Everyone likes to be heard.It's okay to want people to know how you feel.When it becomes excessive, silences or annoys others, or is embarrassing you, expressing yourself can be problematic.Being able to listen is a big part of being a good friend.If you're concerned that this art of conversation has bypassed you completely, here are some indicators and suggestions for what to do.Look at Step 1 to get started.
Step 1: Do you have your usual conversations?
Say you just met your friend for lunch and you're worried that you may have dominated the conversation again.Resist the urge to defend yourself by replaying the lunch date in your head.This will show you whether or not you talk a lot in comparison to other people."Who did most of the talking?" is a question you should ask.Did we talk about my friend or me?How many times did I interrupt my friend?
Step 2: Don't limit these sessions to your circle of friends.
Think about the way you talk to everyone, including your boss, co-workers, mother, and restaurant staff.
Step 3: Determine how you are most likely to start a conversation.
Do you start the conversation with a funny story of your life and observations without being asked?Is it likely that you will ask someone a question and let them tell you a story?You hog the spotlight when you focus too much on yourself, because conversation is a balance between both participants.
Step 4: The body language of others is what you should pay attention to.
Do people roll their eyes when you start talking or tap their foot impatiently?Do people phase out when you begin to elaborate on something?Do people simply nod their head and throw out irrelevant "Yeahs" and "Uh-huhs"?Do people sometimes ignore you completely when you get on a verbal roll, turn the other way and start a conversation with the next person?The other person may say something as simple as "you talk too much" and move away, which is an ultimate sign.Some indicators of whether you're boring or frustrating people by talking too much are provided by all of these.You're talking too much if you see signs like these.
Step 5: The people in your life are asking you to stop talking.
Is your boss always telling you to stop talking?Do you talk when other people are talking?Take note of that if it's true.People who talk a lot don't notice.
Step 6: Don't talk when other people are talking.
Most people don't take note of that rule.If others spoke while you were giving a presentation, you would be frustrated.
Step 7: See if people talk about you.
People that most people find annoying are the victims of rumors.A lot of people like to complain about people.
Step 8: You should keep a record of all the times you say more than you mean to.
Do you sometimes give away information you don't mean to?A friend's confidence or your own problems?You might say rude things about other people.In day-to-day conversations, note how often this occurs.Keep a small notebook and mark the times when you feel like you've slipped up.It will let you know how much is happening.
Step 9: Understand why you talk so much.
Do you do it for attention or just for fun?A lot of people talk a lot for attention but are not willing to admit it to themselves.
Step 10: Fix the problem.
It's time to get serious about curtailing the talk once you've finished your self-analysis and decided that you do talk too much.Don't think that I can change.If you can learn how to do other complex things in your life.You can learn about this as well.Some solutions are provided in this section.
Step 11: Try to listen more and talk less.
You are interested in what the other person has to say.People will be flattered by a good listening.There is no topic that interests them more than themselves.Remember, if you allow them to talk, don't interrupt, stay in sync with their body language, and ask lots of follow-up questions, they'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist without you needing to say much.Some people think that they are the best conversationist by talking the most.If a dinner guest takes more than half of the food on the table for a group, would you consider them a great guest?You're more likely to see them as being rude, selfish and lacking in social skills.
Step 12: Don't put too much air in the dead air.
In a group setting, this is true.Pauses are sometimes another person's thinking time and they are also moments for emphasis on what has already been said.Some people like to think and compose their answer at the same time.If you jump in at every pause, you swallow them up and throw them off their answer.If you hog all the gaps, others will feel like you are interfering with them.If nobody seems to want to speak, ask a question instead of making statements.Asking people about themselves is more important than jumping in with a "funny" story.
Step 13: If you are talking about a subject with someone, don't give them all the history or facts.
It can feel like a lecture to the other person.Wait to see if the other person really wants you to continue with more information, then give a brief summary or answer their direct question.They will ask you more questions if they do.They may give you a general "uh-huh" or non-verbal clue that they're not interested if they don't.
Step 14: A good conversation is like a rally.
"How was your holiday?" would be a good question to ask.After you have given your reply about your trip, be brief and to the point.If you want to return the favor, ask a question like "How about you, are you planning to go on any trips this year?"How was your week?How is the family?
Step 15: Don't say anything in a conversation.
If someone won't know that "Mike" is your neighbor, you should say something like "My neighbor Mike" or follow-up with an explanation.Dropping a name makes the person feel out of the loop, or that you are showing off.
Step 16: Slow down.
The amount of people behaving like bulls at a gate is growing, possibly due to the fast technological world we're now immersed in.People get excited and start a monologue.They forget that you need two people to hold a conversation, because they're so into what they have to say.This is not in the best interests of the person.Sometimes a quick mental note is all it takes to calm down.Before you tell your friends, take a deep breath and collect yourself.Think before you speak.If you take time to think about how you're going to say it, your special story will have more impact.
Step 17: At least learn to stop disrupting people.
In today's fast-paced world, many of us have been guilty of either saving ourselves time or saving others time.We have been desensitized to this way of carrying on a conversation.It's now commonplace to find yourself cut off from finishing your sentences, only to be interrupted by your own personal stories, thoughts, or commentaries.It's a practice which states "I don't find you interesting enough, and so I'm just going to say what I want tosay because I assume I am of greater interest."The most basic rule of human interaction is respect.Listen above all else, no matter what the topic is, the next time you are in a conversation.Personal input is a great way to express yourself, but never at the expense of the other person's feelings.This is a great way to gain the honor of being a good listener.
Step 18: The cause or effect should be considered.
Why do you talk so much?Do you not get an opportunity to be heard?Is it possible that you were ignored or stifled as a child?Do you feel like you're not good enough?Are you lonely because you are holed up all day?Too much of a good thing?Have you been able to increase your rate of speech when pressed for time?The effect that fast- and long-winded talkers have is draining the other party, overwhelming and exhausting them until they can find an exit strategy.Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can "reset" your speaking habits if you slow down and work on it.
Step 19: In an entertaining manner, learn to express yourself.
This will help.Learning to tell stories well means staying on topic, pacing them well and keeping the audience interested.It's one important key.You're more likely to get a laugh if you tell it in fewer words.Listen to some of your better stories.Take drama classes.You can get attention by participating in talent shows and open mic events.If you're entertaining, people won't mind if you talk too much and shy people will prefer someone else to talk.
Step 20: Talk at appropriate times.
When others are concentrating or learning, don't talk.Wait to talk to your friend after work or school.Unless your teacher or boss allows you to have talking time at work or school, never talk about non-school related things.Unless it's related to the topic at hand, never speak in a meeting or take a test.