It is risky to talk to someone on a train, bus, or subway, as you never know when they will get off.The stakes are fairly low and you can easily start and stop a conversation if things get awkward.Get someone's attention by opening a conversation.If they engage, then keep going!You may even make some friends.
Step 1: Make eye contact with someone.
If you make brief eye contact, you can see if the person is interested in you.Try to hold the person's gaze for a second or two.Look at how they respond to your eye contact.It is likely positive if they meet your gaze.It is best not to approach if they look disinterested or look away quickly.After about 30 seconds, try to make eye contact again.If the person makes eye contact with you again, this is a good sign that they want to talk to you.Keep your facial expression light and friendly when making eye contact.
Step 2: There is a smile
smile at the person if you have met their gaze.A small but genuine smile makes you appear personable.You're likely to get them to talk to you if the other person smiles back.If you want to flirt with the person, smiling is a great way to get their attention.A flirtatious smile can be achieved by being coy or cocking your head a bit.
Step 3: Use your body language.
It's a good idea to appear open, comfortable, and available.Keep your arms uncrossed and point your hips in the direction of the person.Stand or sit straight.You should avoid crossing your body, hunching over, or turning away from the person if you want to appear disinterested or closed off.Appropriate spacing is used.The person may feel invaded if you are too close.You won't be able to hear what they say if you're too far away.
Step 4: Take a look at the person's body language and see if they are open.
Look out for the other person's body language as well.It's a good sign if they show open body language towards you.Open body language may be pointed toward you.They should appear relaxed.That's not good if the person buries their head in a book, newspaper or magazine.If their knees are pointed toward you, this is a good sign that they want to connect.Don't approach the person if they are looking out a window or away from you.
Step 5: To start talking, approach the person.
If the other person is interested in conversing, make a move.Move closer if you are far away.If the conversation doesn't work out, you should be able to hear each other, but not feel awkward.Don't crowd them, find a seat near them.Stand close enough to them to be able to speak with them, but don't get too close for comfort.If there is a seat next to them, ask if you can sit there.Many people are excited to chat with you.
Step 6: If you want to avoid disturbing someone, avoid it.
If someone is listening to music with headphones on, approach with caution.These are ways to let others know they want to be undisturbed.If you like the book they are reading, you might want to let them know.If you notice how the person responds, make a quick comment.If the person gives a quick "Thanks" and then goes back to their book, take the hint and move on.If they look like they want to talk, then they should engage in a discussion.
Step 7: Ask the person an open-ended question
A question is a great way to start a conversation, but not everything will do.An open-ended question requires more than a "yes" or "no" answer.If it's not intrusive, insulting or prying, what you ask isn't important.Ask a practical question such as, "How do you get to downtown?"Does the bus stop at the city center?If you know the author, say, "She's a great author if you notice they have a book with them."What other books of hers have you read?
Step 8: Use small talk to get to know each other.
Mention the weather, or say something about how crowded or empty the bus is.This small talk can get you talking to each other.It is possible to have an actual conversation when you make small talk.How are you handling the heat?It has been hot outside.
Step 9: If you like what you see about them, pay them a compliment.
The person is wearing a t-shirt of a band or has an interesting phone case.You want to compliment the person's smile or eyes, because you think they are attractive.Paying a compliment opens the conversation.Giving someone a compliment about their appearance can make them feel good.You can say, "Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you you have a beautiful smile and I love your shirt!"
Step 10: If you want to help them, talk about yourself.
Say something about yourself without being self-centered.The other person will be encouraged to follow suit.Don't say something that's too personal.It is possible to relate what you say to the other person.Say, "Your earrings are great."Don't talk about yourself too much, I also love to wear funky jewelry, like this ring I put on today.If the person is interested in you, ask a question.I'm on the train for the first time.Do you ride often or first time?
Step 11: As long as they seem interested, keep talking.
You should listen to the person's response to your questions and then keep talking.The conversation will flow naturally if the person is interested in you.Get to know the person by asking good questions.They may be asking questions of you as well.Ask about where they come from and what they do for a living.If you want to know if you ride the bus or train frequently, you can ask.
Step 12: Read their comments.
Make sure the person is engaged by checking with them.You are doing well if they are talking back to you and answering questions.Keep an eye on their body language and eye contact to see how engaged they are with you.Wrap up the conversation if they start to shut down, look away, or give short answers, and thank them for chatting.It's better to end the conversation if they aren't very responsive.If the other person doesn't want to chat, then you should not bother them.
Step 13: If you want to speak to them again, ask for their phone number.
If you want to see the person again or talk to them over the phone, you should ask for their phone number.Let the person know that you want to get to know them better.It has been nice getting to know you.I would like to see you again.Make it clear if your advances are friendly or flirtatious.Mention going on a date if you are flirtatious.Talk about becoming friends if you are friendly.
Step 14: Go back to what you were doing when the person was not interested.
Stop talking to the person if they seem disinterested or disengaged.You can either stop the conversation or go back to doing what you were doing before you spoke to them.Some people make small talk but don't want to have a conversation.Let them be who they are and respect their privacy.Put on your headphones or phone.