Talking about bodies, puberty, and sex can be difficult for a parent, but it doesn't need to be.Girls today hit puberty earlier than ever before, typically beginning with the growth of pubic and armpit hair, followed by breast buds and the first menstrual period.Even if your daughter is not an early bloomer, there is a good chance that at least one of her friends will start her period when she is in elementary school.Your daughter's developing body doesn't have to be scary.Provide her with all the information and reassurance she needs by approaching the topic with a calm demeanor.
Step 1: Don't wait and talk.
Around the age of puberty, parents would often sit down with their children and talk about birds and bees.If children have already heard about the topics from school or the media, this strategy often overwhelms them with too much information at once.Think about this as an ongoing conversation that lasts her entire childhood, providing your daughter with information about her body and sexuality.Start talking to your daughter now if you haven't already.She can benefit from your knowledge and wisdom if she is living with you.
Step 2: It is age appropriate.
It's not a good idea to give her too much information at one time, and you also want to make sure you only give age-appropriate information.A young child could be frightened or given a distorted view of sex if she is told too much about reproduction.Focus on body positivity before age 8 if you want to keep things age appropriate.Use terms like "vagina" and "vulva" to teach her that girls and boys have different parts.She should be taught about the difference between hugs and pats on the back and bad touch in areas of the body covered by swimsuits.If she is not comfortable, teach her what to do.Discuss menstruation with your daughter by the age of 8.It is not uncommon for your daughter to have an early start to menstruation after age 8.It can be frightening for a young girl to start her period without knowing what to do.During puberty, talk to her about relationships, peer pressure, and the changes in her and her friends' bodies.Breast changes, hair and body odor, weight gain, and mood changes should be given more information.She needs to learn more about menstruation, hygiene, and sexuality.Talk to her about holding hands, kissing, and sexuality from ages 12 and up.Talk to her about how she is being treated.
Step 3: The atmosphere of openness should be built.
You want your daughter to be able to ask questions and come to you with her concerns.She will feel obligated to find her answers elsewhere if you don't cultivate an atmosphere of openness and safety in your home.As a family, spend time together.They should eat dinner together.As a family, develop mutual hobbies like gardening, sports, or camping.Don't use your tech.Encourage your family to be present in the moment by eliminating technology that distracts them.The less distraction your family has, the more likely they will talk.Discuss everything with one another.Talk to your child.Be involved with her day to day life by asking questions and telling her about your day.Prioritize her.If she comes to you with a question, stop what you're doing and talk to her.Schedule a time when you can talk to her about it.Follow through and have the conversation.
Step 4: Pay attention to how you talk about these topics.
If you are one of the many people who are uncomfortable talking about sex, the body, and puberty with your daughter, you may not know how it will affect the way you approach these topics with her.She will notice if you talk about these things in a way that makes them seem forbidden, secret, or taboo.It is possible to convey to your daughter that there is something wrong with her body if you act as if the subject is shameful.Her privacy and secrecy are different.
Step 5: There are helpful books to consider building your family library with.
Sexual reproduction, puberty, and other important issues are covered in a straight forward and age appropriate way in many books on the market.If your daughter doesn't feel comfortable asking questions, having books available gives her a safe resource.Ask your local bookstore worker for suggestions or check out parenting forums online.Let your daughter know that searching online for topics related to sexuality and the body can be dangerous.It's important that you teach her that there are certain topics that are not safe to search online, not because you don't trust her, but because the internet contains dangerous things.Make sure your home computer has parental controls.Many children have stumbled upon pornography while searching for information on puberty.
Step 6: Wait until you have some privacy.
You don't have to make a big deal out of it by telling her you need to talk.You can casually mention it on a car ride or while walking in the neighborhood.If your family is normally private about puberty and sexuality, now is not a good time to open up.She won't like her body changes being discussed in front of her family.
Step 7: Be thorough.
You can be honest if you feel nervous and think it's affecting the conversation.You want to give her as much information as possible, but you're a little nervous to talk to her.Being thorough doesn't mean you have to tell her everything you know.Let her ask questions if she wants to know more.
Step 8: Let her ask the questions.
You can always keep the door open for future questions if you put the girls on the spot.Let her know that she can come to you with any questions, no matter how silly they might seem to her.Keep that promise, and you will always be honest with her.You can help her find the answer if you don't always know it.Don't laugh at her questions when she comes to you.At the time, it might seem funny.You don't take her seriously if you laugh at her.She doesn't have as much experience as you do.
Step 9: Practical tips should be the focus of the attention.
Your daughter may be embarrassed with all the details of sexuality and may not want to talk about it.Many times young girls are more interested in practical tips for navigating puberty, like how to treat acne, buy a bra, or avoid staining her underwear.Many girls enjoy hearing their mother's stories about puberty.Don't be afraid to share your best tips and stories, but remember to avoid telling her stories that will scare her or make her more anxious.
Step 10: Let her know what to expect first
There are a lot of changes that occur over several years.Knowing what she might expect and what order these changes will occur might ease her mind.Breast buds are the first sign of puberty for most girls.Her nipples may become more prominent.More breast tissue will develop over time.Her breasts may be tender, but they usually go away in a few months.Breast buds can come earlier or later depending on the age.Hair growing in the pubic area is the next stage of puberty for most girls.The appearance of breast buds can cause pubic hair to grow sooner or later.The hair starts out thin and soft, and gets thicker and curlier over time.The first menstrual period is called menarche.The average age for a girl's first period is around 12.
Step 11: Let her know that she is different.
It's important that you tell her that she is not the only one going through puberty.You want to assure her that everyone changes at their own pace, and that some girls experience more change than others.If your daughter is an early bloomer and has gotten breasts or her period before her peers, she may feel anxious.If she is the last in her group of friends to go through puberty, she might feel self-conscious.Let her know that there is a wide variation in what is normal, for example, some girls start their periods at 9 years old, while others don't start until 16.
Step 12: Talk to her about sexually transmitted infections.
Before your daughter has her first menstrual period, it is important that you have honest and thorough conversations with her about the risks associated with sex.A girl can become pregnant even before she has had her first period, since an egg is released prior to the first monthly bleeding, and she won't know when it will be released.She needs to know that sex carries a risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections even if you use a condom.
Step 13: Talk to her about her options.
Your daughter should be aware of her options for menstrual hygiene.Let her make her own decisions.Before she starts her first period, make sure she has the supplies she needs.Most young girls don't want to use the first time, but they can use slim or junior sizes to fit younger bodies.If she is interested in trying them, explain how they work.She can use thin pads with wings for period protection.Cloth pads can be laundered and used again.Tell her how they are used.Let her experiment with different options after she starts her period.She can be taught how to dispose of feminine hygiene products discreetly by wrapping them in a wrapper.She should know not to flush them down the toilet.Use a small cosmetics bag or other discreet bag and pack a "period readiness" kit for her to keep in her backpack or purse.She'll have the supplies she needs if she starts her period while at school or out of the house.There is a panty liner, pads in a few different sizes, and a change of underwear.
Step 14: Let her know when and if she can shave.
The pubic area and thicker leg hair are normal parts of puberty and a sign of a healthy, developing body.Since many women shave it, your daughter may feel pressured to do so as well.If your daughter wants to shave her hair, teach her how to do it safely.Let your daughter know that shaving her pubic hair is not a good idea.It can cause irritation and pain on the thin skin beneath it, and can lead to infections and in-grown hairs.If your daughter is not comfortable with her pubic hair, give her a pair of scissors.In cultures where women are encouraged to have hairless bodies, many girls experience embarrassment or even shame about their body hair.Don't make comments about hair on other women's or girls' bodies.
Step 15: She needs to buy a bra when she is ready.
When her breasts begin to develop, she may experience pain and tenderness, and this can be alleviated by wearing a supportive bra.Don't force her to wear a bra if she does not want to.Bras aren't necessary for your daughter's health.Many girls don't want to wear a bra at this age, if she is self conscious about her breast buds.Follow her instructions.