You have a major influence on the lives of your children, but they are also being influenced by their peers.As your children grow up, you may become concerned about the influence that their older siblings have on them.Through setting boundaries and expectations, talking with your children, and encouraging positive relationships, you can counteract any negative influence that exists.
Step 1: Have household expectations.
Setting household expectations of your children is the most important step in ending negative influencing.You might expect them to abide by the rules when they are in your home.Children need a lot of structure in order to understand appropriate behavior, so give that to them by clarifying the rules.Establish a chore schedule so they know what to do.Set the same household rules for all children, but perhaps give a bit of flexibility for older children.You might have to tell younger kids that they can look forward to this flexibility one day, too, because privileges are gained with age and maturity.
Step 2: Rules and boundaries are communicated.
In addition to having set rules in your home, you will need to make sure that your children are aware of these rules and have a standard of behavior to follow when they are out of the house.There is time to have a family discussion of these rules.All of your children should sign them.Set rules for how they should behave at school, such as "no talking back to the teacher or talking in class." This will help ensure that your older children are being good influences both away from and while at home.Discuss them from time to time.As the children grow and face new challenges, this will allow you to modify the rules.
Step 3: Set and enforce punishments.
Children will not take these rules very seriously if they don't have consequences for breaking them.If you want to let your child off the hook, tell them the punishments that will be enacted if they act out and enforce them.Set punishments that are appropriate for your child's age.If you grounding a 15 year old will have a different effect than if you do the same with a 6 years old.It is important to not show favoritism when one child acts out, this will foster negative relationships among siblings if they feel unfairly treated by their parents.Don't enforce the rules when you're emotional.Wait a while and be sure to be calm and composed.
Step 4: They should be Monitor their interactions.
Older children can have a negative impact on younger ones.Both parties could be to blame for the negative vibes.To see where the source of the negative vibes is coming from, quietly observe them.Don't listen to them.Just listen.You should not blame your older children without fully understanding their dynamic.Listen to both sides.Children need to feel heard and understood, and this will help you determine if some of their needs aren't being met and if this is fueling conflict.The more time an older sibling cares for a younger child, the more likely they are to influence behavior.If you're worried about an older child's impact on the younger, don't use them as a baby sitter.
Step 5: They should talk to their other parent.
You will need all of the support that you can get in order to assess and improve your children's dynamic.Talk to your spouse, partner, or parent to help you set boundaries.The rules will likely not be respected by the children if they feel that the rules are being bent by one parent.In front of the children, don't argue with one another.Your authority will be undermined by this.
Step 6: TV and movies can be used as conversation starter.
It might seem awkward to have very serious talks with your children, but remember that it's your responsibility to steer them in the right direction.To create a more comfortable and natural environment to chat, you can use scenes from TV and movies.If a scene depicts drinking or alcohol and your older child encourages your younger one to partake in that, you can show them the potential harm in a safe, non-judgemental way.Television and movies show the dangers of certain behaviors that your child may not have considered.Did you notice how badly drinking alcohol affected her life?
Step 7: You shouldn't lecture your child.
If you want the best for your child, don't preach to them.If a message is being repeated to them or if it is told in a way that makes them feel anxious, kids tend to blank out.It's a good idea to avoid beingjudgemental and repeating yourself.Come to your children calmly and compassionately.Speak to them peacefully.
Step 8: Your child should be encouraged to be himself.
Explain to your children that you are your own person.They should remind them that they are not perfect.If you want to counteract any negative influences on them, talk to them about their own strengths and how they can shine through more.When you look up to your older brother, you must remember that he makes bad choices, choices that you don't have to make.You are a good person and I want to see more of that.If you have siblings of your own, relate how you felt about them.This applies to younger siblings as well.Older children can learn how your younger siblings interacted with you.
Step 9: Listen to them.
Talk to your children and give them wisdom, but make the conversation mutual.They should be given the space to discuss their thoughts and concerns.It's a good idea to talk to both your younger and older children at the same time to make sure you're not missing anything.Don't judge your child for sharing their questions and concerns, and promise to listen without judgement.Don't panic, watch your reactions at these times.Don't interrupt them, talk over them or only listen to respond.Listen to what they have to say.
Step 10: They know their friends.
If you look more closely, you might see that your younger child is being influenced by their friends.Take some time to see the influence your children's friends are having on them.Talk to your children about how important it is to have good friends.They should have their friends over for dinner.If they are public, you might check out their social media accounts.
Step 11: Talk to your children.
Discuss with your children how important their role is in their sibling's life.Tell them that their younger sibling is watching them and modeling their behavior after them, even if they are not aware of it.Let them know of any changes in their siblings.You could start the conversation by saying that you have noticed that your sister has been acting out as well.She wants to be like you.It is important to keep in mind that you are her role model and work to be a positive one in her life.Poor choices will not be the only ones that younger siblings will emulate.
Step 12: Encouraging communication is a good way to encourage it.
Encourage your children to talk to each other in a positive way.Encourage conversations between the two by having family dinners together.Correct any negative communication between the two.Did you see your sister play today?What did you think?
Step 13: Appropriate behavior can be models.
If you don't want your children to yell, insult, or be rude to one another, then do not show them these behaviors outside of your household.If you are being hypocritical, your children will not take you seriously.To be the kind of person that your children will be, you need to work.Show kindness to them, be respectful of others, and maintain your responsibilities.
Step 14: They are encouraged to spend time together.
Encourage your children to spend time together.If your child is good at math but your sibling is not, ask them to help.It is important for siblings to have time that is theirs and something they look forward to.You can buy tickets for a concert or a movie.Give them an allowance per week so they can spend time with each other.You could give them a task and have them complete it together.This is a psychological tool that can be used to build relationships.
Step 15: It's a good idea to create a peaceful home.
Older children might be a negative influence in your household.Drug use, alcohol abuse, violent movies or games, and unnecessary loudness should be eradicated.If you can create peace in your home, your siblings will feel better about themselves.Conflict between parents is what causes this sort of behavior.If parents are willing to seek help, they should take a hard look at their own relationships with other adults in the house.
Step 16: You should not compare your children.
It might be difficult, but don't compare your children or put them down for not measuring up.Don't make them feel inferior by pitting them against one another.All of your children are special in their own way.Love them for those.List all of the things you love about your children.