Breakups are difficult enough, but when you and your former partner bring a pet into your lives that you both care for, it can become a serious issue.Courts will determine custody arrangements for pets, just as they do for children, even though the U.S. law is slowly but surely recognizing the deep bond that many people share with their pets.If you want to work out something with your former partner, it's better to let someone else make that decision for you.
Step 1: Look at the context of the relationship.
Attempting to negotiate pet custody with your former partner may not be the best option if your relationship involved physical or emotional abuse.Unless there are abuse problems, you should be able to get your former partner to listen to reason.If you suspect that your former partner might hurt your pet, you should call an animal law attorney.You can find an animal law attorney in your city or state by doing a general internet search.You can find names in the online directory of your state or local bar association.Some animal law attorneys have been successful in getting restraining orders that include pets.If you're worried about the safety of your pet as well as yourself, talk to a family law attorney who has experience with restraining orders.You can get help from a domestic violence shelter.
Step 2: You can schedule a meeting.
Ideally, you want to talk about pet custody in a private environment where the two of you can discuss the issues with a minimum of distraction.A neutral location could be a local cafe or restaurant.Don't make it late at night or on a weekend when the place will be packed, but go for a time when you are both available.Let them know what you want to talk about.If they try to insult or demean you for making such a big deal over it, simply tell them that it means a lot to you and you would appreciate it if they would take you seriously.Keep your conversation civil when you call to schedule the meeting.There's no need to fight about the issue over the phone if you want to meet and discuss it.
Step 3: Do not give your pet away.
Pets are considered property according to state law.The law favors the person in possession when it comes to determining ownership of other items of personal property.The phrase "possession is nine-tenths of the law" may have been used.The issue of pet custody is related to this phrase.It is possible to get your pet back if you come to an agreement with your former partner.Chances are the court will award custody to them if you take them to court because they already have the animal.
Step 4: Use written notes to help you.
Issues in pet care include food, activities, and veterinary care.If both of you love the pet and want what's best for the animal, you want to go over all of these aspects at your meeting with your former spouse.An outline of your pet's history can be created from the beginning.You can use this to argue for pet custody after a break-up.Suppose you adopted the pet.Your former partner was reluctant at first and wanted nothing to do with it, but eventually came around and loved the animal.The fact that you adopted the animal works in your favor.If you are the one to take your pet to the vet and buy its food, it helps.Money can be hard to come by if you have a joint bank account.Think about who provided most of the attention.The person who most often feeds and cares for the pet may be the one who is more attached to the animal.
Step 5: A rational approach is used.
If you're particularly attached to your pet, it can be difficult to hold back your emotions, but try to look at the situation objectively and determine which of you is best suited to take care of the animal.If your former partner takes better care of your pet than you do, you may want to give them custody.It's important to understand that you want to be able to visit your pet once a week and take the dog for a walk in the park.You can use the reasons you wrote in your outline to explain to your former partner why you want custody of your pet.
Step 6: You don't want to insult your partner.
Breakups are rare for no reason.The last thing you want to do is turn your pet custody meeting into a shouting match.You both love and care for your pet, so keep that in mind.If your former partner didn't care about the animal, they would probably let you have it.Turn your attention to your pet if you get angry or frustrated.Remember what you're doing when you keep your pet's face in your mind.If things start to get heated, it can help to remind your former partner that you're both there for your pet.
Step 7: Make an effort to hear what's going on.
Assume that your former partner cares about your pet.They may be concerned about your ability to care for the animal.You have to keep an open mind and listen carefully to learn these concerns.To draw out their reasons for not wanting to give you custody of your pet, try to ask your former partner questions.By listening to your former partner's concerns, you may be able to find a solution that makes both of you happy and puts your pet in as good a position as it was before the break up.Suppose your former partner is concerned that you won't have time to take the dog for a walk during the day because you have a 30-minute commute to work.You may be able to work out an arrangement in which you allow your former partner to come over during the day to walk the dog.You could potentially save yourself from having to hire a stranger to walk your dog by paying them a small amount.
Step 8: In writing any agreement.
Hopefully you and your former partner can come to an agreement regarding custody of your pet when you sit down and discuss the situation rationally.Both of you can sign a written agreement if you do.It's not necessary to stress that a signed agreement is legally binding.You don't need to hire a lawyer or draft a contract with lots of legalese.It's fine to have a simple agreement that outlines what you've decided.You should include everything you have said about your pet's care.Make sure your former partner gets a copy of the signed agreement when you sign it.You can take a photo of each of you signing the agreement if you want to avoid any problems later.
Step 9: There is a community mediation center nearby.
Most towns and cities have community mediation clinics that offer mediation services for common disputes, including pet custody issues.Call the county court clerk's office if you want to find a community mediation center near you.You may find different service centers if you live in a larger city.Call for more information if you want to find the one you like the best.You can get a recommendation from a local animal law attorney.They might have a particular mediation clinic that they prefer.Most community clinics are affordable.You can expect a single mediation session to cost a few hundred dollars, although many have sliding-fee scales to assist lower-income individuals.
Step 10: Discuss mediation with a previous partner.
It's not possible to force your former partner to participate in mediation if they aren't interested.You can tell them about it and try to convince them that it's the easiest way to resolve the dispute.The mediation center may have a pamphlet that explains their process in a simple way.Emphasize to your former partner that with mediation, a neutral third-party will work with the two of you to emphasize a mutually agreeable solution.If you don't reach an agreement, you can walk away.Any agreement you reach is confidential.If your former partner is concerned about how it will look to be arguing about pet custody in a courtroom, this may be helpful.
Step 11: Prepare for your meeting.
If you tried to resolve the dispute with your former partner in person, you may have notes that can be used in mediation.The issues about pet custody that are particularly contentious can be isolated by a previous attempt.If you can figure out where there is significant disagreement, the mediation can help you find common ground.Take some time to think about what you want to do with the medication.Your ideal outcome would be that you have full custody of your pet and your former partner doesn't have anything to do with either of you.It's not likely that that will happen, so try to think of areas where you would be willing to compromise.You can bring those ideas to the mediation.
Step 12: Arrive for your appointment.
If you can get there at least 10 minutes early, you have time to get to the right place and get settled before the session starts.The session is usually in an office setting.Try to dress conservatively.The mediator should have a good impression of you.If you want to use notes in your negotiation, bring them with you.If you bring a picture of your pet, you can focus on that during negotiations.You may have to wait in a waiting room if you are directed to a private room.If your former partner is not there, you don't want to have a conversation with your mediation person.Your mediator will usually keep conversation to a minimum so they can remain neutral and assist both of you in finding a mutually agreeable solution to your problem.
Step 13: Give an opening statement.
A brief introduction and explanation of the basic procedure will be provided by the mediator once you and your former partner arrive.They may ask you to give a brief opening statement.Like an opening statement in a courtroom, you don't have to be long.It shouldn't include a single statement like "I want full custody of my pet."It's not helpful for mediation to have this kind of statement.You want to emphasize two or three points in your favor.You could say that you are entitled to full custody of the dog because you brought him home from the pound, named him, and fed him every day.His registration is in my name because I have taken him to the vet frequently.This isn't just about facts.You may be able to point to the unique bond you have with your pet if you're short on points.You could say that your cat runs to the door when you come home from work.
Step 14: Work with a person who is neutral.
After the initial part of the mediation is over, you and your former partner will have to move to separate rooms so the real work of mediation can begin.If you and your former partner can agree on some issues, the mediation may be able to help you move to separate rooms.Even if the issues you're able to agree on are fairly minor points, finding common ground will sew the seeds for continued agreement and compromise.The mediator will try to find room for compromise after you've separated.
Step 15: You should sign a written agreement.
If you and your former partner are able to reach an agreement through mediation, the mediator will write up a document for you to sign.Make sure it reflects everything you've said.Your animal custody agreement can cover many different aspects of pet care, including which of you gets to keep the animal in your home, what kind of food your pet can eat, as well as specifying activities or particular veterinary services.If you agree to take your dog to his favorite park at least once a week, your former partner may be willing to let you have custody.Even if there are relatively minor things in the agreement, it is still a legally binding document and can be enforced in a court of law.
Step 16: The appropriate court has been identified.
If you want to file a lawsuit for the custody of your pet, you need to know what court has jurisdiction over your former partner.In a divorce case, the issue of who gets the pet will be an issue.You will have to file a lawsuit on your own if you weren't married.Small claims courts can handle the issue of pet custody.Small claims courts only award monetary damages.If you file a lawsuit in small claims, you run the risk of losing your case but being awarded the monetary value of your pet, rather than the pet itself.If your former partner has possession of the animal, your county court can order them to give your pet back to you.
Step 17: Don't hesitate to speak with an attorney.
If you have an experienced animal law attorney on your side, you will have a better chance of success in court.An animal law attorney can help you understand the ins and outs of the law in your state.Animal law is a new area of law.Unless you live in a large city, it may be hard to find an attorney who specializes in animal law.It's important to find someone with experience litigating cases similar to yours because animal law is relatively new.Your local humane society may be able to connect you with an attorney who can help.
Step 18: You can file for pet custody.
If you want to file a lawsuit for pet custody after consulting an attorney, you should do so as soon as possible.You can file a complaint with the clerk of the court you want to hear your case in.You can use the forms on the court's website to draft your complaint if you're not using an attorney.The allegations in the complaint entitle you to custody of your pet.You should keep in mind that this is a legal argument, so you need to have facts that show you are the rightful owner of the animal.You will have to pay a filing fee when you file your lawsuit.You can apply for a fee waiver if you can't afford the fee.If your income and assets are below the court's threshold, you will not have to pay court costs.Take the forms with you to the clerk's office.The clerk will assign a date for the next time you have to appear in court, and stamp all of them "filed" with the date.They will return your copies to you.
Step 19: Have your former partner serve.
There are two copies of your court documents.The correct legal service of process must be used to deliver the other copy to your former partner.It's possible to get anyone over the age of 18 who isn't involved in your lawsuit to hand-deliver the documents to your former partner.You can choose a friend or relative.They need to sign a proof of service form for you to file with the court.You can either hire a sheriff's deputy to deliver the court documents to your former partner or mail them with a return receipt requested.
Step 20: Wait for a reply from your former partner.
When your former partner receives your court documents, they have a limited amount of time to respond to your lawsuit.You may be able to win your case by default if your former partner doesn't respond to your lawsuit.You have to show up on the scheduled date.If your former partner files a written response, it will be served on you using the same process that you used to serve them.It is possible that you will be contacted by your former partner to come to an agreement instead of going through a trial.It is possible that your former partner will file a motion to dismiss, arguing that you have stated no legal claim to ownership of your pet.
Step 21: You must gather evidence to support your claim.
The weight of the evidence is what determines the outcome of a lawsuit.You need to show in your lawsuit that you are the rightful owner of your pet and should be granted custody.Depending on the court in which you filed your lawsuit, you may be able to give evidence to your former partner.Unless your former partner has decided to fight you every step of the way, you shouldn't expect this to be an extensive process.Evidence that will support your claim for pet custody in court includes things such as proof that you adopted the pet, state registration or veterinary records that list only you as the owner, and even receipts for dog and cat food and other pet supplies.
Step 22: You should present your case in the court.
When your hearing date arrives, you will have the opportunity to tell the judge your story and present your evidence to show that you deserve full custody of your pet.If you have an attorney, you should still take the stand even if your role is limited.You should show up at the courthouse at least 30 minutes before your hearing, but keep in mind that the judge will be hearing several cases on the same day.Take a seat in the courtroom gallery until your case is over.If you have an attorney, you can move to the front of the courtroom.If you want to support your arguments, you can call witnesses.You can call a friend to testify about your relationship with your pet.If you were the only one who ever took your pet to receive veterinary care, you can be a good witness.
Step 23: Listen to your former partner's arguments.
Your former partner will have the opportunity to respond after you present your side of the story.They may have witnesses testify on their behalf.Try to pay attention to what your former partner is saying.Even if they interrupted you, don't shout out or interrupt your partner.If your former partner calls witnesses to testify on their behalf, you can cross-examine them through your attorney.Pay close attention to their statements and draw on your own knowledge of the person who called to question them.
Step 24: Receive the order from the judge.
The judge will make a decision after hearing from both sides.You can learn the judge's decision at the end of the hearing.He may not have a written order ready in a few days.The court isn't going to enforce the order for you if the judge rules in your favor.If your former spouse doesn't immediately deliver your pet to you, an attorney can help you figure out what to do.Your ability to appeal a decision that wasn't in your favor may be limited if you filed your case in small claims court.If the judge doesn't rule in your favor, you have 30 days to file an appeal.If you have a case for appeal, talk to an attorney.