It's possible to overcome obsession in a relationship.
It's possible to kill a relationship.Wanting to be with a person 24/7. never letting this person out of your sight or mind is the very thing that snuffs the love.This can mean that you lose the very relationship you care about.Find real, authentic love by learning how to overcome this challenge.
Step 1: Be aware of the dangers of being obsessed with another person.
Personal growth and individuation are prevented by obsession.It isn't possible to get all that you need from another human being and trying to do so will smother the other person and leave you feeling dependent and helpless.Negative outcomes for both you and the person you're in the relationship with.
Step 2: Find authentic love.
You love a person because of who you are.Only you can fulfill the things that are lacking in this person.Being in love is a choice, not something that is visited upon you as some sort of salvation.Love doesn't distract you from the challenges you're facing.Growing up, maturing and finding your own path in life isn't a way to hide from love.
Step 3: You should be aware that obsession can close your opportunities.
It is possible that you don't see the limitations of the relationship because you are obsessed with one person.While you're enslaved to an obsessive, one-sided relationship, the person who would be more compatible with you might walk right on by.If you don't pay attention to any person in your life, you will be able to know that the relationships you are in are right for you, and if not, will start looking for healthier connections.
Step 4: Everyone is different and timing is important.
It's possible that the person you're with has priorities in his or her life that you don't understand.You're in need of a reality check if you become obsessed and hope that your existence will change your priorities.People who are pushed to change their plans end up resenting that person.Losing this person is like losing a part of yourself when you're so deeply embedded.It's better to be aware of the possibilities from the beginning rather than trying to get this person to love you.
Step 5: Relax a bit more.
If you think this is the right person for you, remember that they may not be in the same stage of the relationship as you are.Don't try to make things happen faster.You should adjust your pace.If you turn the heat down a little, you will feel better and they may miss you enough to make a deeper commitment, because not everyone falls in love at the same rate.
Step 6: It's time to admit to yourself that you have an obsession.
You can give yourself some time to work through it.You will have a hard time overcoming a problem if you don't admit you have one.
Step 7: Love yourself.
Self-love and self-absorption are unrelated.Self-love is caring for your own needs and wants and respecting your dignity.It's handy to have a sense of purpose that matches who you are, but it may take some people longer than others to figure out who they are.Self-absorption is about putting your own needs before anyone else's.People who are self-absorbed may not have a good opinion of themselves.
Step 8: If you're still working out, don't care about other people.
The more confused you are, the more you owe it to other people to let them know you're still figuring it out.Not wanting to commit is a form of hiding from reality.To let the other person know that you're still finding your way in life, and to let them know if you ever start trying to blur the boundaries by over-relying on the support, love and attention from this person instead of standing on your own two.Both of you will be able to steer through the challenges with honesty.
Step 9: Dedicate yourself to activities and goals that match who you are.
One of the signs of an obsessed partner is that they only do what the partner does, only love what they do, and only focus on what their partner focuses on.It is expected when you first fall in love that you replace your interests with those of your partner.A good balance can be found between taking part in your partner's interests out of curiosity, love or simply being friendly.Keep playing sports and hobbies.Don't expect a "forever commitment" to your interests by your partner either, if you ask them along sometime to see what you do.As you grow, start new interests.If you fear that your partner won't like you changing or learning new things, do not stifle your maturing.All human beings grow and change over time, and this is to be expected from a partner who feels this way.Stay active with your interests.Your relationship is not a replacement for the range of joys in life.
Step 10: It's important to see your friends, family and community.
Don't make the excuse that your partner is everything to you and that you must always be with him or her at the expense of everyone else in your life.The first few months of a new relationship often contain an element of complete immersion in one another, but it isn't good for this to continue for a long time.If you want to get back in touch with your friends and family, you need to do a lot of community-spirited activities.A good partner will see your commitment to others as part and parcel of who you are and respect it if you don't lose touch with anyone at the beginning of the relationship.If you have a partner who wants you to spend less time together and more time with each other, be careful.This is a sign that you are being manipulated by a controlling person and not letting anyone else into your life.When you were manipulated into it, you may end up convincing yourself that you made the choice.
Step 11: Enjoy your relationship more.
It's hard to have fun in a relationship if you worry about every word and action and feel jealous about anyone that removes your partner from you.Your one true love may or may not be this person.It sets you up for obsession if you realize that a "one true love" is an ideal.If you both work out, it will be because you've enjoyed one another's company and have not fallen apart when apart.If it doesn't work out, no amount of obsessive thinking would ever happen again.
Step 12: It's a good idea to make your social media exchanges brief.
They should not be hogging their time, wall or scrolling feed.They don't want you to know about their whereabouts, about people they're engaging with online or about your hurt feelings.Everything you type in and save is there for good and the more you obsess in the online environment, the faster it becomes clear to more than just your partner that you have a boundary problem that just isn't healthy.Give each other space online, keep the messages simple and sweet, and leave the deep talk for face-to-face time.It's time to quit Facebook stalking.Do you really need to know what your partner is up to?Don't spend a lot of time on social media.Walking in nature and reading a good book can distract you.
Step 13: Don't wait for your partner to make your date happen.
When this person doesn't call, text or email you, consider your feelings.If you're usually so crazy, angry or sad that you put off doing other things to wait and then end up making all sorts of excuses to explain this silence, it's probably because you are failing to get on with your life.Don't think the other person is thinking about you.Even if you are an incredible person, your partner is probably focused on their own life.They will contact you if they feel interested in you.It means they are busy or have other things to be doing that don't need your hand-holding.None of these reasons are about you or leaving you out, they're just about getting on with your life.If your partner fails to contact you because he or she doesn't care, that's not a reason to be obsessive.There is a reason to find a new partner.
Step 14: What is missing should be improved.
If you lack confidence, have low self-esteem, fear the future, or are dealing with an emotional outfall from your upbringing, seek appropriate help.There is a risk that you will try to use your partner as a proxy for feeling better about yourself if you don't seek healthy outlets.You can develop your self-esteem, deal with your feelings of loneliness, and learn to connect with other people outside of a romantic relationship.You are putting effort into building your sense of self worth rather than trying to get it from another person.If you feel like you need a partner, take a good look at yourself.We all need healthy social relationships, supportive people and love, but a partner is only one source of that.It is something many people would like in their lives, but neediness shouldn't be the reason to get involved with someone.Remember, love is a choice, not an imperative.Pick wisely.The more you care about yourself and others, the more likely you are to attract someone who will love you.Being the best person you can be and caring broadly for all people are attractive qualities in any person.
Step 15: If you don't feel the love, move on.
You can't love another person more than you love yourself.When you feel a relationship is wavering, the cliché "if you love someone, let them go; if they love you, they will come back" is even more relevant.Make it clear that you love this person, but you won't tolerate second-rate love, shenanigans, unkindness or any other negative behavior.Tell your partner to get their act in order.If you're obsessive because of bad behavior, it can be hard to give an ultimatum and let go, which can lead you to cling to something that is not healthy for you.You don't deserve incomplete love or a shadow of love, you deserve the entire commitment.Let's see what happens.You are free if complete love isn't forthcoming.