There are many forms of abuse.You've experienced emotional abuse, whether it's been manipulated emotionally, embarrassed repeatedly, berated, or humiliated by a boyfriend.If you've ever been physically or sexually abused by a boyfriend, you know what I mean.The only way to deal with an abusive boyfriend is to end the relationship as soon as possible.You can learn how to take immediate action.
Step 1: Get assistance.
Local resources can help victims of abuse.If you don't know where to start, or if you want to talk to someone about whether your relationship is abusive, try one of the following resources.If you live with an abusive boyfriend, you should be careful with your computer and phone use as he may be watching you.The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available in the US and the UK.
Step 2: Abused behavior should not be excused or dismissed.
Abusers often lead victims to believe that the abuse is their fault.It's not your fault that your boyfriend is acting aggressive or violent towards you.Even if your boyfriend has never hit you, your relationship can still be abusive.It is still abuse if you are emotional or verbal.The abuse isn't as bad as you've heard about.There have only been one or two instances of physical violence.A sign that more is possible is physical violence.When you became passive, stopped arguing, or stopped expressing your own thoughts, the abuse stopped.
Step 3: To end the relationship, form a plan.
It is a deal-breaker for a relationship to have physical and emotional abuse.Regardless of your love for one another, whether you have kids or pets, a relationship that involves physical or psychological abuse needs to be over.Now.As soon as possible, start planning to end the relationship.When you leave, think about where you're going.Know what you need to bring with you.If you have to, hide the bag so that it will be ready to go when you are.If you share a cell phone plan he may be able to find you or monitor you through your phone.Get a new phone and number if you leave it behind.Do you need to take any precautions after you leave?Do you need a restraining order?A new town?A new name?Do you have new locks on your doors?A plan is needed to keep others safe.It is possible that kids or pets will not be able to stay with you.When you leave, make a plan for your dependents.
Step 4: It is a good idea to end the relationship safely.
It's clear that you're ending the relationship with no hope of restarting it in the future.If you don't feel safe, you should end the relationship or have someone help you if you need it.Don't try to end the relationship while you are at home.If your attempt causes his abuse to escalate, you could be in serious danger.Break up in writing or over the phone, even if that's not how you would normally do it, because your safety is more important than social graces.If you feel you have to break up with an abusive boyfriend face to face, do it in public, with other people present, and keep the conversation brief.You should be short and to-the-point.Try to avoid phrases like "right now," "at this time," or "until you change." You should close the door completely on the relationship.
Step 5: Contact the authorities if you have any questions.
It's important that you speak with the authorities and explore your options after securing your physical security.You should be aware of safety precautions from the police.Make sure that your abuse ends.You should get in touch with a domestic abuse counselor as soon as possible to learn about your options.Depending on your situation and the length of your relationship, it may be difficult to get a new job, new apartment or make other big changes.Domestic abuse counselors can help.
Step 6: Take care of your abuse.
Keep a record of any attempts your partner makes to get in touch with you after a break up.Keep any physical evidence such as emails, social media messages, or text messages and write down a description of events that happen in person or on the phone.If the correspondence contains threats of violence, you need to document it.If you can, you should document any physical abuse that happened while you were with the abusive person or after the break up.In the event that you need a restraining order, this is an essential part of your case.
Step 7: A restraining order should be filed.
A personal protection order is a restraining order.Take any and all evidence of abuse, as well as a letter describing the abusive situation and the relationship between you and your abuser to your local courthouse.They should give you more information about how to get a restraining order.If the court approves your restraining order, it will need to be served.You can file a proof of service with the court after it has been served.Talk to the clerk at the courthouse.It's a good idea to keep a copy of your restraining order with you all the time.You don't know if your abuser will violate the order or not.A restraining order doesn't guarantee protection.It's easier to have your abuser arrested in the event of further incidents, but it may not be enough to keep a violent abuser away from you completely.
Step 8: Don't give a second chance.
Enough is enough.Don't try to contact or reconcile with your partner after you break up.It's over.The restraining order paperwork is a good place to start.There's nothing to say if you've been abused.Don't listen to any promises that your boyfriend will never do this again.The deal is broken by abuse.Abuse ends a relationship.
Step 9: You can make changes to your routine.
Don't come in contact with your abuser when you're first getting started.He won't know where you are at all times if you avoid places that you know he frequents.There is no reason for the situation to be awkward or dangerous.Try to ignore his presence if you work with or go to school with him.When you're going to and from work or your car, try and walk with others.If you want to keep yourself safe, you can talk to your boss, the HR department, or the school counselor.
Step 10: Take back your life.
It's common for domestic abuse victims to feel like they brought the abuse to themselves.No one is responsible for bringing abuse on themselves because of the manipulation of their abusers.After the abuse is over, you need to rebuild yourself from where you were in the abusive relationship.Therapy can help with your self-confidence.You can rebuild your social connections by relying on friends and family.Seek new relationships that are free of abuse.
Step 11: You can make an appointment with a domestic violence counselor.
It's critical that you talk to someone that understands the psychological trauma of abuse and the spells that can be cast by some abusers.Attend a local domestic violence support group as soon as possible to begin the healing process.
Step 12: Let yourself be angry.
It might take a while for it to come on, but there's likely a hidden well of anger hiding somewhere beneath the other emotions.Anger can be a catalyst for change.If anger overtakes you, channel it into productive energy-spending activities.Go running.Hit a large bag.Take yoga.Sweat your anger out.If you want to process your anger safely, be careful not to translate it into risky or self-destructive behaviors.
Step 13: It's important to build yourself back up.
Abuse leaves you exposed and raw.It can take a long time to build yourself back up into the unique, lovable, interesting person that you are.Allow yourself to mourn for a while and then get busy.If you have a break up, you may want to spend a week in bed, unable to do much but be depressed.It is important to know when it is time to get out of bed and start moving.Don't focus too much on ideas about lost time and regret.It was important for you to end your relationship and move forward.You should be happy that you didn't spend more time with the person.Look ahead to the future.
Step 14: Spend time with people you love.
List the people in your life who care about you the most.Think about the people who've supported you time in and time out, the ones who have loved you, and lifted you up through your toughest times.Family, life-long friends, trusted neighbors are the people you need to spend time with.Allow yourself to lean on them.
Step 15: Be kind to yourself.
It may be a while since you've been able to relax, to spend time with your close family members, or to do little things without the fear that they'll set off your angry boyfriend into spirals of abuse.It might take some time to let go of the fear and guilt associated with your abuse relationship, but eventually you will find life fun again.