It's hard to make yourself love someone.There is no fail-proof formula for making love happen, as it is a complex cocktail of chemicals and circumstances.Do you want to love someone?You may not be able to make it happen.If you are determined, you can open the way for love by establishing an emotional connection and intimacy.
Step 1: Be patient.
Love doesn't always happen at first sight.Give yourself time to get to know the person.As they bloom within you, slowly, like the coming of spring, notice the stirrings of affection.If you want to truly appreciate a person, try to separate love from lust.
Step 2: Let it be known that you're vulnerable.
It can be hard to love someone if you don't allow yourself to be authentic.Share your dreams, fears, doubts, and joys with this person.A genuine and powerful human connection can be created.It can be difficult to open yourself up in this way, but be brave.Maybe not all at once, but show the person your scars, tears, and deepest thoughts.
Step 3: The best parts should be the focus.
You can be attracted to and repelled by the different aspects of a person's personality.It will be easier to love them if you pay more attention to the positive things.This might be a good decision if the negatives are small.It may be wise to ignore the negatives if they are honest-to-goodness deal-breakers.
Step 4: Don't fake it, make it.
The act of pretending to be in love with someone can cause real feelings of connection, according to some research.Try to act like you are in love with this person if you feel comfortable doing so.You can use your imagination to see where it will take you.It's a good idea to be careful with this one.Don't pretend for so long that you lose your way.To live authentically, do your best.If the other person is doing the same thing, this method may be more effective.It is difficult to foster love if both parties are not fully engaged.
Step 5: The Aron 36-question method was used.
Arthur and Elaine Aron have been studying how and why people fall in love for nearly 50 years.Through their research, the couple came up with a list of questions that can foster deep intimacy between two people in a lab setting.The method has been shown to reignite the romance in long-term couples and spark a connection between relative strangers.
Step 6: The first set of questions will be asked by each other.
If you want to fall in love, explain the experiment to your partner.Agree that you will sit down together and answer all 36 questions.The process should take a few hours.Who would you want as a dinner guest?Would you like to be famous?In what way?Do you rehearse what you are going to say before making a call?Why?What is a perfect day for you?When did you stop singing to yourself?To someone else?If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you prefer?Do you have a hunch about how you will die?What are three things you and your partner have in common?Do you feel grateful for anything in your life?What would it take to change the way you were raised?Tell your partner your life story in four minutes.What would it be if you woke up tomorrow with a single quality or ability?
Step 7: Go to the second set of questions.
The experiment should be reexamined once you have answered all of the questions.Continue to the next 12 questions if you're still comfortable with this person.The questions are designed to prompt deeper and more personal answers.What would you want a crystal ball to tell you about yourself, your life, the future or anything else?Is there something you have wanted to do for a long time?Why haven't you done it?What is the most significant achievement of your life?What do you value the most in a friendship?What is your favorite memory?What is your worst memory?Would you change anything about your life if you knew you would die suddenly?Why?What does friendship mean to you?What are the roles love and affection play in your life?You can share something with your partner that is positive.There are five items.How warm is your family?Do you think your childhood was better than most other people's?What do you think about your mother?
Step 8: The last set of questions had 12 questions.
You should be talking to the person by now.You can either feel a powerful and intimate connection or you can just talk to them.Move on to the third set of questions if you're still positive about the experiment.Each statement should be three true "we" statements.If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for them to know.Tell your partner what you like about them, but be very honest and say things that you might not say to someone you just met.Tell your partner about an embarrassing moment in your life.When was the last time you cried in front of someone?By yourself?Tell your partner something you like about them.It's too serious to be joked about.What would you most regret not telling someone if you were to die this evening?Why haven't you told them?Your house is on fire.You have time to save any item after saving your loved ones and pets.What would it be?Why?Whose death would you find most disturbing?Why?Ask your partner's advice on how to handle a personal problem.Ask your partner to reflect on how you feel about the problem you have chosen.
Step 9: They should gaze into each other's eyes.
Research shows that eye contact can help establish intimate feelings between two people.Eye contact alone is not enough to make you fall in love with someone.If you want to get to know someone better, try to look into each other's eyes for four minutes.If you don't feel comfortable talking about your intentions, try to make eye contact whenever you can, ideally during a conversation or intimate moment.
Step 10: Don't lie to yourself.
If you want to be in love with this person, make sure that you do so for healthy reasons.You don't need to love someone just because they love you.Don't try to force love for the sake of convenience.
Step 11: Understand how complex love is.
There are a number of conscious and subconscious choices that lead to love.Chemicals that act behind the scenes make us more or less likely to fall in love with someone.You may be able to set up the right conditions for love.The feelings may be beyond your control.Keep perspective.Love is studied.Why people in love feel the way they do is because of how attraction and intimacy fire up dopamine and serotonin in our brains.You might have a better idea of how love works if you know the science.
Step 12: You have to make sure you want this.
If you have fallen out of love with a long-term partner, you want to reignite the romance.Are you doing this for the sake of stability, or is it for what you want?You may have been set up with an arranged marriage, or you may be in a serious relationship with someone that you don't know about.You don't need to make yourself love anyone.Allow yourself to discover the love that you deserve.