Sometimes we let go of people we love and care about, because we make mistakes.If you've broken up with a great person and regret it, there are some steps you can take to get back together.You have to take your time in order to make sure that the relationship lasts for a long time.It is possible that your hard work will pay off if you do.
Step 1: If you take your time, you can avoid relationship cycling.
A toxic pattern of breaking up and making up is relationship cycling.It is harmful to develop long- lasting, stable relationships when you ride a bike.If you want to avoid this negative pattern, you need to give yourself some time.
Step 2: Before considering a reunion, grieve the relationship fully.
You will grieve the end of the relationship for several weeks even though you were dumped.If you are still in the stages of grief for a failed relationship, you might be forced to reconcile with an ex too soon or for the wrong reasons.The stages of grief are denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance.Any urge to reignite a relationship with an ex should be viewed with suspicion until you have reached the acceptance phase.
Step 3: Enjoy being a single person.
Before you reach out to your ex, be happy with yourself.Reunite with old friends, learn a new skill, and take up a hobby.If you focus on yourself, you will be able to recover from the break up and be a better person.
Step 4: Take care of yourself.
Breakups can cause emotional and physical pain.You need to be sure that you are treating yourself well.Don't drink heavy, eat well, and sleep well.
Step 5: Why did you dump your ex?
If a relationship stifled your self-growth, it is better that you break up.Writing down how you feel will give you an objective sense of why you broke up with your ex.You should not be interested in your ex because of loneliness.If you don't like or respect your ex, you should not get back together with him or her.
Step 6: Do you think things have changed?
You might try to resist the urge to reconcile with your ex if the reason for the initial break up still exists.If you broke up with your ex because of the stresses of a long-distance relationship, don't try to connect with him if you still live far away.If you think that the two of you have moved past the reason for the break up, it could be a good idea to get back together.You might consider getting back in touch if you find yourself living in the same city as your ex.
Step 7: Decide if you want to reconcile with your ex.
More than a quarter of married couples have broken up at one point or another.Almost half of young adults have an ex.There are many reasons why you might reconcile with an ex.
Step 8: Make an initial contact.
It is necessary if you want to reignite a romance.Consider using a form of communication that will allow your ex to think before responding to you, such as an email, letter, or text message.This will allow you to choose your words and to change your initial message.
Step 9: Put the ball in your ex's court and keep your contact short and simple.
It's not a good idea to dump all of your feelings onto your ex after an initial contact.You should tell him or her what you know.You should make sure that your ex has the chance to respond so that you can begin to see if he is interested in reestablishing contact."Hello!" is a possible script.I wanted to get in touch with you because I have been thinking about you a lot.How have you been?It has been a long time since we talked, but I realize that I miss you a lot.It would be great if we could catch up.Let me know what you think about that!I heard a song on the radio that made me think of you.I know I'm not your favorite person, but I would love to hang out with you soon.How does that sound?
Step 10: Don't come on strong.
If your ex doesn't respond to your message, you might want to keep your distance.If your ex asks you not to contact him or her, you should honor that request.If you got in touch with your ex, let the ball stay in his court.
Step 11: A neutral activity can be proposed.
If your ex responds in a positive way to your message, suggest an activity that friends might do together, such as go out for a lunch or coffee, or attend a book-reading.You have serious issues to work out, but you can work on them a little later if you keep the conversation friendly and upbeat.It's important to take your time.You should show genuine interest in how your ex is doing.Ask about their hobbies and jobs.Even if it was without you, be happy for them if they have accomplished great things.It is possible that your ex moved on already.Maybe your ex is dating someone else or in a serious relationship.If your ex seems happy in a new relationship, it's a good idea to cut your plans to get back together.
Step 12: Follow your ex's lead.
After being dumped by you, your ex may have some complicated feelings.Maybe your ex feels angry towards you, or maybe he feels lost.One day, your ex might be excited about your friendship, the next he's hesitant.As the two of you get to know each other again, always respect your ex's wishes and be patient.
Step 13: Take your time.
Be aware that you might have to leave your partner again.The most dangerous thing you can do is force the relationship to progress quickly.You and your ex will be able to evaluate your feelings at each step of the way if you move slowly.
Step 14: Don't have sex right away.
Having sex too soon can restart a problematic break-up cycle, even though it is common to use sex to connect with an ex.You will have to let things progress at a slow pace if you want to create a lasting relationship.
Step 15: Be realistic with your expectations.
Maybe your ex won't want to have any contact with you, or maybe he has started dating someone else.As you begin to feel comfortable with each other, try to be generous and understanding.
Step 16: Prepare to have a hard conversation.
If you want your friendship to grow into something more, you have to address the elephant in the room: why you broke up.Before you talk to your ex about your feelings, consider keeping a journal or talking with a close friend.
Step 17: If you want to schedule a serious talk with your ex, tell him.
You don't want your ex to feel tricked.Be direct and honest.If you can set something specific down in your schedule, both of you will be prepared to talk about hard topics."I'm glad that we are friends again, but I think it might be a good idea for us to revisit what exactly went wrong in our romantic relationship."Do you think we could talk about that next week?I've been wondering why we broke up in the first place.Is that something you've been thinking about as well?Maybe we should have a time to discuss it.How is this Thursday looking for you?
Step 18: Discuss the reasons the relationship ended.
If you can find a neutral location without a lot of noise or distraction, the two of you will be able to work out what needs to be done.If you start talking about upsetting things, try not to get angry or upset.You should not blame your ex for your relationship troubles.
Step 19: You can use active listening techniques to hear your ex's concerns.
Your ex might have a lot to get off of because he or she was dumped.Even if it is painful for you, listen to what your ex has to say.They include using "I" statements, trying to restate your ex's words in your own language, and avoiding accusatory statements or patronizing tones.It is important that you listen to your ex in a cooperative way.This conversation should not become an argument.This is a positive thing and an opportunity for growth.
Step 20: You should apologize for the part you played in the break up.
In order for the two of you to get back together, you will need to apologize for any hurt you have caused.You should be honest about how you can convince your ex to trust you again.State clearly that you are remorseful for what happened.Take responsibility for your actions.It's possible to make it up to your ex.Make a promise that you will change and keep it.
Step 21: Tell your ex you want to get back together.
Explain that you are hoping that your break up is the beginning of something new and deeper.It is clear that you are hoping that the two of you will get back together.I'm glad that we talked about what went wrong when we were dating, because I have loved getting to know you again through our friendship.The two of us might be ready to get back together.What do you think?It makes me hopeful that the two of us might be able to be more than friends, because I really value this friendship we've developed.Do you feel the same way?If you were up for it, I would like us to start dating again.I think that they have made us stronger, even though we have had our share of hardship.
Step 22: Tell your ex how you have changed.
Break ups can help people learn about themselves and grow into better people.Show your ex that you are not the person who dumped him or her, and explain how you have become a better, more mature partner.
Step 23: Positive actions can show how you have changed.
Positive actions are important because your ex might be skeptical.You should always be trying to improve the mistakes of your past.If your ex is concerned that you don't communicate well, study up on communication techniques.Make time to support your ex when he or she is going through a difficult time if you're worried about how emotionally available you are.Your ex might be worried that you will dump him again.You should be patient with your ex's anxiety.You can guarantee that you will work and try your hardest to deepen the relationship and support your partner, even though you can't guarantee what the future holds.
Step 24: Don't set your expectations too high.
It is possible that your ex won't want to be with you again.Maybe your ex needs time to think before making a decision.You should be proud of the work you have put into improving yourself and your friendship with your ex.Even if you didn't win your ex back, your hard work will pay off in the long run.
Step 25: Tell yourself that the new relationship is different from the old one.
For the long-term success of a rekindled relationship, it is important to remember that you are trying to set a new path for your romance.Think of your reunion with your ex as a new relationship, not just a re-hashing of the old relationship.You are getting back together with an old love, but you are doing it in a more mature way.If you want to not repeat the mistakes of the past, learn from them and move on.
Step 26: A plan for how the relationship will grow into the future is needed.
If there are clear expectations for how the relationship will grow, relationships are more likely to succeed.There needs to be clear expectations about how the parties will fix the mistakes that led to the initial break up.Make sure the relationship is progressing as it should and that you don't fall into old patterns by setting goals and check-ins.
Step 27: Before making any serious commitments, you should date for a while.
It might be tempting to make a permanent commitment immediately, but remember that the best way to avoid a toxic cycle is to be careful as the relationship progresses.If your rekindled relationship is on a positive path, do not do anything permanent such as proposing or moving in together.You can go on romantic dates, go away for a romantic weekend, or cook your ex a nice meal.
Step 28: Don't use the break up as an excuse to argue.
Because the two of you were exes in the past, there might be old hurts to blame each other.During times of stress or turmoil, resist the temptation to throw these resentments at your ex.Arguments are healthy, but not always.
Step 29: You can express how much you care with loving rituals.
Even if the relationship is going well, people can sometimes feel less secure in their relationships after a break up.You can find ways to show your ex that you care, and you won't dump him or her again.Going for a weekly date can be included in these rituals.A nice gift.Affirmative of your love and devotion.When your partner does something kind, you should express your appreciation.You should be involved in your partner's hobbies and causes.