You may have heard the expression, "The heart wants what it wants."When your heart wants someone inappropriate, what do you do?It's not the problem if you have a crush on someone.Your own self-control is the real issue.Step 1 will show you how to get over your crush and move on with your life.
Step 1: The crush is a bad idea.
If you want to pursue your crush, you need to change your focus and consider all of the reasons that the crush isn't worth pursuing.It's important to know exactly what you're getting yourself into in order to avoid a crush.You should think about why the crush is a bad idea, and consider potential reasons that you may be feeling what you're feeling.If they're a lot younger than you and they have a different set of priorities, why are you interested in them?Are you more into the idea that you can call the shots if you have a guy who works for you?If you have a crush on your brother's girlfriend, is it because you want to get one over on him?It might be a bad time to take action because you are feeling vulnerable and needy.
Step 2: If your crush is inappropriate because you're already in a relationship, consider your background.
If one or both parents had extra-marital affairs when you were growing up or if you have a history of infidelity, you may have some underlying issues that need to be addressed to enjoy a committed relationship.
Step 3: If you're already in a casual relationship with no children who can be affected by leaving it, ask yourself if your crush is inappropriate.
If you're in a relationship and have a crush on a guy, you have to ask yourself if it's really worth it, or if this is just your way of telling yourself that it isn't working out.Would you be able to develop strong feelings for another person if you and your boyfriend were really happy?If your crush becomes more serious, then you should question your current relationship.If there is a problem, this is your chance to leave.If this continues, you should question the status of your relationship.If you occasionally click with someone outside of your relationship and feel a harmless crush on him or her while knowing it won't lead to anything, that's one thing, but if you feel frequently involved in a one-sided love affair, then you have to wonder about the real reason
Step 4: Let go of an age-inappropriate crush is important.
Equals need to happen in relationships.It's important to date someone who is in your stage of life, such as high school, college, newly entering the workforce.Someone about to graduate from college and be in a relationship with someone who recently graduated from it.Dating someone in a different stage of life is not likely to work out and may involve exploitation.The stage of life and level of maturity should be close.Older people should not date people who are too young for them.It's difficult to relate to someone who has different goals, responsibilities, abilities, friend groups, and other ideas that change with age.An imbalance of power is caused by a significant age gap.A 16-year-old is more experienced than a 12 year old.A 46-year-old is more experienced than a 25-year old.The younger person may be pressured to do things they are not ready for.They could get hurt even if they say they're ready.If the younger person is an adult, then legal action could be taken against the older person.The older person may be seen as predatory.
Step 5: Project the possible consequences.
What would happen if you got involved with this person?Them?Do you have friends, family, or co-workers?If I do this, they will do that, my brother will hate me, then the first time we argue, I will lose my job..."If you and your crush were to unite, it would be a huge mistake.Do you think the potential relationship with this person is worth all the trouble you will endure, and what are the chances the relationship will survive all of the chaos that will follow?
Step 6: Consider your reputation.
Will other people think more or less of you?Though we often say that love conquers all, in some cases, the fact of the matter is that what other people think may make it difficult for you to carry out your potential.To consider how other people would react to your relationship, it's important to step back and look at the big picture.Consider how others would react if you knew it was inappropriate.It's not cool to try to steal a girl from a friend.You will lose your friend if you end up with her.If you are older and the boy is a minor, you will be considered a cradle-robber, and you could be looking at jail.Sex with a minor is a crime.You might have a crush on your wife's sister.Would your wife ever be able to look you in the eye if you did anything about it?Would her family ever forgive you?
Step 7: Think about the future.
If you get involved with someone that isn't right, you will have to deal with other issues.You will be dealing with it for a long time into the future.It is one thing to think about the exciting adventures you will have with your inappropriate crush if he or she comes back, but it is another to imagine what your relationship will look like in a few years.Will it be possible to sustain it?Will your feelings last?It's important to think about whether you can really have a future with this person, or if you would just be sacrificing everything for a few fleeting moments of joy.It is possible that the person you are crazy about is not very nice.You stop spending time with your friends and family.She's flaky and you become flaky too, because she won't let you do what you said you'd do.Everyone you know will still distrust you even after you break up with her.They will question your judgement when you get involved with someone like that.
Step 8: Don't focus on your crush's good qualities.
A crush involves an idealized picture of someone else.Even your crush has characteristics that are not pleasant.Maybe he says mean things to people or she listens to dumb music.Maybe he or she ignores you.To weaken the crush, try to work up some negative energy about the person that you can focus on.List the negative qualities of your crush.This means that you don't know the person well enough if you think that your crush is perfect and you cannot think of a single thing wrong with him or her.If you can't think of anything wrong with your crush, then you have him or her up on a pedestal.One of the reasons your crush may be inappropriate is because the person is bad for you.Writing down the reasons why, such as the fact that the person abuses alcohol or is a known player, can help you see that, while you may get butterflies in your stomach, he's no good for you in the long run.
Step 9: Distract yourself as much as you can.
You need to stop focusing on this person now that you've analyzed, considered, and meditated on how bad this idea is.No matter how tempting it is to think about him/her, fantasize, and get yourself all tingly doing it, think and do something else.It's called redirecting behaviors and thought patterns in loose psychological terms.To stop thinking about your crush, you have to find ways to stay busy.If all you do is sit around the house all day, then your inappropriate crush will be harder to forget than if you have an active social life.You'll be so busy thinking about nothing else that it will be hard to not think about your crush.You will be on your way to moving forward soon.Referring your thoughts is something you can learn to do.Think about how much you love the person you're with instead of thinking about him/her.How much work do you have to do?If you're at home, you can listen to the radio or TV.Call a friend if you still feel like you have a crush on someone.You can stop thinking about your crush if you ask your friend if he or she wants to hang out.Throw yourself into a new activity.Try tennis, yoga, writing, or training for a 5K.These activities won't make you forget your crush, but they will help you think of other things and bring more richness to your life.
Step 10: The person should be avoided as much as possible.
The crush will weaken if you remove yourself from that person.We need to see the person in order to sustain our love for them.Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.This isn't always practical, but do what you can to minimize contact with the other person.While trying to find a way to limit the time you spend with your crush, try to avoid doing anything dramatic.It would be difficult to limit contact with the person completely.You may have to look for a new job if you have a crush on your boss.If you have a crush on your professor, you might be able to switch to another class.If you have to be in the same room with the person, try to avoid eye contact.If you avoid or ignore the person entirely, you should limit how much time you spend with them.
Step 11: Give it some time.
The crush fades with time.If you can keep your feelings in check, eventually those powerful emotions will run their course.You may feel like you're trapped, but that won't be the case.You will wonder how you could have harbored such feelings one day.You will be on your way to getting over it if you have faith that you won't feel this way.It takes a long time to get over a crush.If you live a busy and fulfilling life, you will be able to get over it quicker.
Step 12: When you are ready, start dating other people.
When you're starting to get over your crush, you should begin to put yourself out there.It won't be fair to the other person to start dating just to distract yourself if you're still completely lovesick.If you want to meet new people, ask a friend to set you up.Your crush is far from your thoughts.If that person does not measure up to your crush, it doesn't matter.It doesn't matter if you spend time with someone other than that person.You should start dating others and keep an open mind.You have to think about being with someone else if that person is off limits to you.
Step 13: You have to find a way to make it right if you can't fight it.
Sometimes it's not possible to convince yourself that you don't feel the way you feel.If you've tried to fight it, all you can do is sigh and make it right.The most important thing to remember is to make it right first, and then to get involved.True love wins the day.If she is your brother's girl, you have to act like a gentleman and never hit on her.If your brother breaks up with her, you can ask him if you should ask her out.Maybe he wouldn't mind, and there is precedent for that.Unless you are prepared to accept the consequences if he doesn't break up with her, you're out of luck.If you're falling for your boss, you have to decide what to do at work.You can either transfer to another department or take on a different position so that your relationship wouldn't be seen as inappropriate or a power play.