships are based on trust and communication.Waiting to have sex is a great way to get to know someone without the awkwardness of a new sexual relationship.Having a partner who you can trust to treat you well will make the moment less anxious when you have sex.When you build trust in your relationship, your sex life will be much better.Open communication is the key to trust.Your entire relationship is not just about your sex life.
Step 17: Slowly work up to sex.
Don't rush under the sheets, take your time.You can stop and pull things back during foreplay or intercourse.Don't make it the end of your relationship by kissing, holding each other, and working up to sex.This will make it easier to approach sex.As you learn more about yourself and your partner, you can ease into it.
Step 18: Before committing, ask yourself if you're ready.
It's a big decision if you want to become sexually active.Before the heat of the moment, spend some time thinking about this alone.How do you feel when you are with this person?Are they kind and caring?Does this person agree with you?Are you talking about whether or not to have sex?Are you able to use birth control methods?Do you feel pressured to have sex just to please your partner, or do you really want to?